"I'm not!" Oh, because that didn't sound defensive at all, Jack. "I just-" How can he even explain all of the everything that there is between him and the Doctor?
"He made me the man I am today. In every way you could think of. He showed me a better way to live my life, when I was squandering my talent on stupid cons that almost got a lot of people hurt. Showed me that I didn't deserve the power I was holding on to. Showed me something worth dying for. I died." He holds Kidd's gaze seriously. "I came back, the power of Time and Space and all the parts in between funneled into me, but I died."
"Was it for him, was it for Satellite Five, Earth, the Daleks? I still don't know. But it was the right thing to do."
There's a very long pause, almost as if Jack isn't going to keep talking, but then he alights and straightens his back. "And then he runs off! I died, came back, even I had no idea what was going on, or what I even was, and he runs from me!"
It's too late, it's all coming out now, Jack can't hold it in. "I spent the next century trying to do his job. Doing what he'd shown me how to do. Protect the Earth. With more or less success rates, but, hey, the planet was still standing, I had to have been doing something right. Even if it never worked out like it would have for him. But I was trying, damn it."
"So I know. He's not coming to pull my ass out of the fire. Because he doesn't. Sometimes he does, but most of the time, when you actually truly need him?" Jack closes his fist, and blows a breath into it, "Poof! He's nowhere to be found."
"I get it. Okay? He's not coming." The words are tinged with a tone of betrayal, and a feeling of utter solitude hits Jack like he wasn't expecting.
Re: Captain Jack Harkness
"He made me the man I am today. In every way you could think of. He showed me a better way to live my life, when I was squandering my talent on stupid cons that almost got a lot of people hurt. Showed me that I didn't deserve the power I was holding on to. Showed me something worth dying for. I died." He holds Kidd's gaze seriously. "I came back, the power of Time and Space and all the parts in between funneled into me, but I died."
"Was it for him, was it for Satellite Five, Earth, the Daleks? I still don't know. But it was the right thing to do."
There's a very long pause, almost as if Jack isn't going to keep talking, but then he alights and straightens his back. "And then he runs off! I died, came back, even I had no idea what was going on, or what I even was, and he runs from me!"
It's too late, it's all coming out now, Jack can't hold it in. "I spent the next century trying to do his job. Doing what he'd shown me how to do. Protect the Earth. With more or less success rates, but, hey, the planet was still standing, I had to have been doing something right. Even if it never worked out like it would have for him. But I was trying, damn it."
"So I know. He's not coming to pull my ass out of the fire. Because he doesn't. Sometimes he does, but most of the time, when you actually truly need him?" Jack closes his fist, and blows a breath into it, "Poof! He's nowhere to be found."
"I get it. Okay? He's not coming." The words are tinged with a tone of betrayal, and a feeling of utter solitude hits Jack like he wasn't expecting.