[Ker-WHAM! And knocking open the door with his foot is Deadpool, set up as a... Santa/Ninja job combo?]

Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas! Your old friend Waddy Claus has returned at last! I may not be able to give everyone their game-breaking power ups, BUT I have plenty of coal and some chimichangas to give away! And chimichangas are greatest form of friendship. Death Battle-tested, Pinkie Pie approved!

[...what.]