melodiesoflife | Taking responsibility [Semi-Open]

Entry tags:

Taking responsibility [Semi-Open]

Characters: Vincent, Sephiroth, others [Mostly Open; Refer to the top-level Prompts]
Where: Hospital, Aquares Ixen
When: 9th-14th September
Summary: Some aftermath of the fallout from Sephiroth grieving over Terra being in Crystal Stasis. Vincent helped disable Seph, and is now keeping an eye on him. Some people might want to have words with him about how he did so. In between guarding a Weapon for a few shifts...
Warning: Language maybe? Potential angst?

Sept 11th-13th at various times.
Vincent is one of those who is guarding the Ultima WEAPON'S wreckage. These are the only times he won't be found at the Hospital, keeping a guard over Sephiroth. If you want to interact with him, see here.

Sept. 9th-12th

Vincent will stay out of the way of the healers, but otherwise stay in the hospital and keep an eye on Sephiroth as he sleeps off both the post-Job exhaustion and the sleep status. Making sure the silver-haired SOLDIER is healing well, and not being bothered unduly. Occasionally Vincent will head to the Crystal Stasis wing, visiting those among his friends who are there. Ophelia can also be found bringing him a bag with a change of clothes, and a book or two.

He's unlikely to talk in the same room Sephiroth is resting in, but feel free to come check on the SOLDIER, or yell at Vincent, or check on Vincent.

Sept 13th--Closed to Sephiroth
Vincent has spent the past few days keeping watch over and not quite playing guard for Sephiroth, mostly so that when the other does wake--he can apologize. Also to keep others from overwhelming the silver-haired soldier right away. Sadly, Vincent understands heartbreak; he also knows Seph well enough to have some idea of how, hopefully, to help the other start healing.

September 13th, OPEN

Since part of Vincent's assumed role has been gatekeeper for a very private and recovering SOLDIER, he'll be keeping an eye out to ensure the other doesn't get tired, when others DO come to visit him. This is the prompt to use for visiting Sephiroth--and if you want to do so privately, Vincent can wait outside the door.

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Ales followed the direction Sephiroth was facing. Terra. It was a mystery how one person could affect a seasoned soldier so much. He couldn't let things like relationships get in the way of work or cloud his judgement. If anything, Ales prided himself in learning this lesson before Sephiroth. It was one way to keep his self-worth elevated: there was always something he was better at.

"That's why I'm getting more involved. No more sitting back and reading for me. I'm going to live up to the legend and find a way to stop this cycle."

It came down to a simple fact. Sephiroth hadn't been in such an environment, which might cause such relationships to form, ever before in his lifetime. Even when he had gained for himself what he'd come to treasure as his own independence, there were a mountain of other things for him to concern himself with; missions, training, reports, PR, training. Girls just weren't immediately there at the front of such a mind set which had been basically all-career.

Maybe it might be easier to go forwards if he just accepted Terra as a beautiful mistake? The hollow chasm he felt inside of him would fade out of attention, eventually.

"I'll admit, that motivation dried up a long time ago. Too many sleepless nights at the beginning with my head full of nothing but ignorant thoughts." It was clear from Sephiroth's tone that it wasn't a very comfortable admission. He had joined the military at Esdham, in pursuit of learning more and dedicating himself in the right direction but especially now that Hera wasn't a threat any more he often questioned his role there. Sure, given the identity of the President but how the wayward Queen of Aqures Ixen really factored into all of this was still very much a mystery.

"It's all very well finding a way when we still don't seem to be able to see more than a few feet in front of our own hands."

Sephiroth fought to keep his voice low and as private as possible but the message was as clear as he could make it. Give him a purpose, give him a mission and Sephiroth would excel in most things; ask for him to find it for himself, however...

Good thing Vincent was aware that Sephiroth was stubborn.

"So, even if they're doomed, you'll just give them up now?" Even if the other man wouldn't listen yet, hopefully Vincent was giving him things to think about for later. Reminding him there was more than just the moment to worry about. More than just this immediate loss.

"No one blames you for grieving over your loss." Quiet again, and the first time he'd addressed Terra's loss as a 'serious' issue, not as a tantrum. "Grief is painful, and its own kind of madness. But you can't let it consume you."

Bowing his head, finally letting Sephiroth have a break from Vincent's study. "It's a hard lesson, and I know it well. I've made the mistake of doing nothing before, and of giving up. Ultimately, it does nothing to help one's pain and only breeds more."

"Don't be sorry," she folded her arms, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I should be trying to get stronger so I can protect him myself. He's already an amazing warrior, so he might not even need me. But...I don't know...I still want to repay him for all of his help."

That was about as much as she was comfortable sharing for the moment. She glanced up at Vincent, listening as he spoke. It seemed there was a lot he wanted to discuss, but perhaps he just worried that he didn't want to burden anyone else. It was hard to say. But, like everything else worth learning, all she had to do was ask.

"...What happened? I don't mind listening. Doesn't seem like there's anyone else around to eavesdrop anyway."

If anything, Sephiroth's long silences spoke volumes. As Vincent knew he's not very much a conversationalist but when it came to listening, to really taking things in, no matter how he wanted to close himself away his natural thirst for knowledge overrode that somewhat. It's what he did with that information, when it had time to percolate deeper into his thought processes, which would define him going forwards from this point.

He'd made a very sharp point in not meeting with Vincent's eye contact, at all though. Something inside his chest still quivered under the potential pressure that others' judgment might make him feel again. Sephiroth had felt, for a long time, that he was a shadow of the man that he'd come in as and how he was left feeling -utterly destroyed- in the wake of his loss was only further proving it to himself. He'd let himself become weak, and he was starting to hate it.

"I shouldn't have allowed myself to get into this position, in the first place." He eventually made a comment, lowly, but the sincerity -the absolute honesty- with which he spoke that statement might seem haunting; and more than a little inhuman. Indeed, Sephiroth was already in the process of trying to deaden those nerves. To mute that emotion that was more raw still than even the fresh scarring he would have to now nurse.

"I don't understand it...how I managed to set myself up for this fall."

Edited (typoooo) 2016-10-23 21:55 (UTC)

A slow blink, and Vincent tilted his head a moment as he regarded her. "Does Ramza have any idea of your feelings?" Quietly voiced--as she said, it was unlike anyone was around to overhear.

Shaking his head slightly. "Another time, we can swap stories. For now I'm trying to dwell on the present, than the past." But he was willing to share--which was new and progress. "I do not know him well, but I doubt Ramza thinks there is anything you need to repay him for."

Rialynn was silent. Ordinarily she might have blushed or wildly denied harboring any sort of romantic feelings for anyone. Instead her gaze just dropped slightly, and there was a slightly guilty hunch to her shoulders. "...It doesn't really matter."

What she felt, if it really was love, meant nothing if he didn't see her that way. And she wasn't even sure she wanted him to fall in love with her. What would she even do? The world was going to end, and even if it didn't, he belonged with his sister, living freely without attachments.

It was a sign that she shouldn't press Vincent for more details either, she was sure. "The fact that he thinks like that is why I need to repay him. He does so much for everyone. I don't think I've ever heard him ask for anything." She shook her head, still avoiding his quiet scarlet gaze. "I owe him."

Vincent let her speak, listening attentively and observing her while she spoke. He did avert his gaze, so she wasn't quite being so scrutinized. "I understand very well how you feel, if it makes any difference." Sincerity in his voice. No judgement, but that understanding and a hint of camaraderie if she wished to take advantage of it.

Her words told him more than enough about how she felt.

"Even if there is nothing you feel you can obviously do for him, then simply being there for him will be enough for him. From what I can tell anyways." A one-shouldered shrug.

A longer pause, then he tilted his head down and hid a bit more in his cowl. "It clearly matters to you, and if you wish to ever speak, I will listen." A bit awkward obviously, but still offered genuinely for her.

"I do." Vincent responded, dropping the 'at-ease' position since it was clear that it didn't matter. "You're more than just a soldier." Letting that hang in the air.

"Despite what others wanted you to be, you're more than simply a weapon, a soldier. For better or worse, you're human." More human here on Crystallis than he ever had been on Gaia. Much like Vincent was now; no longer a failed experiment, but human.

Ales took his hands out of his pockets and let them swing by his sides. He knew that saving the world was more difficult that it should have been. Palitutu hiding information, the Sage hiding information, everyone hiding information. If he took over Aqures Ixen in memory of Ellie, he'd change that. Give all guardians of the world a history lesson, and they would be set. Keeping heroes in the dark would only lead to a situation similar to the Glade.

"I would say more to that, but now isn't the best time." He would tell Sephiroth about Downopolis later. Secret plans. "And I had enough of wallowing in self-pity. Ellie wouldn't like it I wasted my time moping about."

Human.

Sephiroth closed his eyes and kept them closed for a long moment as Vincent's words struck home. It couldn't easily be seen between the light of the room and the way he'd kept his head inclined but that statement meant more than simple words could have delivered, eyelids shook a little in resistance to the tears that would come after that swell of emotion; he wanted to be done with it already, his eyes already stung.

So there it was, the reason for all of this weakness? The fact that he wasn't all that monster that Genesis had declared him to be, not at all that villain that haunts in the back of his mind ever since he became enlightened to what his future held...furthermore, the proof of that...had been in Terra?

"So it's in the nature of being human, to open oneself up for this? To make connections that only turn around and stab you as deeply as you valued it? I have been betrayed before, Vincent...but it wasn't like this."

"Hm."

At least he were still sharp-minded enough to take Ales' meaning, it seemed obvious to him that there was something of a 'plan' afoot and Ales would very much like his advice if not his direct input for it. All things to be discussed later.

"I should perhaps take a leaf out of your book, Ales. I'm exhausted of it, yet seem to be stuck in a pit at the same time."

Sephiroth glanced once more from Ales to the crystal form of Terra before turning most of his back to the doorway. He'd turn away now, and get on with whatever the path before him might throw up next. He'd deal with it alone, but with the strength that he needed to overcome whatever obstacles might be put in his way. He owed it to himself, and to everything that special girl believed in him.

Maybe. His resolve was anything but the strong tower he wanted to will it to be currently.

Vincent moved the chair, then sat down once more. Since it now seemed as if Sephiroth was likely to listen, and they could actually talk, there was no need in his mind to keep standing. It really wasn't meant to be a lecture, despite how it might appear.

"It's in the nature of humanity to feel and experience emotions, to seek connections with other humans to help us make sense and survive life. Life itself and the nature of existence is entropy, harsh and cold--and so we seek out warmth, connection, others to share things with as balm against the hardship." Softly, trying to offer hope--it wasn't always bleak, even if it often seemed so. Vincent himself had often been far more pessimistic and cynical in his life; yet never quite extinguished a tiny spark of romantic and optimistic hope.

"I've been betrayed too, Sephiroth." Stated with genuine sympathy and no pity. A fact. "This one hurts though, and feels different, as romantic grief is different than others in its intensity." He made no move to replace his gauntlet, instead examining the scarred and weakened hand. "To love someone is madness. To be loved by someone is a gift. Loving someone you love is a duty, but being loved by someone you love is life."

[Ellana simply nods once. A mage she might be, but she was used to being practically invisible when she was not forced into the spotlight. It was a perk of being an elven "savage" in her own world. The ears do not miss much.]

Especially lately, after our month-long absence. One would almost wonder if they had forgotten what antics others of our member get themselves into.

[...Especially when she was a couple floors up at the time of the sleep bullet shot.]

Mary paused as she entered the room, glancing about and taking it all in. It was as much to give Sephiroth a chance to see her as it was for her to assess him. Given their last encounters she wasn't sure how he'd react to her, nor how his recovery was going. A frown ticked briefly across her face as she laid eyes on him. She was learning more and more she didn't know what was going through his mind, but their friendship and association were at least such that she could make a guess based on his past actions.

She recognized the tired and drawn look of a man of action who had been confined to bed longer than he wanted and yet for his own good. The way the arm was taped down and the way his muscles had tensed were at odds with the bags under his eyes and the pale look on his face. Clearly he was fighting the sleep his body knew he needed.

"Ahoy there. Was wonderin' if I could speak with you, if you're willing."

(ooc: I swore I replied to this already...and then I accidentally closed the tab mid reply)

The strong wall of impenetrable soldier that he'd very much been conditioned into being was indeed crumbling before Vincent's eyes. He'd been so ready for those old self-preservative habits of his to set back into place; how it was easier to rely only on yourself, how he'd be stronger if he closed himself off and just focused on the next mission, the next goal...making himself unfeeling, eventually, to the plights of others going on around him. It was a comfortable detachment, and one that Sephiroth had grown used to.

But off the back of Vincent's words, it just wasn't sticking anymore. The long silver braid which had been set against his healthy shoulder dropped back behind him as he shifted on the bed a bit more. The conversation was threatening to touch at the not-quite settled pool of emotions within him again and as a result the often too-stern SOLDIER seemed almost scared as he listened.

"Is that really what you think life is-" He still kept the detachment in his tone, clinging to it as he didn't trust how else he might sound. How his reddened eyes already had started to moisten again, unnoticed by himself, uncontrolled. It made it a little easier, as Vincent drew all attention to the near-enough grotesque mess of flesh that was his ungloved hand. Sephiroth was curious, but a larger part of him felt awkward in that he already knew how Vincent was relating this circumstance.

"I've not ever needed such companionship. Whether it be honest friendship, with others, or if it was romance that I felt with Terra." He couldn't help but narrow his eyes again as he still chewed internally over the concept. Romance wasn't a strong enough word, he thought.

"Yet I've always managed to come through hardships...to carry on regardless. It's a strength that I seem to have misplaced."

(ooc: No worries at all!)

Even if he hadn't know Mary's profession and practiced art of being an assassin, the very fact that she had been one of the ones who had tried to stop him a few days ago would have added tension to any atmosphere. She'd intervened, to stop him from trying to break Terra's crystal with his bare hands and now at least for the most part that madness had been slept back into dormancy, if anything he felt foolish beyond compare for being seen in that way.

She'd been there before as well, when he'd been a drunken wreck on a street corner over something of a related issue too. How could he ever forget?

Sephiroth shifted once more in his seated position, drawing a long breath as the reduced muscle mass in the back of his shot shoulder threatened to tense up into a less bearable level of pain. Like a stitch of a feeling he tried to roll with it, looked away across the room a moment -intentionally or not, showing Mary a respectable level of trust- before answering her.

"It's not one of my strengths but-" Finally he seemed to lean himself back again, breathe a little easier.

"-sure."

"And you will come through this one as well, Sephiroth." Faith in the soft tones. "You have strength, even if it's only temporary strength gained by leaning on those who care about you, until your own is shorn up again."

Letting that hang in the air for a bit between them, hopefully a more comfortable silence than they'd had previously. "It's a hard lesson to learn. I'm stumbling through it myself still." Vincent let out a sigh with the weight of all his years behind it belied by his young looks. "...others can be there with you though, without crowding or having one lose oneself. It makes burdens lighter and more bearable."

[Then she likely was aware of at least some of the rumors of what had transpired. Ellana would likely have no trouble figuring out, having fought alongside Vincent in the trip to her realm, what had happened.]

Little wonder that Heroes of Light are not always regarded as a blessing. We're hardly a unified group, nor do we act like saviors at times.

[Don't mind Mr. Cynical...]

Just "at times"?

[She grins a little bit, obviously teasing the cynical one.]

That is what happens after a group from all walks of life suddenly "appear out of nowhere". A few more colorful souls are bound to filter in.

[Probably a polite way of putting it, but still.]

Initially, Sephiroth's expression dropped into more of a frown again at Vincent mentioning the temporary strength of others that he was leaning on. He disliked feeling dependent, on anyone, even if the support were there regardless of if he wanted it to be or not. He should be strong enough to stand on his own two feet, else what was the point in existing at all.

In the silence that followed a single tear broke the bottom barrier of one of his eyelids, but invisibly ran down the edge of his face, being hidden by one of his bangs. It was a lesson, indeed, one that Sephiroth wasn't sure he wanted to pay attention to still. He wanted his pain to end up dulled and shoved away somewhere inside of him to be forgotten, not constantly behind the eyes of those that would call themselves friends.

"For a time, perhaps." Again, with the eye-closing in an attempt not to let his emotions boil over. He didn't used to be anywhere near this sensitive and somehow he needed to find his way back to that.

"I'm not sure if I can take the turn around again."

"Oh, that's not going to be a problem," she said quickly, jerking her head up. "I just...ugh." Her hands rose, hovered uselessly in the air, then dropped back to her sides. "I just don't think romance is the right thing for either of us. The timing is all off, there's so much to do in this world...and it would definitely compromise my ability to perform songs and ballads without tainting them with my own emotional bias."

That being said, her gaze returned to her boots. "That's all there really is to discuss. But thanks for offering to listen anyway." Maybe she was still in denial, but honestly? Good. This world was complicated enough as it stood, the last thing either of them needed was more personal drama.

"I just want to be his friend. That's all."

Vincent wasn't sure if he should push--since it seemed like Rialynn was protesting a little much--or let it lie for now. A few heartbeats, before he nodded. "I suspect he considers you that already." Reassuring--and it was odd to Vincent. Not used to having friends himself, although he was learning.

"Did you want to start learning about the language of flowers?" Moving away from the wall, willing to show her those he'd lain at the feet of friend's statues. His own way of remembering, even if it was hard.

[Hey, he kept a straight face for it, and he's doing so now too.]

You're being polite in description obviously.

[Dry sarcasm there. Not that he disagrees at all.]

It's amazing anything productive gets done sometimes, but it HAS happened.

Vincent was sure to give Sephiroth full attention, listening and letting him take his own pace. Including pausing to let himself turn over Sephiroth's last statement. "I believe you can." Softly, measured and clear that Vincent was thinking at least a little out-loud. "But only if you recognize that you're not alone. You're allowed, encouraged, to make connections."

"One of the advantages, to having friends... Even if one is usually more of a loner, having a few friends still helps. It allows one to be stronger, to weather hardships. If one only faces things alone--they keep piling on, until one breaks." Letting crimson-eyes slide over, studying the soldier's profile. "I would rather you didn't break. Not because of fear of what you'd become, because you--yourself, as you are--are worth knowing and being a companion to."

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Page 4 of 5

Taking responsibility [Semi-Open]

September 13th [Ales & Vincent]

September 13th [Ales & Vincent]

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Stories will def. come, but in a dif. log mebbe?

Sounds good to me!

He's slowly learning how to have 'friends' again--so Rialynn is welcome to become one of those.

finally tag, wasn't sure what else to write.

September 13th [Ales & Vincent]

it's fine, perfect even >.<

September 13th [Ales & Vincent]

Not my quote re: love, admittedly.

Re: September 12th (forever late)

Re: Sept 13

<3

Re: Sept 13

Re: <3

Re: September 12th (forever late)

Re: September 12th (forever late)

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How about a nice scholar instead? C_C

Shush, she's a friend.

Re: September 12th (forever late)

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