Everyone has something in their past they'd rather not talk about, and oftentimes they allow it to color every facet of their being.
I'd like to believe that even if you consider yourself dangerous, that doesn't mean there's nothing in you worth taking care of.
You are mistaken. I have murdered innocent people for my own gain, because I believed my master would grant me a soul and make me human. Complete. But I was... Hm.
[A small, self-deprecating chuckle.]
Somehow I knew she was lying. She had no intention of granting my wish. But I wanted it badly enough that I was willing to do anything she asked of me. Anarchy. Manipulation. Genocide. I felt no regret. Only lust for the one thing beyond my grasp. I am a homunculus...a creature borne of desperation, blood, and sacrifice. I am not human. You cannot hope to redeem me.
[Flynn pauses for a moment.]
I think there's been a misunderstanding here. It was never my intention to offer you redemption. My best friend is a bit similar to you, I think. He's done some terrible things. They may have been necessary, and they weren't things I would have done, but he had his reasons even if I cannot stand behind him. I can't even begin to imagine your circumstances, but from what I've learned about you, becoming human is very important to you, isn't it? It's something easy to take for granted.
I suppose... the question is, now that the carrot isn't dangling in front of you, do you intend on continuing down that path of anarchy, manipulation, and genocide?
[She meets his stare for a long moment, offering only silence as a reply. Finally, she answers him with a question of her own.]
What do you think I will do?
[Because the truth is, she doesn't know. No one else has made that kind of pact with her, or offered her any chance of becoming human. For now, she's content to find her own path, as she has the capability of doing this in a way she couldn't before. But that doesn't mean she won't change her mind if a deal too good to pass up is presented to her.]
[Lust presses her fingertips lightly against the ourobouros tattoo above her breasts.]
As you can see, I am mortal in this world, but not human. The desire to be whole is still there.
Hmm.
[Flynn thinks for a moment. It's not an answer he would give lightly without any thought.]
I can't say that I know you well enough to be able to ascertain what you'd do in almost any situation. May I ask, though... What is it that you consider humans having that you don't?
[She studies his face silently for many long moments before she answers.]
The ability to feel compassion, and to be kind. Being able to feel joy. Sorrow. Love. Even to have a conscience. He said the woman I was...she was supposed to be kind. They'd loved her. That's why they tried to bring her back to life. Sometimes I have flashes of her memories.
[Lust closes her eyes.]
When I feel the things she felt, then I will know I have become human.
* * * * *
Look, you don't gotta be a bleeding heart, saint-type to risk yourself for someone else. Some people are just worth sacrificing for. You just know it, that they're better than you are, and that they deserve happiness. You don't have to think about what you're doing or what you're risking, because you know, instinctively, that if they were gone, there'd be no point in you still being alive.
If you gotta ask, then you don't have a person like that. And you'll know it if you find one. So until then, don't fucking worry about it. We've already got enough shit to deal with without wasting time on psychological musing.
* * * * *
Regardless of what sort of experience death is here, I don't wish it upon anyone and that includes you. It still means you'll pass and I can't let you do that to yourself. There are many ways to solve the problem with the right solutions. I'd rather make the effort than none at all. Mercy Killing doesn't seem appropriate for this situation.
Easy for you to say. If you suffered these symptoms, I believe you might reconsider.
I honestly don't think I'll change my mind even if I were in your situation to be honest. If there's a will there's a way. I'm always prepared to fight the odds when it is necessary.
* * * * *
Darres was particularly concerned because this wasn't the disposition she exuded before when they first met. Without hesitating he offered his hand, figuratively.
"What's wrong?"
Lust pulled her head back, apprehension written all over her face. "What a thing to ask. How do you expect this conversation to go?" She held up one hand, the other settled on the bell of her hip. "Do you think I'll tearfully confess all of my frustrations and confide in you as if you were a dear friend? I sincerely hope not." Her lifted hand dropped as she shook her head in disdain.
Not caring for her rudeness, she turned her back on him, loosely holding her elbows as she sauntered away with queenly arrogance. "You were useful to me before, but I need nothing now. Don't mistake my interest as anything more than academic."
How could one city be filled with so many people like him? He had no right to express so much concern for a creature only interested in using him to test her Corruption power. That kindness and compassion was better wasted on some other simpering beauty who would doubtless be swept off her feet.
He listened to her patiently. The tall knight partially pivoted, to allow her more space and a less direct stance. More so for his own comfort since he wasn't the assertive type.
"I only asked out of concern." He confessed softly. Sure, there was currently nothing beneficial that could come of this to him, but he wasn't someone who sough profit to begin with. Darres was far too generous for that.
"You can take it as you like, but I'm here if you need help." Darres didn't know anything about her, and he would have liked to learn, but it also wasn't his business. Nevertheless he at least wanted to make sure she realized that he was an outlet. A resource. That she didn't always have to resort to her own means.
* * * * *
...You recall the man with the eyepatch named Badou, don't you? Have you seen him?
No, I have yet to find anyone since the incident, outside of those who I am close with. They have all found me or I have found them. I'm sorry I can't be more help.
[She's quiet for a moment.]
If you don't know, then I have my answer. Thank you.
... I see.
Don't look so glum, Mikleo. From the very beginning we knew many of us would not survive the ordeals presented to us. It's not surprising that we should lose a few more.
Yes, that is true. We have already known that there are things that happen out of our control and we can't save everyone, much less protect them all. It's still frustrating to think about.
Then don't think about it~ We'll never get anywhere if we only dwell on our failings. And there's much to be done.
It's not that easy, you know?
* * * * *
"A soul. Not just any soul, but your soul." Jack points at Lust's hand. "Using the Stone to get back what's yours? Not a problem at all. I've known people that have lost their humanity and then relished in it. Or thought that doing as much harm to other people as possible was the way to get it back. Or thought that they became something greater and then had to steal away what they could from other people to make them the same. It's all just a way to justify their existence."
Jack nods. "This is the same. But without taking from somebody else. So okay. Count me in, then." Jack grins devilishly.
*************************************
The shaking in Lust's hands turned into a violent shudder that ran through her whole body as her internal conflict turned into all-out war in her mind. To be human. To possess humanity. Were they different? Were they the same? Was either truly within her grasp?
Why could she not agree to the blue-haired girl's offer?
The answer struck her hard, like a fist to the gut. Because it was not the path that led to humanity. Choose to be human, and you will never be. And she couldn't shake the awful, stomach-souring idea of seeing Mikleo, Flynn, or even Lydia and Badou look at her with that kind of pity and disappointment.
Suddenly Lust's eyes rolled back, and the tension that had kept her upright all this time left her. She crumpled to the grass.
2/2
Everyone has something in their past they'd rather not talk about, and oftentimes they allow it to color every facet of their being.
I'd like to believe that even if you consider yourself dangerous, that doesn't mean there's nothing in you worth taking care of.
You are mistaken. I have murdered innocent people for my own gain, because I believed my master would grant me a soul and make me human. Complete. But I was... Hm.
[A small, self-deprecating chuckle.]
Somehow I knew she was lying. She had no intention of granting my wish. But I wanted it badly enough that I was willing to do anything she asked of me. Anarchy. Manipulation. Genocide. I felt no regret. Only lust for the one thing beyond my grasp. I am a homunculus...a creature borne of desperation, blood, and sacrifice. I am not human. You cannot hope to redeem me.
[Flynn pauses for a moment.]
I think there's been a misunderstanding here. It was never my intention to offer you redemption. My best friend is a bit similar to you, I think. He's done some terrible things. They may have been necessary, and they weren't things I would have done, but he had his reasons even if I cannot stand behind him. I can't even begin to imagine your circumstances, but from what I've learned about you, becoming human is very important to you, isn't it? It's something easy to take for granted.
I suppose... the question is, now that the carrot isn't dangling in front of you, do you intend on continuing down that path of anarchy, manipulation, and genocide?
[She meets his stare for a long moment, offering only silence as a reply. Finally, she answers him with a question of her own.]
What do you think I will do?
[Because the truth is, she doesn't know. No one else has made that kind of pact with her, or offered her any chance of becoming human. For now, she's content to find her own path, as she has the capability of doing this in a way she couldn't before. But that doesn't mean she won't change her mind if a deal too good to pass up is presented to her.]
[Lust presses her fingertips lightly against the ourobouros tattoo above her breasts.]
As you can see, I am mortal in this world, but not human. The desire to be whole is still there.
Hmm.
[Flynn thinks for a moment. It's not an answer he would give lightly without any thought.]
I can't say that I know you well enough to be able to ascertain what you'd do in almost any situation. May I ask, though... What is it that you consider humans having that you don't?
[She studies his face silently for many long moments before she answers.]
The ability to feel compassion, and to be kind. Being able to feel joy. Sorrow. Love. Even to have a conscience. He said the woman I was...she was supposed to be kind. They'd loved her. That's why they tried to bring her back to life. Sometimes I have flashes of her memories.
[Lust closes her eyes.]
When I feel the things she felt, then I will know I have become human.
* * * * *
Look, you don't gotta be a bleeding heart, saint-type to risk yourself for someone else. Some people are just worth sacrificing for. You just know it, that they're better than you are, and that they deserve happiness. You don't have to think about what you're doing or what you're risking, because you know, instinctively, that if they were gone, there'd be no point in you still being alive.
If you gotta ask, then you don't have a person like that. And you'll know it if you find one. So until then, don't fucking worry about it. We've already got enough shit to deal with without wasting time on psychological musing.
* * * * *
Regardless of what sort of experience death is here, I don't wish it upon anyone and that includes you. It still means you'll pass and I can't let you do that to yourself. There are many ways to solve the problem with the right solutions. I'd rather make the effort than none at all. Mercy Killing doesn't seem appropriate for this situation.
Easy for you to say. If you suffered these symptoms, I believe you might reconsider.
I honestly don't think I'll change my mind even if I were in your situation to be honest. If there's a will there's a way. I'm always prepared to fight the odds when it is necessary.
* * * * *
Darres was particularly concerned because this wasn't the disposition she exuded before when they first met. Without hesitating he offered his hand, figuratively.
"What's wrong?"
Lust pulled her head back, apprehension written all over her face. "What a thing to ask. How do you expect this conversation to go?" She held up one hand, the other settled on the bell of her hip. "Do you think I'll tearfully confess all of my frustrations and confide in you as if you were a dear friend? I sincerely hope not." Her lifted hand dropped as she shook her head in disdain.
Not caring for her rudeness, she turned her back on him, loosely holding her elbows as she sauntered away with queenly arrogance. "You were useful to me before, but I need nothing now. Don't mistake my interest as anything more than academic."
How could one city be filled with so many people like him? He had no right to express so much concern for a creature only interested in using him to test her Corruption power. That kindness and compassion was better wasted on some other simpering beauty who would doubtless be swept off her feet.
He listened to her patiently. The tall knight partially pivoted, to allow her more space and a less direct stance. More so for his own comfort since he wasn't the assertive type.
"I only asked out of concern." He confessed softly. Sure, there was currently nothing beneficial that could come of this to him, but he wasn't someone who sough profit to begin with. Darres was far too generous for that.
"You can take it as you like, but I'm here if you need help." Darres didn't know anything about her, and he would have liked to learn, but it also wasn't his business. Nevertheless he at least wanted to make sure she realized that he was an outlet. A resource. That she didn't always have to resort to her own means.
* * * * *
...You recall the man with the eyepatch named Badou, don't you? Have you seen him?
No, I have yet to find anyone since the incident, outside of those who I am close with. They have all found me or I have found them. I'm sorry I can't be more help.
[She's quiet for a moment.]
If you don't know, then I have my answer. Thank you.
... I see.
Don't look so glum, Mikleo. From the very beginning we knew many of us would not survive the ordeals presented to us. It's not surprising that we should lose a few more.
Yes, that is true. We have already known that there are things that happen out of our control and we can't save everyone, much less protect them all. It's still frustrating to think about.
Then don't think about it~ We'll never get anywhere if we only dwell on our failings. And there's much to be done.
It's not that easy, you know?
* * * * *
"A soul. Not just any soul, but your soul." Jack points at Lust's hand. "Using the Stone to get back what's yours? Not a problem at all. I've known people that have lost their humanity and then relished in it. Or thought that doing as much harm to other people as possible was the way to get it back. Or thought that they became something greater and then had to steal away what they could from other people to make them the same. It's all just a way to justify their existence."
Jack nods. "This is the same. But without taking from somebody else. So okay. Count me in, then." Jack grins devilishly.
*************************************
The shaking in Lust's hands turned into a violent shudder that ran through her whole body as her internal conflict turned into all-out war in her mind. To be human. To possess humanity. Were they different? Were they the same? Was either truly within her grasp?
Why could she not agree to the blue-haired girl's offer?
The answer struck her hard, like a fist to the gut. Because it was not the path that led to humanity. Choose to be human, and you will never be. And she couldn't shake the awful, stomach-souring idea of seeing Mikleo, Flynn, or even Lydia and Badou look at her with that kind of pity and disappointment.
Suddenly Lust's eyes rolled back, and the tension that had kept her upright all this time left her. She crumpled to the grass.