melodiesoflife | open log!

Entry tags:

open log!

Characters: Luke fon Fabre
Where: Various Locations around Aqures Ixen
When: May 5th - 27th
Summary: After getting a bit of cabin fever, Luke decides to head out and possibly interact with people.
Warning: None so far!

While Luke had been purposefully keeping mostly to himself, he'd come to realize just how pointless it was to live that way. Heh, though it certainly wasn't the first time he'd acted as a recluse after terrible things happened. Guess old habits really did die hard... And Luke was definitely no exception to the occasionally letting himself slip back into them thing.

That didn't mean he didn't miss his friends, of course! Because, man... he really did. Even those he hadn't really gotten to know all that well, even. It just... happened that losing Guy and Tear had hit him pretty hard, and so he'd needed to figure some things out. Some decisions had been made, and then they were turned into vows to... himself, really.

After realizing the stupidity of shutting himself away from the world, he decided he would stop wasting his days like an idiot. Life was too short and unpredictable to let even a second be carelessly tossed into the wind... and certain secrets should be exposed for what they were.

If Guy and Tear did come back... there were things he'd tell them as soon as possible. And the next time he saw Jade and Anise, he'd finally open up about some of the things that happened. To the latter two of the group, he sent them each a letter that would ask them to meet him at some point during the week after the 10th.

The former two of the group was what he assumed to be just a waiting game, honestly.

In the meantime, he could be found just about anywhere (out getting something to eat, training in an open area, or simply out walking -- just as examples) during most of the month... and would occasionally stop to greet someone, especially if they had a familiar face, while out and about.

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There's one more familiar face for Luke to come across, and hopefully he's prepared for it. Tear had already spoken with their other comrades, but to meet up with Luke... It still left her with an indescribable feeling in her chest, and the more attentive observer might just notice the way she has her hands clasped together, gaze wandering from the ground to the sky and back.

Had she not been doing so, she might have noticed the flash of red hair sooner. But there it was, that unmistakeable silhouette in the corner of her vision. So she slows to a stop, staring for just a second before speaking up. "Luke...?"

And it's just a matter of turning and taking in that very familiar face, to obtain that nearly cruel confirmation; she's back. Back in the place that had snatched her away once again. Back to the place he'd prayed she'd never come back to, if only for the sake of sparing her. She doesn't belong in a place like this, regardless of the promise that the first Tear -- and... Guy -- he'd encountered had reminded him of.

Those are promises he kind of wishes they'd never made... in spite of just how awful he feels about thinking this way. Deep down, however, he knows there's a very small chance the ones he'd come to see as a family back home will stay, no matter how many times they manage to appear in this place... (even the person Gaara holds an incredibly large amount of respect for, has yet to reawaken... so it's far from a matter of anyone's feelings).

He has to force those thoughts to stop, before they surface too much on his face. Never mind the look that implies he's standing face-to-face with the ghost of a lost loved one, for a few seconds. He's holding a blink and releasing a long exhale as he fights to steady his -- briefly unsteady -- breathing. It's after that, he's speaking in a voice that's probably too quiet to hear, "Tear..."

Finally -- after clenching his teeth and swallowing really hard -- he forces himself to raise his voice enough to properly be heard. There's a very strong desire to look strong, of course. In spite of his earlier expression, he quickly begins working to steady himself. So, he's giving a very... bad attempt at sounding casual (and it doesn't help that the smile is forced in such a painfully obvious way...), "Hey... What's up?"

Her eyes register every movement, on his expression when he first sees her. Even as he tries to hide it—and so foolishly, didn't he realise she could see right through it?—she doesn't look away from his face. Yes, she may have literally just seen it before waking to the soothing wind of the crystal, walking alongside her up those stairs to do what had to be done, but her feelings upon seeing him now were incredible. She knew what waited at the top of those stairs, and though she may have been steeling herself for that outcome, she felt herself falling back now that she sees that Luke was, undeniably, within reach.

Yet where he was failing to hide, she was succeeding. Her face doesn't betray the surge of emotion as she walks forward to close that distance, no doubt a result of her soldier training, but her eyes still hinted at them, as they sometimes did. Hearing his voice sound like that, just what had he gone through? How much had she fallen short on watching over him?

"Luke..." Her voice is softer than normal when she stops just in front of him, her arms crossing as she sought his eyes."I believe I should be the one asking you, shouldn't i?"

... He recognizes that look.

There's such a familiar feeling, just like that. The scrutiny of those familiar eyes... Unlike with how it used to be, he's feeling a little unsteady under her gaze. Maybe it's because he knows how little he'll be able to hide. Not only that, but there's a very cold reminder...

Things are never gonna be how they used to be... because far too much has changed. Because of all of this, green eyes are lowering to stare at the ground, in spite of her seeking them out. He finally lets the false smile drop, but only because he remembers the promise -- to himself... to her...

"I-... Well, I..." After holding a blink, he sighs and looks up to let those incredibly tired eyes rest on her face; he doesn't have it in him to hide the truth from her, "...Do you remember being here?"

It was one of the things she knew he would ask, and better to just get it out of the way at once. But just because she expected it did not mean it was any easier to answer, or any easier to see him look away from her. What she did see of his eyes spoke volumes, and though she had so many things to ask now, this was Luke's time. After all, she may as well have just seen him, but that wasn't the case for the young man, was it...?

So she breathes in once, still keeping her gaze focused on him even if he wasn't looking at her. "No, I'm afraid I don't. I have already spoken with a few others about having been here before... But I don't remember any of it."

Really, he was struggling more than he'd expected. Though, to say he'd expected anything that could be called a legitimate prediction? Well, it would have been better called an exaggeration. There was nothing that could have told him how he would feel upon seeing Tear or Guy a second time. Tear especially, all things considered. So... he'd been torn, honestly. Everything could have been postponed, just like with the last Tear he'd encountered.

That Tear had run off to be in the military not long after arriving.

It had felt a little like avoidance, but...he hadn't let his thoughts dwell too much on that. After all, it wasn't as though he'd done as much as he could have to reach out to her. Maybe a tiny part of him had been... doing the very thing a small part of him had been suspecting. He cut his thoughts off. Instead, he was listening to the current Tear's words, a thoughtful look appearing.

"You're probably another...version," he said with a very slight tilt of his head, unable to think of a better wording of that, "What's the last thing you remember doing on Auldrant?"

'Another version'... Being spoken to that way almost hurt, even though she knew that was far from Luke's intention. And in all honesty, the hurt probably wasn't even entirely his fault. It was her own sense of guilt for not being here, for not watching and for most of all, forgetting. The more rational part of her mind is quick to remind her that it is not her fault, but there was still that creeping cold in the furthest edges threatening to spread.

Not that she can't fight it back, especially with Luke steering the direction of the conversation so far. She can still answer questions easily. "As I already told Jade, I remember ascending the stairs to meet with Van in Eldrant. We were going to free Lorelei."

Even though she knows Jade, Anise, and Luke were all just a little further ahead in time and things would turn out in their favour because of it, there was still a small sense of frustration because they were so close... And most of all, Luke would...

Oh, he'd definitely feel terrible if he knew that hurt her feelings. But, he didn't see it as her forgetting. He really did see her as another version of Tear; the second one to come to that world.

Holding a blink, he listens to her words. She's from an earlier time than him, but a later time than the first Tear (that one had been from the night before Eldrant). He releases a soft sigh as he nods, "Got it... I'm from after that, but... it's been over a year, now, since I saw home. I arrived here about nine months ago with Gaara."

Green eyes shift to the side as he mentions that name. This is something he never got around to talking to Tear about, the last time. He'd waited, because it hadn't been something he just wanted to toss at her (not to mention the running off to the military thing that had happened). It's frustrating to be torn between telling her everything he never got to... and wanting to wait for a better time.

"There are some...things I need to tell you about. Whenever you have time to talk..."

"I have all the time you need right now. Luke, I'm not going anywhere." At least, not if she had something to say about it. It might not even be her choice, given what she heard had happened to her last self, but if she could stay and be here for him then she would do so with all her might.

Especially knowing how long it really has been for him. What was a few moments, a few hours compared to the time she hadn't been by his side like she had promised? And the way he looked away when he said that name... Something about it stirred in her a worry, an indescribable feeling that she locked away at once. Now wasn't the time, not until he was ready.

"If there's somewhere else you would rather discuss this, then let's go right away."

Ah, she...wanted to talk about it right then.

Jawline tightening just a little, he nodded. If that was the case, he wouldn't be the one to hold things up. Looking to the side, he his eyes landed on an area. With everything he planned to say, they'd need privacy; he refused to say any of it otherwise. After leading her over to the remotely secluded area, he leaned against the wall.

Arms folded over his chest as he stared down at the ground, a heavy exhale releasing, "It's been...over a year since I left Auldrant. I don't know how much more than a year. All I know is I spent two months in the world before this one... So eleven months, right there. The world before that one, I-..."

For a split second, his expression strained. A couple of seconds passed before he continued, a faintly dark look entering his eyes, "All I know is that I was there for what felt like a long time. After...coming back, I wasn't there too much longer. Anyway, I-... never saw any of you in the first two worlds. Gaara was...there for me. I felt so alone and-!"

Quickly, he worked to lower his tone. He hadn't meant to let his voice turn so unsteady, either, "Thinking about you guys... hurt. Even so, I still did... for a long time. Especially in the first world, where I was always praying you guys wouldn't show up. I'm...glad you never did. That place was-..." One hand trembled before he tightened it into a fist, and then continued, "That doesn't mean I didn't miss you guys more and more, every single day. I never stopped missing everyone... especially you."

A strained smile was given to her before he almost...guiltily looked down, "It took me a long time to be able to think about you, without feeling like every breath took way too much effort. I still care about you, Tear... I know for a fact that... I'll always love you, even if it's not-..."

... He couldn't finish that sentence for some reason; his body was tense as he pointedly avoided her gaze.

Tear didn't know what to expect when he brought her to the more private location, but it wasn't... this. The more Luke says the more she pales, biting down on her lip until it felt as though she would break through the skin. This isn't... what she wanted to hear. No, she did want to know, but to think of Luke being all alone for all this was upsetting. She didn't know what he saw, what he went through, what he might have been forced to do.

At some point during his explanation she had crossed her arms tightly around herself, as if trying to create a shield from the guilt she felt in her heart while her knuckles turned white beneath her gloves. When he utters those last words her breath stops, and she can't look up at him. Her gaze lowers to the ground, hair falling forward to obscure her own eyes from him. This way, he wouldn't see the confusion in them, or notice how hard she has to swallow to try and speak.

"Luke, I..." She knew what she wanted to say, but her mouth was so dry and her vision strangely blurred. Her own voice was barely above a whisper now, thinking about those words she wanted to say back to him. How long now has it been since she realised that she wanted to tell him? Once they returned to Auldrant she would only have one more opportunity to tell him, because after they won the battle... Who knew when she would see him again?

No. No, she didn't want to think like that, because he was here, just within her reach, alive and healthy. He was here, unable to look at her and wanting to say more. That's why she can't say anything, because he still wasn't finished. Although she knew what her feelings were, there was no way she could ignore the cold feeling spreading from her fingertips throughout her body, the sinking feeling in her stomach or the way she can't look up at him yet.

Whatever he was going to say, she wouldn't be able to respond to him with those words afterward, would she?

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open log!

I am the latest

LMFAO I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TAG YOU... with this, in fact

WELL AW YEAH IT WORKS?

...and is kinda sad... orz

these two already

no kidding... and sorry for the late!

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