melodiesoflife | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Characters: Ramza Beoulve, OPEN
Where: The Observatory Memorial and the Space Saloon, Aqures Ixen
When: January 13th
Summary: The Calamity is restarting, who even knows what happened at Christmas, and Ashelia just turned to Crystal...on Ramza's birthday. It's high time for a drink.
Warning: Drunkenness, angst, potential rowdiness.

A. The Heroes' Memorial behind the Old Observatory

Ramza stood before the Heroes' Memorial. Thanks to MarKus's fine craftsmanship, it was no worse for wear after ten months of standing out in the elements. All the names of the people the Heroes had lost, both here in Crystallis and on their home worlds, gleamed in the etched panels that MarKus and Ramza had installed.

But now, a name was missing. The name that was his only tie back to Ivalice, the only sense of kinship in this world of strange things and strange people.

It was Ramza's duty to carve the name, so that everyone would remember. Queen Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca of Ivalice. The leader who had rallied together the Heroes of Light, who had always known what to say and how to respond to their baffling circumstances.

When he finished carving the name, he knelt before the memorial. "Lady Ashelia, be at peace. I pray you find your way back to your land and your late lord husband."

What was he supposed to do without her guidance? Aqures Ixen was a darker place for having her trapped within crystal in the hospital ward.

Ramza stood. He should go back to the hospital now, he supposed. Keep a vigil by her bedside, an ever faithful knight. This was not quite where he'd imagined he'd find himself at 20, back when he was a lad. No, wait, it was twenty-one now, he realized. His birthday had passed, overshadowed by the loss of his kinswoman.

"Damn it all, I need a drink," he said.

B. The Space Saloon

Ramza had been to his roommate's Space Saloon enough times that Barkeep kept milk on tap for him. But this day, this month, this year, it called for something stronger. He gestured to one of the bottles that lined the bar, not knowing which one he wanted, but not caring, so long as it was strong.

He raised the glass, nodded to the person sitting beside him, and murmured, "To Lady Ashelia," before he downed the glass.

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The second time that Jack and Ramza have found themselves both drawn to this spot, the memorial, but it's a different name being carved into the surface. Jack stands, coat buttoned up tight and shrouding him as he thinks of what to say. She isn't dead. Some of the Crystalized Heroes have come out of it.

But this is different.

"I'm sorry." The thing you have to say at a time like this. The next thing is usually 'but we have to keep going.' But it's not time for that yet.

Ramza did not feel much like talking to anyone right at that moment....but Jack was the very bottom of the list. His betrayal on their Imperial expedition felt more than just a few weeks away now, but it was still a raw wound. He was usually inclined to be polite, but today was not 'usual'.

"I need none of your empty sentiment, Captain." He'd not begrudge anyone the opportunity to show their respect to Lady Ashelia, but that didn't mean he had to converse with them.

Jack frowns slightly, but if Ramza's way of mourning involves pushing people away, Jack certainly has no space to throw stones. "Not empty, you certainly weren't the only one who cared for her." A little bitter there. "But, fine."

"The other one of the Heroes that most of us seem to have loyalty to is Lady Zelda, and we should be thinking about how to reorganize if and until the Lady Ashelia comes back." He's thinking of going to Ramza with this, because he has been the other organizing voice, the one who has wanted to bother reaching out to the Heran Empire, the one looking for other ways of solving this problem, rather than waiting for things to come to them. So, is Ramza the sort of person who copes best by burying himself in another problem to solve?

A chocked laugh tore itself from Ramza's throat. "Not empty? You speak in nothings, Jack Harkness. Your words have not the value of the air it takes to breath them."

The Captain had a point. They did need a leader, and acting quickly and decisively would keep the other Heroes from running amok. But Jack had proven himself untrustworthy, and his slick tone and handsome face were just tools he used to deceive. How many others had Ramza known like that? How many times had he been fooled?

"I thought the best course of action to organize everyone was to start a war. Is that not your plan now?" Sarcasm was a foreign tongue to him, but his anger and hurt made easy the translation.

Certainly not the first time Jack's been accused of this, but his reaction is surprised. His mouth opens, and for an instant, he almost tamps down on the righteous anger, but it slips out anyway. "Ex-cuse me? I was right there with you trying to keep a war from breaking out from desperation. The easy answer would've been for the Herans to strike right back out at us to leave their Empire, and they didn't."

Understand, Jack. Something's gone wrong here, for him to decide to blame you for this.

Jack folds his arms and takes a deep breath. "Where is this coming from? We did everything we could to save the Herans, we tried when even the Herans themselves expected us not to. It's none of our faults that it didn't work."

Ramza thought it was obvious where this was coming from. It was coming from broken promises and betrayal of faith. He looked skyward, took a calming breath, then addressed Jack.

"How am I supposed to trust anything you say, when you break your word without a second thought as soon as it serves your purpose? Maybe you wanted to save the Empire, or perhaps you had a hidden agenda." Jack had worked his way into the presence of the Imperials, and who was to say what ends he had been pursuing there?

Ashelia would know what to make of the captain, but she was gone now. Zelda would trust Jack, but she trusted everyone, and not everyone deserved it. It was up to Ramza to be the discerning one now.

"Broken word," Jack mutters in repeat. The frown reappears on Jack's face. "One attempted proposal, that they didn't take, and suddenly my word's no good? I don't care about the Empire, I care about the people, and I was trying to make that damn clear."

"I've been saying all along that I'm not the right person to be solving this, but since he's not here, I did the best I could. I've seen that kind of tactic work before. Sometimes people need a tangible threat that they think they can do something about before they'll act. Never had a problem being the bad guy if it means lives get saved."

Jack shrugs and holds his arms out to the sides in frustration. "I don't know if there was a way to win that. Was there anything that we could do that would mean more people are alive now? I was trying to find it."

"I have seen men who think as you do. 'It matters not the path we take, so long as we get to our goal.' They walk down dark paths for all the best reasons, but what they do changes them."

It was not about Jack anymore, not really. Ramza closed his eyes for a moment, and he saw flashes of his elder brothers, his former friend, all the great knights and nobles who had become monstrous because they believed their ends justified their terrible means.

"Sometimes, endeavor is not enough. Sometimes, you lose, and people die. But you still have to try, and you must do it the right way. If you start to sacrifice your ideals, they get worn away. One life becomes an acceptable loss, then a handful, and soon, no cost is too great to assure victory. I have seen it happen to great men, Jack. Do not let it happen to you."

For the sake of the 'great man' that Jack so often spoke of, he hoped Jack would turn away from being the 'bad guy' that he thought would solve their problems.

There is a flash of anger that cuts straight across Jack's face, and his next words are through slightly gritted teeth. "Don't talk to me about acceptable losses. I've lost. People have died. And I already know what's at the end of that road. A whole planet that feels too small, too dead, because one man isn't in it. I try my damndest, and people still die. It's never acceptable." His fist is balled tight inside of his gauntlet as he stares at Ramza with that sudden tension that doesn't want to leave.

"Do you know how many people were in the Imperial City? I don't. Millions? Best estimate I got. Couldn't get any sort of an accurate number. And that's not even close to acceptable. If scaring the hell out of them got them all to just leave. Go anywhere else? If they'd be alive?"

Jack's fist slowly opens, and his gaze wanders back to the memorial. "Do we even have anybody else with a clue of how to manage that many people? This same argument is going to happen again."

Strange, how Jack's words made Ramza want to punch his face, when so much of what he said what was Ramza was saying as well. Any life lost was too great. They had failed, despite their efforts, and they would never be free from that guilt.

But unlike Jack, Ramza had to believe the path they took to get to their destination mattered. Even if what he had done had not made a difference, he could have done no differently. If he chose the way of deception, he would become like Delita, willing to do darker and darker deeds to see his will become reality.

Jack would never understand. He was too stubborn, too convinced he was right. Arguing with him was a fool's errand.

"The past cannot be changed. We lost more than either of us can bear to know, but we can still save the rest of this world. If you think you know best how to do that, then speak. Otherwise, I would prefer we part ways."

That was rude, but better than starting a fight in front of the memorial where others were expressing their grief. Ashelia would never forgive him if he caused a spectacle here. He wasn't sure who else would have the leadership abilities Jack was asking about. No one here seemed as capable at Ashelia in leading and making ruthlessly hard decision.

The longer that you know Jack, in any circumstances, the more you want to punch the man in the face. But Jack actually appreciates the topic shift back on the business. And he would certainly prefer to continue associating with Ramza.

"For you and me, we need to identify the next area in danger of the Calamity. Keep the diplomatic work going. Esdham would be more willing to work with us, but I don't actually know if they're next..." Going to have to take a look at the computers in the laboratory again.

"The Lady Zelda shouldn't be saddled with everything that her highness was doing in addition to her current duties. We need to speak to some of the other Heroes and find someone well respected willing to step up. I could put together a list of suitable candidates. Preferably someone like Zelda, from worlds that seem to be similar to this one, are used to how things work here. Someone that people already listen to." Pause. "You would be one of the names on it, you know."

It was easier to deal with Jack while they were working toward a common goal, though the feeling of mistrust persevered. But Ashelia would prefer him to work toward their goal rather than waste time arguing, were she able to voice her opinion.

"I will get a map and see if we can predict the likely expansion based upon the previous progressions. That...Sage...knows more than he says, but who knows if he will tell us any more." He said the word 'Sage' as if it were an impolite word he'd rather not speak aloud.

"Yes, we must find someone both competent and willing to take on such a great responsibility. We should examine the options closely. I...am willing, but..." He would never claim he was deserving of a role of leadership. Years of being looked down upon for his commoner blood and his unwillingness to bend to society had left some marks on him.

The best way to work back towards a semblance of trust is through actions anyway. He'll show Ramza he's more than just words. Maybe the urge to prove the man wrong would help drive Jack forwards. "If you're not confident in your own abilities, there are certainly other candidates. Yuna. Uh, the Yuna that went with us," Jack grins a little. Never a problem that he'd thought he'd ever have. "Perhaps Cloud Strife. At the very least, I think the man needs to be doing something more than tending chocobos."

Pause. "But I'd follow your lead. You're willing to tell me when I'm wrong." And Jack knows from experience that he needs that.

Jack turns and starts to leave, perhaps this is as peaceful a result as the two of them can get for now. But he stops. "If you're willing, I'd like to speak to the Sage. I'm told I have a way with people who give cryptic answers."

The suggestions Jack made were sound. Yuna had never given him reason to doubt, and the fact that she had been willing to return to the Empire in peace after being captured and tortured spoke of hidden depths of both strength and compassion.

"I think Yuna is a fine choice. Cloud is...a little young yet, though he grows...will grow...into a fine man. He is indeed meant for more than herding at the stables."

And perhaps Jack's slick way with words would be useful against the Sage. "If you think you might get anything useful from him, then by all means, try. He was able to tell us about the Calamity's spread before. He could do it again, if you could convince him."

He sighed. "With advance notice, there is no reason we would not be able to evacuate the people there and save them before the next wave of Crystallization." But he'd thought so last time, and that had turned out very different.

Okay, they're of the same mind when it comes to Cloud, although Jack catches that little slip. Does Ramza know more about the Gaians than he's letting on? Not something to tackle right now.

"I'll look through the laboratory, then, see which nation is the next in line." Jack pauses. "The other area, to the south, Nabila? Might be them before parts of Mysidia. We start diplomatic overtures early, this time?" Not that they had any other choice than to wait until the last moment.

"I'll keep in contact." Things are strained, but the two of them are going to keep working towards stopping this. For now, Jack will leave Ramza in peace.

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