some things can't be solved on your own.

[water_meebo]

Who: Mikleo, Lust, Edna, Lailah, Sorey & Whoever else has CR with Mikleo
Where: Palitutu’s Laboratory – Aqures Ixen
When: November 21st
What: After a lot of contemplations, Mikleo decides to face his other self in order to obtain more knowledge and control over everything that’s is going on.

Mikleo stood quietly in the room, looking rather torn between doing this and leaving it as is. For the longest time, he’s known that there were many things about himself that he kept under wraps. Some of which he’d never share with anyone here in Aqures Ixen and there are others that have been faced thanks to his friends and companions.

He didn’t know what to expect at this point. He only knew that whatever came from this, would be the answer to everything he wondered about. At least conquering a part of himself will help him move forward. He gripped his Crystal tightly for a long moment. Muse slowly lowered herself next to him and put her small paws on his shoulders, trying to comfort him in any way she could. As strange as it sounded, the moogle really did remind him of his mother. She had a gentle caring tone whenever she spoke with him and would drape blankets on him when he stayed overnight in the library.

The Water Seraph gave the moogle a small pat of reassurance before handing her his crystal.

“I’m ready.”

He mused softly. Once the Crystal was put down, and the process started, he was looking at himself, with the same physical appearance. The only difference with him was the color of his clothes were white and instead of his usually glowing purple eyes, it was a deep, almost ominous purple.

Except the ominous purple eyes, the other Mikleo only simply curls into himself in a corner of the room, not acknowledging anyone in particular. He had his hands tightly around his knees as his head is partially buried there.

”Tell them to go.”

It said bluntly, ”They need to leave.”

Mikleo is completely taken back by the words that were spoken to him. Was that really another version of himself?

“I can’t ask that of them. They’ve gone a long way to come here.”

”I don’t want them here. I don’t want to see them. I’ll only hurt them.”

Comments

[handle]

It's still a strange thought - the fact that others here have and can confront their other halves. This is the first time he's seen it, and... he's sure that it's not going to be the last time. He frowns slightly at the sight of the other Mikleo cowering, and then to Mikleo. It was a.. strange sight, and so were his words - but, much like Edna, he can't exactly imagine Mikleo hurting any of them.

"We'll stay if you want us to, Mikleo." He knows that Edna and Lailah won't want to leave all that easily, just like Sorey definitely wouldn't. He doesn't think that this will get violent, but... he doesn't want Mikleo to do this alone unless he wants to do this alone.

[water_meebo]

In the room full of people, everything seems almost suffocating but at the same time it was better to be around those you care about. Except a part of him was always worried about this happening. What if he was unable to control those other feelings that he kept to himself. What would happen to those around him. Mikleo was speechless at the way his other self was behaving but it was all a reflection of what was in his heart. He knew that, yet accepting it was complicated. It wasn't simply about saying "yes," and letting things run their course.

It was the matter of saying "yes," and going through with it 100%. Right now he was not 100%. He was worried that he'd lose to his own emotions and his friends would suffer for him. Especially, those that have already been hurt because of him. Sure it wasn't his fault but it's not like Mikleo would let it go. Lust had gotten hurt protecting him because he was careless. Under some unknown force, he had hurt Hisui unintentionally. The worst part was remembering everything he did as if it was yesterday.

He almost stumbled back at the surfacing thoughts. His throat felt dry. He had to say something. He had to reassure them that things were going to be okay. Sorey was here, right? He didn't have to feel like he was missing a part of himself... right?.

"..."

"What if I hurt someone again? What if someone else gets hurt...Lust-- and Hisui weren't the only ones. The child-- we couldn't--"

"Yeah," Mikleo closed his eyes, balling his hands into fists, "Back then-- when we tried to save that town, we couldn't. There weren't enough resources. We couldn't do anything but watch everything fall apart."

Facing everything head on right? He shouldn't hesitate. He knew that none of his friends would let him do this alone. Even saying those words didn't truly mean that he wanted that. It's not about leaving. It's something much heavier.

"It's not whether I want to do this alone or not. I'm--"

"Scared."

Just like that the other version of himself spoke the words for him. Scared. No one knows what the future will bring. Even now, as much as he wants to be optimistic, Crystallis was falling apart.

[terrorfirma]

"Scared of what?" Edna's tone was as flat as ever, as she steered her gaze back over towards the real one. She knew him well enough by now to know he was probably dwelling on things that had happened during their time here, things that none of them could change... a feeling she knew too well. Thousandfold even, if you measured the years.

She turned her back, opening her umbrella and resting it on her shoulder, shielding herself from prying eyes. "If you're worried people are going to get hurt trying to help you, you should realize that it's not just you that has a say in it. Pretty selfish, don't you think, believing you can make up other people's minds for them."

Even Edna had come to accept that she didn't want to leave the family they'd created along the way... Meebos included. Hearing him say something like that was almost as good as a don't follow me anymore. And she didn't want to hear that. Not ever.

"And—" her tone dropped, uncharacteristically, coming in softer than usual, "you know it too. You can't always save everyone."

[gorgeous_sin]

Lust found herself smiling at Edna's words. She loosely held her elbows as she listened. Sure, she could inform him that he was stupid for thinking she even minded getting hurt, as she'd been stabbed, burned, shot, and torn apart multiple times before ever making an appearance in Crystallis. But given how instinctively she'd moved to prevent Mikleo from being harmed, a statement like that would seem...hypocritical.

She sighed.

"Fear is a human emotion. I'm not surprised you have it." Seraph or not, he was 'human' enough that she would readily apply the term 'humanity' to someone like him. "If you're afraid to lose someone, it's an expression of love. Why is that so shameful?" It probably spoke volumes to her own lack of love in her fearless approach to danger. That thought caused her expression to sober for a moment, a flicker of irritation on her brow, before it faded.

"None of us would label you a coward. Surely you're aware of this, mm?"

[handle]

Sorey can't help but feel his heart sink. He should've been here sooner - he should've been able to help everyone during what he could. Mikleo-- had been carrying this burden with him this entire time. But, what matters is what's happening now. Apologies and conversation about such things could come after. The lesson that you can't save everyone is one that's... difficult to learn - a painful one, he imagines. When they left Elysia, he can only imagine that Mikleo didn't think he'd have to be in situation such as this one. Rather, it's not one you think about until it's happening.

He reaches, slowly putting a hand on Mikleo's shoulder in what he hopes to be some reassurance.

"They're right, Mikleo. ... What your feeling doesn't make you weak. Isn't what you're doing now the opposite of that?"

[ranoutofbugs]

Lailah couldn't help but lower her head and smile to herself. Mikleo had very good friends, and she didn't need to put herself out there to be the first one, because their journeys together have bonded everyone. Perhaps all the pain and hardship and failures in her previous lives as a Prime Lord were worth it to see this moment, and all the other moments to come.

Stepping forward, Lailah bowed at the Calamity Mikleo. "Mikleo's kindness may have others possibly take advantage of him, but it is also one of his greatest strengths. Fear by itself is not a bad thing. It keeps us alert, ready to face danger, and know when to stop pursuing avenues that are better less traveled. However, what truly defines someone who faces fear is what they do after it. Mikleo has shown himself time and time again to rise in face of adversity, even when it came down to having to sacrifice us seraphim in our final battle - he was not here to be a hindrance to anybody. He has faced far tougher than you. And even if he may not be strong enough by himself, we come together as a single force to be reckoned with - a team."

[water_meebo]

He stumped first by Edna's words, both him and his the other him. It was not unusual for Edna to say what she felt but at the same time the words she said last reminded him exactly what he was forgetting. Even with their journeys both at home and here in Crystallis, there is no guanratee that every single living being could be saved. It's the truth but somewhere along the way, it became complicated and he had forgotten how important that phrase was.

He was scared of not being strong enough to protect those he held close more than death itself. Dying was a natural process. Everything will perish one day and nothing lasts forever. That's the truth but not being able to preserve those lives before their passing was always more than a little difficult. He can't help but have a bitter smile plastered across his face for Edna's comment.

"Perhaps, I am being selfish for not wanting to involve others or choosing to not let them get hurt in my stead. I know it's not the right thing to do but, I don't want to let anyone down."

That's all he could say to her really. The last statement takes a moment for him to reply to, "Yeah."

He couldn't save the world and the billions of people in it. That's just the reality of things. It's the matter of jus taking the situation into consideration and doing what he could to save as many as he could. It's something he knew as well as everyone else. Yet, of course it still bothered him. Even here, it was still painful to watch people die.

Shameful...? Was that how it came off to Lust as? Perhaps, he should have expressed himself better with her. He shook his head, "Perhaps a part of me does feel that way without knowing."

He glances at his other self from the small distance that they had between.

"Shameful huh? Is that how I seem right now to you?" in which the response is met with a small nod but no further words, "I see."

He made no room to protest the statement and looked back at Lust, "I'm aware but it doesn't change how I feel. I'll have to try harder, then won't I?"

Rather than pushing himself away or denying these words, he accepted them. It was going to be a process but he wasn't going to let himself be miserable like this forever. He had to get stronger not by himself but with everyone that he cared about. The reassurance was comforting, honestly. He looked back when he felt the hand on his shoulder. All he could do was nod. Sorey's right as well. He's here trying to stave off his insecurities so that he could accept them for what they were and become stronger with them.

"That's right. I didn't come here to just give up."

Lailah also always knew what to say with words of strong advice, reminding him that he was very much that person that wouldn't change.

His other self only looked in utter confusion as Lailah went for him instead of his other self. It looked entirely shocked just as Mikleo had seemed to catch wind of what Lailah had said. Such words could only make his face turn even more red as he looked away. On the other hand, the other Mikleo, was still stunned, though perhaps her word had touched it enough to smile briefly as took in all of her words. Given all the words that were thrown his way, Mikleo seemed like he was about to cry. Not because he was sad, but because he was slowly starting to understand why he seemed off for so long.

"We are fortunate to be surrounded by those cherish us fondly..."

"Yes."

There's nothing more for his Shadow to say really. These things that were bothering him, one by one were pushed off his chest-- his fears, his insecurities and whatever other little things that were part of him that he was pushing aside.

"What will you do now?"

It was as if the Shadow would constantly test Mikleo's resolve time and time again.

"I'll keep going. I won't succumb to the fear, nor will I doubt myself anymore. I'll overcome everything. I'll be stronger so that I can protect those I care about from here on. Even if it's scary, and even if I might waver, I won't give up."

[gorgeous_sin]

She could have chided him for making assumptions. Lust had never cherished anything (let alone cherished someone fondly). She didn't have that kind of capacity for love.

And yet, here she was just the same, wasn't she? Trying to make sure this boy didn't wind up breaking down and getting himself hurt because he was simply too sentimental, or too unprepared for what he was holding back.

Her lashes dipped slightly as her gaze moved to the floor just in front of Mikleo's feet, silently pensive. This thought wasn't entirely new to her. He had value because she could learn the finer points of humanity through his observation. She'd believed he was exactly the sort she could manipulate into creating a Philosopher's Stone. But now she wasn't so sure. Something was changing, she couldn't deny that. What was it...?

Lust's gaze flicked back up to Mikleo's determined young face. "See that you do. Are you going to get this over with, or are you going to keep us here all night?" she remarked dryly, gesturing with an open hand as she smiled.

[terrorfirma]

It seemed as though there was nothing more to be said. Edna, for her part, had used up all her words by now, anyway. Mikleo wasn't someone to shy away from a challenge, and even less to to turn away from his own short-comings. No, he was far too bright to fall into that kind of despair. Heh, she chuckled silently in her mind. Thank goodness he couldn't hear her thoughts just then, it might have gone to his head.

Turning slowly, she folded her parasol back into itself again, taking those few steps over to Mikleo. Without warning, there's a surprise jab to the small of his back with the pointy end.

"That's right. So let's keep going, what are you waiting for?"

[water_meebo]

"I'm truly grateful, to all of you. Thank you for supporting me and being my friends."

He started, a small smile still played on his lips, hinted with a brief moment of gloss in his eyes. He shouldn't be crying right now so he held it back. It made him happy to know that regardless of the future he had strong support from those he cared about and more so that they spent their time encouraging him relentlessly.

He was still scared of the future, and he was still worried about hurting those close to him but the important fact is that he had to take it all in stride and with his head up high.

"Yeah, I think it's ti--- Ouch!"

He jolted forward almost into his own Shadow thanks to Edna. Mikleo shoots her a glare before trying to straighten himself up and letting the throbbing pain diminish from the small of his back.

"Can you do that with a little less force!?"

Though, the jab at least made him move close enough to his other self. Mikleo holds the hands of his Shadow silently, while he smiled seriously.

"I know you're only a reflection of my insecurities, but thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone, and thank you for helping me stronger. Everyone as well. Thank you for giving me a hand. I can definitely walk with my head up high now."

That's what I want to hear. The Shadow replied in his mind. In a moment, the other version of himself completely disappeared into his being and Mikleo falls to the ground with a huge breath of exhaustion.

[ranoutofbugs]

Lailah walked over to Mikleo and attempted to support him up. She wasn't particularly strong, but Mikleo's rather dainty physique wasn't difficult to support. "Goodness, that was exciting." She chuckled, looking at the others. "What say we all head out for some ice cream in celebration?"

[gorgeous_sin]

Lust, too, dropped to a knee almost instinctively, hands braced against Mikleo's chest and shoulder to support him. She hadn't even thought about what she was doing; her body simply moved on its own. The boy was clearly exhausted after such an ordeal and in dire need of rest. Or perhaps he simply needed a moment to gather his thoughts and catch his breath.

"Can you stand?" she asked, oddly gentle in her tone of voice. If he wanted ice cream with his friends, then she had no objections to letting him go with them. But he didn't seem like he was quite up to walking, let alone celebrating.

They might need to just bring the ice cream to him.