In the room full of people, everything seems almost suffocating but at the same time it was better to be around those you care about. Except a part of him was always worried about this happening. What if he was unable to control those other feelings that he kept to himself. What would happen to those around him. Mikleo was speechless at the way his other self was behaving but it was all a reflection of what was in his heart. He knew that, yet accepting it was complicated. It wasn't simply about saying "yes," and letting things run their course.
It was the matter of saying "yes," and going through with it 100%. Right now he was not 100%. He was worried that he'd lose to his own emotions and his friends would suffer for him. Especially, those that have already been hurt because of him. Sure it wasn't his fault but it's not like Mikleo would let it go. Lust had gotten hurt protecting him because he was careless. Under some unknown force, he had hurt Hisui unintentionally. The worst part was remembering everything he did as if it was yesterday.
He almost stumbled back at the surfacing thoughts. His throat felt dry. He had to say something. He had to reassure them that things were going to be okay. Sorey was here, right? He didn't have to feel like he was missing a part of himself... right?.
"..."
"What if I hurt someone again? What if someone else gets hurt...Lust-- and Hisui weren't the only ones. The child-- we couldn't--"
"Yeah," Mikleo closed his eyes, balling his hands into fists, "Back then-- when we tried to save that town, we couldn't. There weren't enough resources. We couldn't do anything but watch everything fall apart."
Facing everything head on right? He shouldn't hesitate. He knew that none of his friends would let him do this alone. Even saying those words didn't truly mean that he wanted that. It's not about leaving. It's something much heavier.
"It's not whether I want to do this alone or not. I'm--"
"Scared."
Just like that the other version of himself spoke the words for him. Scared. No one knows what the future will bring. Even now, as much as he wants to be optimistic, Crystallis was falling apart.
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It was the matter of saying "yes," and going through with it 100%. Right now he was not 100%. He was worried that he'd lose to his own emotions and his friends would suffer for him. Especially, those that have already been hurt because of him. Sure it wasn't his fault but it's not like Mikleo would let it go. Lust had gotten hurt protecting him because he was careless. Under some unknown force, he had hurt Hisui unintentionally. The worst part was remembering everything he did as if it was yesterday.
He almost stumbled back at the surfacing thoughts. His throat felt dry. He had to say something. He had to reassure them that things were going to be okay. Sorey was here, right? He didn't have to feel like he was missing a part of himself... right?.
"..."
"What if I hurt someone again? What if someone else gets hurt...Lust-- and Hisui weren't the only ones. The child-- we couldn't--"
"Yeah," Mikleo closed his eyes, balling his hands into fists, "Back then-- when we tried to save that town, we couldn't. There weren't enough resources. We couldn't do anything but watch everything fall apart."
Facing everything head on right? He shouldn't hesitate. He knew that none of his friends would let him do this alone. Even saying those words didn't truly mean that he wanted that. It's not about leaving. It's something much heavier.
"It's not whether I want to do this alone or not. I'm--"
"Scared."
Just like that the other version of himself spoke the words for him. Scared. No one knows what the future will bring. Even now, as much as he wants to be optimistic, Crystallis was falling apart.