melodiesoflife | #18 | Checking in at Fairy Tail

[There's not much of a reception area to speak of in the Fairy Tail building, so much as a small entrance area with an archway above it that opens up into the guild hall proper. Once inside, there are a few long tables with benches set up, giving the place the look of a mead hall rather than a gathering spot for wizards. There are a few doors leading off to side rooms, and a staircase leading up to the second floor where there are numerous bookshelves lining the walls.

A bulletin board can be seen at the end of the hall, largely empty but with a few things recently pinned to it. And behind the bar at the far end of the hall sits Levy, hair pulled back and wearing a pair of red rimmed glasses as she reads through a dense tome at lightning speed. After a moment, though, she hears Sephiroth's approach and looks up with a smile.]

Hey! What brings you here? Looking for Cloud?

[It's easy enough to find his way through that archway into the guild hall proper. Sephiroth pauses for a moment as he takes in the long benches, it's a little similar in the layout to what he's used to seeing sometimes in Esdham's mess hall during the busiest lunch shifts.

As he approaches the bar at the far end, having considered visiting the bulletin board first on route but then figured it's much more polite to at least announce himself first. Sephiroth politely nods at Levy, flashing a quick smile, to acknowledge her question. He isn't sure how he feels about it being that obvious, though.]

If he's around, yes. But-

[The way that he pauses to look around again reflects curiosity for the most part; he hasn't been in here very often at all.]

-I thought it might be a good idea to catch up on Fairy Tail's recent activities, as well.

He usually checks in on his way home from work. If you wait around, you'll probably catch him.

[Levy smiles as he approaches - closing her book, setting her glasses to the side, and taking out her hair tie before shaking her head to let it fluff back out.]

We've actually been busier than ever, even though membership is down. Kaji hired us to help with the hunt for the remaining Black Crystals. That one's sort of on standby until we figure out a good way to track them. And there's a job from Lust to either find or create a Philosopher's Stone. I've got a lead, but it's gotta wait for some other things to happen first too.

[Ah, yes. Of course. Cloud might not have come back from a shift at the Chocobo farm yet. Easy to forget that the young man often gets up even earlier than he does to get out to work. That is, if he's still holding that job; it's not like Sephiroth's kept that close of an eye on Cloud's comings-and-goings, at all.

At the very least he should make his visit worthwhile, in the meantime, then. He resets his attention from recalling things about Cloud, into listening to Levy as she recounts what has recently been taken on by her Guild.]

Ah, so that's where he went with it. [A small smile, just to communicate that he didn't mean it harshly] I wondered what had happened about those Crystals after the small meeting at the labs. Was there anything theoretical about the strange magnetism moogles can cause them to have?

[Not that he's ignoring the mention of that second job, only he's spoken to Lust less than a handful of times and hasn't any inherent knowledge that goes by the name of that particular alchemical item.]

You want a drink while we talk? I don't really know anything about mixing them, but I can manage pouring a beer.

[He may not be a guild member, but it's important to be hospitable.]

I'm not sure. I'm honestly kind of stumped on that one too. I mean, I guess we could use moogles as a sort of living radar to track the rest of them down, but it'd be nice if there was an easier way.

I'll just take a glass of water. [He nods, yea; he's sure of that.]

[And he'll wait patiently, simmering his thoughts only until she gets back. Sephiroth's even happy standing up against the bar rather than taking a seat on a stool or anything. It's been a while since he's been 'at' a bar of any type, really.]

It's curious to me, exactly how moogles and all crystals are linked, in the first place. I mean, they are the only ones that can enable us to job switch; all things considered don't you find that just a little strange?

Edited 2016-10-26 20:29 (UTC)

[Levy gives a small shrug and a nod at the order. She's not really one to judge. Plus, she knows Sephiroth is a pretty straight-laced military type - it makes sense that he wouldn't drink much. So she's back in a minute with a nice tall glass of ice water for him.]

I'm not sure. Palitutu's reports talk about the moogles and their history, but not their connection to the crystals. We know they created Garland, and that the original thirteen surviving Heroes of Light asked them to guide future generations of Heroes, but that doesn't explain their connection to the crystals.

[Cloud, as was his habit, had thrown himself into his usual distractions. Practicing with his weapons, helping out at the farm, tinkering with his motorcycle and magitek armor. He wasn't explicitly and purposefully trying to keep himself from thinking about other things, but the activities certainly kept the meandering thoughts at bay.

Today finds him with a little extra time though so he decides to swing by Fairy Tail to see if they need help with anything. The smell of Chocobo precedes the blonde Hero. Even with changing his clothes before leaving the ranch the scent still lingers. He's a little surprised but not unhappy to see Sephiroth standing there talking to Levy as he walks in from the back.]

Oh hey, Sephiroth, what brings you here?

[He looks between the two, his brow furrowing as he tries to read the moment.]

Am I interrupting something?

Just some shop talk.

[Levy smiles, waving Cloud over as she spots him coming in.]

Actually, he's here looking for you.

[He's much too polite to say anything to Cloud about the chocobo smell that precedes him but indeed it's highly likely Sephiroth would have been able to tell it was the younger blond man even before he announced himself. He took a small sip from the glass of water Levy had brought over and nods to her; they might have to knock heads about crystals again soon...or perhaps-]

Not at all. Exactly shop talk; like how moogles and crystals work, in particular.

[He tries to smile, even if it is a small one, not being the greatest at socializing this is his attempt at stirring the conversation to carry on between the three of them. There are things that he wants to discuss particularly with Cloud but it would be rude to just cut Levy off like that-]

Honestly, I don't touch base with the guild here often enough.

Ah I see. I don't really know anything about that myself. Mako's never really been very forthcoming about much and he always seems annoyed when I ask him. [The moogle does seem interested in crystals himself, but it seems when he tried to help out at the research lab he was later reprimanded by the post office for splitting his time. He's been rather cranky ever since and keeping to himself save for when duty calls.]

I feel like I could do a bit more too, but Levy's been an understanding Guild Master. [His job spread is more physical powers than magic too, but she's been understanding in that regard as well. Mostly they're both in agreement that as long as he keeps doing good in their name then all is well.]

Hey, you're welcome anytime.

[Levy smiles over at Sephiroth, casually leaning on the bar now as Cloud comes up to join them. It may be the Fairy Tail guild hall, but hospitality is important too. You don't recruit new members by closing yourself off to visitors, after all.]

You've done plenty. As long as you try hard, do your best for your friends, and use your skills responsibly, that's all it really takes to be a Fairy Tail wizard.

[There's a thought to ask Spencer about later. Throughout all of his self-pondering Sephiroth's never thought to ask the one constant companion that's always around him; typical. Perhaps not so surprising though, given everything.

He can't help but smile as Levy re-assures Cloud. In fact, it's quite a challenge not to smile too widely. He's never been one for the whole 'friends-stick-together-forever' mentality but it's nice to hear that it's quite a different play of events for Cloud. As still being something of a 'role-model' it brings some pride back to him.]

Simple enough. Hm?

[Sounds like it on the surface at least. Not something he wants to get into much of a conversation about though, and so takes another sip from the glass of water.]

I wanted...to talk about those Caves.

[For the time being he put his gaze squarely on the bar top, uncertain if he wanted to look at either Cloud or Levy for the time being. The smile certainly didn't stick around though, too easily dropping back to a frown.]

The caves, huh? You mean the Crystal Cave expedition?

[Levy raises an eyebrow, looking back at Sephiroth. It sounds like he's worried about something.]

[Cloud first focuses on putting his belongings down as the conversation resumes, listening in with interest as he sets aside his pack and jacket. It occurs to him that most of the times he and Sephiroth meet they are either having a serious conversation or getting ready to fight. If it's the former he's glad Levy is there and it's not just them.

And if it's the latter then he's feeling a bit underdressed in the more casual clothes he's wearing right now.

But as Sephiroth brings up the Crystal Caves the memory of the expedition comes back to his mind and for the moment washes away any ease he's been feeling.]

What's on your mind?

[So many things it could be. The holes in the wall. The Soul Divider.

That chamber from the previous cycle...]

[It's not only Cloud who seems to be taking an odd kind of strength from the fact that Levy is also there and involved in the conversation. The guildmaster is about as disconnected from either of their potential future/past events as anyone could be and that detachment is helping Sephiroth ground himself in the here-and-now, not the when-and-if.]

Yes.

[The answer for Levy, also to indicate that this isn't a conversation he'd rather have in private with Cloud only. There is little he can do with the topic that has naturally dropped his tone, yet as characteristically serious as it is there is something of a determination in his expression that's not been there for a long time. No more wallowing, more of a plunging feet into the mud and willing it to stick.

A few more beats, and a quick sip of that water again before he looks up from the bar, directly at Cloud.]

You...were there as well...weren't you?

[Though it had been a stunning rehash of memories for him as well, that brief visit to that particular chamber, Cloud's reaction had been almost too telling.]

By there you mean...

[Such an open ended phrase, but Cloud knows what Sephiroth means. He's not referring to their recent trip to the chamber, not a confirmation that Cloud saw the place too. He meant the other cycle for sure.]

Y-yeah...we fought each other. You were in him, weren't you?

[He sighs, avoiding Sephiroth's eyes.]

It was bad, and I don't think the Other Me was wrong for opposing the Other You. But we're not Them. And we may not become Them either. There's still that chance. Even if we...'catch up', our experiences are still different.

[Although Sephiroth has always made effort not to think so much about it; there has always been that 'what if' that's sat there and now for the first time --in much too long of a time-- has been verified without him directly having to ask. Now the question he has asked is just a confirmation and should carry less of a weight about it...or at least, that's his theory even if it doesn't really match up with the knot that wants to form deep in his gut as a result of the topic being breached out in a public space.

A small flick of a glance is delivered in Levy's direction again, before briefly brushing Cloud's profile, just to get something from his body language as Sephiroth's eyes also then find a space on the floor somewhere away from themselves.]

I was...[He'll leave it at that, trying to keep his tone as disconnected as possible. He can't deny that he was indeed 'along for the ride' of his doppelganger in that previous cycle circa 2000 years ago, but at the same time he doesn't want to admit to the weaker force that he was in both terms of stopping that Other Him, or even being anywhere near close to that sheer strength of will that the Other possessed.]

...not that it did any good, at all.

[A breath later, Sephiroth steels himself with whatever inner strength he can conjure and looks back up towards Cloud. This is an issue he needs to overcome, and he knows that. Strangely, he feels like he might learn from the way Cloud has learned to deal with that weight of their future-selves.]

Do you ever wonder if...catching up like that...might be the only way forwards?

[Levy is quiet as the two men have their exchange, glancing between each of them. Eventually, she speaks up.]

So... the two of you had a vision of fighting each other in that place? Was it when the Sage showed us what would happen if he told us everything he knew?

[Before the answer comes, though, she shakes her head.]

...But you weren't there for that, were you, Sephiroth? Did something like that happen before?

[Cloud frowns as he watches Sephiroth. Is reaction is largely silent, but it's there. Cloud hasn't spent the past two years and change watching his Hero to not notice the little shifts in his stance, or the way his eyes pull away when he's thinking about something.

But the question that's ultimately asked by the Silver Elite is a serious one, and Cloud leans against a nearby chair as he considers it. He's thankful when Levy opts to break the tension finally.]

No, it wasn't the Sage's vision. Sephiroth was...he wasn't around in that one. [All of the blood cast with the Masamune in that possible future was on his own hands.]

This was further back, when we wound up seeing the end of a previous cycle. We wound up riding shotgun in that cycle's Heroes. Most people I think were in other people they knew...Sephiroth and I were in our... [His lips twitch briefly.] Our future selves, at least as far as Gaia is concerned.

[He looks back to Sephiroth, his own gaze more steeled and serious than his Hero's in this moment.]

I have wondered that, yeah. For a while I thought it might be better if I caught up. That would make me a 'better' Hero, I'd be stronger and know more of what I should be doing. And maybe Tifa wouldn't have been so distant. [That she kept him at arms length because of his age and told him to forget their promise still stung.]

But the more I thought about it the less I believed it. I know there's a lot at work here with why we're in this world, but there has be be a reason I woke up here as I am. And you too.

[He took a long breath, chewing on the inside of his cheek.] What about you Sephiroth? What does "forward" mean to you? Don't tell me you WANT to be that version of yourself?

Edited 2016-12-14 21:13 (UTC)

[It's not very obvious at all, given the dark nature of the topic of the conversation and with how Sephiroth remains looking at the floor several feet away from them, that he's actually grateful that Cloud spoke up to answer Levy's question. He knows full well that he wasn't in the Sages' vision and exactly how he was 'written out' of that story too, he doesn't want to visit that either, given how it had effected Terra. Another sore point which hadn't yet become as dull as he'd like others to believe.

Just another one of those things, like the betrayal his previous-cycle self had inflicted on those who he'd gained the trust of; unforgettable no matter how many layers it was shrouded in or how deep it was buried. It had all come right back up again just coming across that cave. Those swords.

He also draws a long breath as Cloud turns the question back at him. For a moment seeming to wake from his thoughts a little and looking between Cloud and Levy once more.]

I know it would make me stronger, in some ways that I didn't think mattered all that much until recently. I often wonder if the certain detachment I felt back then went hand in hand with that clarity of stern will. To have such a keen focus, such an unshakable drive, is something I have...struggled with.

[What does he mean by 'forward' then? It takes another lingering moment of silence for Sephiroth to chew -sucking some of that corner of his mouth again- on a way he could answer that in a way that would be comprehended, yet didn't completely reveal his own festering sense of weakness.]

I -want- to get over it. I want to take that hurdle and overcome it. I want to find a future.

[This is all way over Levy's head. She understands the theory behind it well enough, but lacking the practical experience is leaving her at a bit of a loss. Still, if there's something she does understand, it's fighting and struggling as hard as you can for a bright future. Everyone in Fairy Tail understands that.]

Sephiroth...

[She starts softly, not wanting to intrude too rudely into this conversation between old friends.]

...I don't know much about your world or its history, or even about the history between you and Cloud, but what I do know is the future is never written in stone. Nobody writes that story but you.

[Cloud tenses as Sephiroth talks about wanting to be 'stronger'. There's so many meanings to the word, and given the context they're discussing he can't be sure if Sephiroth is comparing himself more to his past or to his potential future.]

Levy's right. And that Other You was incredibly strong, but he wasn't the same you we all know now. Hey may have seemed confident in his purpose, but the Other Cloud didn't think so. He saw him as a walking ghost shackled to his past and his misguided sense of his destiny.

[He narrows his eyes, brow furrowing as he leans forward.]

You're better than him, no matter how much 'stronger' he seems. You're still able to make your own choices of what you want to be, but if you become Him you'll lose that.

[Sephiroth remains silent throughout both of what Levy and Cloud express next. Yet it's clear that he's not ignoring them at all, in fact, quite the opposite; he's soaking up all of their words, attempting to tie them to the reason why he felt the need to seek Cloud out now. He wanted to shed whatever hold those past events had managed to hook onto him and were yet still holding him down, yet-

Slowly, Sephiroth raised his eyes again from the floor to Cloud in the wake of his last statement. Eventually he'll seek Levy's out as he doesn't seem to be able to say the next words to Cloud's face.]

It doesn't seem all that much different to me...

[Other Him or Present Him, both are shackled to the same things, it's only the perspective that's different. The scale of things. Outward or inward destruction.]

After all, there aren't many choices at all, when it comes down to it.

[Levy's retort comes very quickly, accompanied by her hands slapping against the bar as she leans forward. Evidently she's got some strong feelings about this.]

I don't believe that. Any of it.

[She shakes her head, looking Sephiroth square in the eyes when he catches her gaze.]

If it wasn't different, you wouldn't be thinking this hard about it. If there wasn't anything you could do about it, you wouldn't be trying. But I can see that you are. I can see that whatever this is - it's bothering you. That's why you're here, isn't it? Why you came looking for Cloud?

[There's a small sigh before she continues.]

Look... maybe I'm being presumptuous here, but there are always choices. Some of them are hard, sure, but those are the choices that define us as people. When you feel like there's no path forward, those are the times you have to fight the hardest to make one. And sometimes, the only thing holding you back... is you.

[A short glance to Cloud, and a smile.]

But you have friends. You don't have to let anything hold you back. Because they'll stand by you, no matter what. And when you stumble on your path, they're the ones who'll help you stand up, so that you can keep walking it with your head held high.

[Cloud can't help but jump slightly at the slamming of Levy's hands. It's one thing to see her in a fight but it's easy to forget she can be just as fierce when she's at peace.

But he nods in agreement at her words. He doesn't believe that Sephiroth is resigned to his future or content to wallow in indecision. He knows he's not the sort to just settle for the "easy" path.

At least, that's what he still believes.]

She's right. If there's something you really want, you know I'll do whatever I can to get you there. And there are others who will too.

[He smiles, an honest eagerness on his face. If there's one thing the Heroes have been doing in this world it's been defying the expectations of those they've been up against. No reason they can't do the same for each other or their original destinies.]

[Well, that teaches him from trying to escape facing Cloud by looking at Levy. Her sharp retort instantly causes Sephiroth to blink, the cat-like pupils to his eyes contracting and seeming to get even smaller as he physically seems to try to make himself seem taller, pulling out every part of his posture that could have been seen to be slouching.

Not that he knew what to expect of Levy, at all, but it's certain Sephiroth hadn't been expecting that. He takes a long moment to ponder over all of the quickly-changed signals in both her body language and her words. He's practically made to look away, down and over the floor again towards Cloud when it's made all that more obvious that indeed she's right, he did come looking for the younger man here. When did he get that transparent?]

I have...trouble...accepting that. [Words selected carefully and he looks up again to Cloud's face and then back to Levy. Though her reaction was every bit the unexpected smack around the face, Sephiroth seems to be holding his composure on the controlled side of calm. Underneath, the loner part of him screams for him to leave before he ends up putting himself at even more risk of...harm? Disrepute? Embarrassment?]

Especially when I seem to have managed to lose sight of that path.

[Levy smiles confidently as Cloud echoes her sentiments before looking back to Sephiroth. For all his unsureness, she seems utterly convinced that he can make a fresh start of things. And why wouldn't she? Juvia, and even Gajeel, had managed to do just that when they joined up with Fairy Tail, and now they're some of the strongest allies the guild has.]

Then maybe what you need is some help.

[The sparkle in her eye says she's got something in mind even before the words leave her lips. She's heard enough of Sephiroth's situation that, even though she doesn't know all of it, she's pretty sure she can do something for him.]

I don't know exactly what the problem is, but it seems like you're feeling lost right now, and maybe a little bit alone. But you don't have to be. If you're looking for your path, or even looking for a new one...

[Her expression turns from a confident grin to a soft smile.]

...What about joining up with Fairy Tail? I know it might sound a little out of the blue, but in my world, this guild means two things to its members: freedom and friendship. And it sounds like that's what you need the most right now. The freedom to seek out your path, and friends to help you along the way. And maybe even to help keep you on the path once you've found it again.

[Levy's smile broadens just a bit as she extends her hand for him. It's up to Sephiroth whether or not to take it.]

So what do you say? There aren't many rules, or dues, or even an attendance requirement, so it won't take you away from helping out at Esdham any more than you want it to. But Fairy Tail always takes care of their own, so the one thing I can promise is that when you do need us, we'll always be here.

Edited 2017-01-02 19:38 (UTC)

[Freedom and friendship. Two things that Sephiroth had lost more than a little bit of faith in even before he had awoken in Crystallis. Not to mention how, whenever he seemed to be getting a little more of one or the other, even touched happiness, inevitably it just got stolen out from underneath him even if he thought he had a firm enough grasp on it.

Countless times he'd told himself -not to mention how many others told him- that he's not tethered to his future, to that 'destiny' that rang in the back of his conscious thoughts far too loudly, that he does have the freedom to choose for his own path for himself. He just needed to choose it for himself, which had proven to be the most impossible task which thoughts stumbled over whenever it came around.

Was his enlistment to the military at Esdham by choice, or was it an outcome that resulted from nothing but his prior-conditioning? Sephiroth didn't like to think like that as it pulled threads out of the tapestry of the man he'd always held himself up to being; regardless if his whole life had been staged around him. He was proud of what he had achieved, took greater pride in his excellence; no, these were his traits.

Sephiroth fell almost coldly silent while those thoughts churn away in the wake of Levy's offer. He couldn't argue with her, on any point that she had made about him but the careful flicking of his eyes over her face, the outstretched hand, and then back to her face again reflected something of a deeper problem which was shortly backed up by the deep creasing his brow took on before he finally looked down and away once more.]

I- I'm not sure if that's-

[Indeed, Sephiroth was starting to feel ashamed. Strong, elite SOLDIER's didn't need the type of help that was being offered, he should be confident enough to hold himself up as he always had before; alone. But the promise that there could be the help he needed, right there if he'd only take it, ached longingly in the back of his throat. He'd probably have to take another sip of water in a moment or two, when he's done trying to keep his well-composed facade in place.]

I mean, thank you for the offer but-

I don't know if I could commit to that.

[Levy waits patiently for Sephiroth's response, giving a sigh and a good-natured smile in response to being turned down.]

Damn. And that was probably my best recruitment speech ever. I wonder how Master Makarov does it.

[She doesn't seem too discouraged, though, especially since she's got one more idea. With a smile, she turns to Cloud.]

Well, I'm out of ideas. You know him better than anyone here. Think you can get him to budge?

[Yup. Absolutely not above playing a little dirty. She believes wholeheartedly that this will be good for Sephiroth, so she's calling in help.]

[Cloud's eyes shine with hope. This isn't a long term answer, let alone the ultimate one, but it's good to see people reaching out to Sephiroth. And for a brief moment he thinks that they'll be taking a step forward.

But then the Silver Elite dashes that hope. And it's not his rejection, but the answer itself that makes Cloud frown. He's ready to answer even before Levy cues him. Sorry friend, he's playing bad cop here.]

Commit to what?

[His tone cuts cold, not holding back as it flies at Sephiroth's excuse.]

She just said you didn't have to quit Esdham over this. And you know as well as I that the Chocobo farm keeps me busy when Hero stuff doesn't. I help out around here when I can make time but sometimes it's months apart.

[He pauses as his mind catches up to his mouth. He takes a deep breath and then sighs as he looks away.]

Freedom. You're free to do as you like. You're even free to say no. And maybe I'm going against what Fairy Tail stands for, but I think I at least have a right to ask you why.

[His gaze shoots back to Sephiroth, cold and hard.]

Someone is holding out their hand to you, offering friendship and help without terms. It's yours to accept when you want it or need it. You're being offered a place to belong. Not because I'm here, but because we're all watching out for each other and trying to help out in this world in whatever way we can. Because we're Heroes. Because we're friends. Because we're people in this world.

What is it, exactly, that you can't 'commit' to?

I know...

[It's a mutter, a minute, lackluster response to Cloud that eventually comes in the wake of an outburst that -at it's beginning- became crystal clear that Sephiroth didn't expect to be able to come flying out of the young country boy.

He really had turned into the Hero that Sephiroth couldn't. There is that pride again, that warms up every time he's seen Cloud do or partake in something of note; that maybe one day, even if had been a long while ago, he might just have been the inspiration that had sparked it.

Sephiroth did reach for his half-empty glass of water for another sip before breaking Cloud's intense glare and looking back to Levy.]

Would that it would be so easy for me to accept those terms. I don't mean to denigrate anything that Fairy Tail stands for, either.

[He then takes a breath, letting it out slowly as he allows his eyes to travel back to Cloud. Whatever tattered remains of the celebrated hero Cloud had once looked so far up to was about to crash down, and the silver haired man was just about tired enough of it, to let it go.]

It wouldn't be fair, to others. You ask me what I can't commit to-

I have never been free, Cloud. And I'm not much of a friend, either.

[The admission made, quickly the shame associated with the statements starts to rise. Sephiroth looks away, over towards the front door to the lobby. Wondering what strange thought processes had even brought him here, to settle with Cloud over the 'past' cycle he'd had nothing to do with; or to destroy the last illusion of forged strength that he'd always held around him.]

[Levy is surprised at the sudden outburst from Cloud, but her expression quickly turns into one of pride. That speech was worthy of any member of Fairy Tail from back home. She waits patiently for Sephiroth's response, sighing once again as he continues to rebuff the invitation.]

You're free, Sephiroth. We all are. For example...

[Her gaze follows his for a brief moment.]

...you're free to walk out that door. You have been, since the moment you walked in.

[And then she leans across the counter, tilting her head to try to get a better look at his face.]

But you haven't. There's got to be a reason for that. I'm sure you didn't come here to join the guild - not at first - but I really think it's something that could do you some good. No one deserves to walk through life alone. To face all of the world's hardships by themselves.

Everyone needs friends. And no matter what you think of it, Cloud seems to think you've been a pretty good one, or he wouldn't be arguing with you like this. So if you've never had the freedom to choose how your life has gone, and that bothers you... then choose now. Defy fate.

If you think you don't belong anywhere - belong here. If you think you don't have friends - find them here. I know it seems like I won't take no for an answer, but this is no one's choice but your own. All I want is for you to be honest with yourself when you make it.

[Cloud keeps on glaring at Sephiroth. It's a look of anger on his face. A look of someone who is being betrayed, not only by reality, but the expectations he's built up around it. A betrayal that tears up the stories he's told to others.

But it's not a shattered look. Not a broken or sad one. It's one that pushes all the blame back. More than all else, he's disappointed in you, Sephiroth. The excuse given is a piss poor one, and one he can also hear in the voice of someone he's resolved not to become.

His glare keeps up as Levy speaks. She is right. He's free, and has been free, to walk away from this at any moment, but Cloud's eyes are keen to follow him and his gaze to hang over him like a stormcloud even after he's out of sight.]

We're not them. We don't have to be. Even if something happens and their minds come pouring into our own we won't be the same. Not as long as we hold on to who we are and what we care about.

[Terra's face rolls through his mind's eye. He knows that Sephiroth has lost that foothold. He knows what it cost him. Cloud's been carrying that torch through the rain for over a decade.

He tries to speak again but he wavers. He can feel the stirrings in his body as his emotional base shifts. His throat is swollen like he's about to cry. He swallows to push past it.]

Sephiroth...if you want to be free...you need to actually do something about it. You have to make a choice. No matter what it is. All you're doing right now is waiting to be told what to do. That may have made you a good SOLDIER, but that's never why I thought you were a Hero. [He pushes on, not letting Sephiroth get a response in just yet.] And before you say anything, I'm not the only one who thinks so. Zack believed in you too. All three of you.

[There's so little this Cloud knows. And so much he actively keeps himself from knowing.]

[He tries really hard to keep his gaze pointedly away from both Levy and Cloud as they both speak to him. But he just can't turn himself off from hearing both of them, and it stirs that notion again -of friendship, of belonging- that he'd once managed to attain without much effort at all, and how it had flash-burned out and left a hollow husk somewhere inside of him.

He hasn't gotten up though, he still hasn't walked away. It's almost as if there is an anchor in his subconscious somewhere that's preventing him from doing so. First looking over Levy as if half-expecting to read some other motive there on her face and finding none, and then back to Cloud. His heart reaches heavily towards what Levy has offered, almost strong enough to make him give-in there and then; if only his head could be persuaded to take the chance again. Those last words that the blond young man speaks are like ice-daggers being stabbed into his resolve and twisted around so as to cause the most damage.

The next breath Sephiroth takes is punctuated with an involuntary shake as it's exhaled. He's never felt so out of touch, such a stranger in his own skin, it's like that isolation he's put himself into has all of a sudden had floodlights put over it and is being picked apart like the toxic shroud it really is.]

Zack was just as mistaken, about it all, as I had been. [He wants to whisper but it wouldn't have been much more than grunting given the emotion that was swelling up his own throat despite his usually-stern attempts to turn them off.]

What exactly did you believe in, Cloud?

[Cloud's frown deepens. He knows things weren't perfect in SOLDIER, not with what he's learned since arriving here, and the rumors that flew around back home ran pretty thick. He was eager, but he wasn't stupid. And Zack's own warning to avoid SOLDIER hadn't come to him yet, but even then there was a line between SOLDIER the people and SOLDIER the ShinRa organization.]

I believe in people. I believe that the people of this world deserve to live, no matter what the Avatars and the Calamity and all the different Cultists do. They may be flashy, but they're just a handful of people. I believe in the Heroes too, all of us, even those that don't seem interested in saving this world. I know we keep being warned about betrayal, but there's always more to it than we get told. I can't just simply accept that we'd turn on each other on the level the Sage was showing us.

[He sighs and shakes his head, looking away from Sephiroth now, avoiding his gaze.]

And I still believe in you. I know you're worried about the Other You. The one that decided it would be better to work against the Heroes for his own goals. And he's probably at least partially to blame for that group of Heroes failing...

[He pauses, staring at a smudge on a wall while he lets that thought sit for a moment.]

But you're not him. Not yet. You have the choice. Even if you became him, you wouldn't be the same as him because you'd still have all your memories up to this point. You could still maybe make a choice.

[He finally looks back at Sephiroth, furrowing his brow and worry showing in his eyes.]

If the same happens to me, there's a chance I WON'T remember any of this. And that's another reason why I believe in everyone. Because I need them to believe in me if that happens.

[Levy nods again at Cloud's response before turning back to Sephiroth.]

I know it's not the same thing as something that actually happened, but if it helps... when we went to see the Sage, I was one of the Heroes who turned on the others in his vision. So I understand what it's like. To see your own dark side like that. To see what you could become if things were different.

[She frowns, looking down at the bar for a moment as she recalls it all.]

Honestly, when we got back, I didn't know what to think anymore. I felt like I might not be able to lead a guild like Fairy Tail at all, with the potential for that kind of darkness inside me. But you know what brought me back, and gave me confidence in myself again?

[By this time, he should be able to guess.]

Friends. Friends who believed in me, and who kept believing in me, even after having witnessed something like that. And it sounds like you've got a pretty good friend in Cloud here. I'm willing to bet there are others who believe in you just as much.

[Under the continued scrutiny of Cloud and Levy, Sephiroth's heavy gaze remains rooted to the floorboards of the lobby-bar, yet at the same time his frame seems stuck in place as if paralyzed and made impossible for him to move, even if inside him the need to leave the harmful situation he's gotten himself into here had already risen over the point that he would usually have already backed out from.

He's near enough scowling, but it isn't directed at anything but his own inner thoughts. While he rails against Cloud's judgments, he doesn't believe in anyone the way that Cloud does, having never been given any reason to. He doesn't believe in himself, all that strength was used up at least a year or so ago. As for what Levy said about the vision the Sage granted them-]

For reasons still unknown, I wasn't taken into that vision- [He kept his voice low, as if it were a great secret that not many people knew. Not many people did, he figured.]

-but I know what became of me. I have some idea, therefore, of the impact my failure had on others.

[A flash of Terra's soaking eyes, of her face with fresh tear-trails down it when she'd finally revealed it to him, blinks its way painfully across his minds eye. One of those never forgotten memories. As Sephiroth looks up, specifically to Levy, a reflection of those tears starts to become apparent in the corner of his own eyes.

Though as soon as he begins to feel the tightness behind his eyes he shakes his head almost angrily and takes a step away from the bar. The atmosphere was starting to feel closer around him and he needed some room.]

How can I believe in myself, when it seems that -whichever version it might be- my existence all ends up with the same result? Inevitable failure.

I heard my window was the only one left; it's almost as if it can't be broken.

[Sephiroth's words wash over Cloud like cold water. He wants to rail back but he forces himself to calm down. He hates hearing his Hero talk about himself as a Failure for something that didn't happen. For something that may not ever happen.

And there's something in his words that stirs an old concern as well.]

You know none of us ever really believed the Sage after that. He says he's on our side, but all he's done is threaten us with a dark future. For all we know he could have kept you out of that vision himself. We all worried about the dark versions of ourselves it showed, but I don't think any of us believe that hearing what he had to say would be enough to do that. Your death in the vision was a push, but even then it's all too much to believe.

[He clenches his hand into a fist, not in anger at Sephiroth, but just frustration at everything around them. He's back to avoiding looking directly at him though.]

If you can't believe in yourself, then maybe try believing in what you want to be. You can make a good future for yourself if you try...but you need to be the one to do it. But you don't need to do it alone. And you might not even have to break the window to get through it.

[In the end Cloud is the one to leave the room first, heading to the back and towards a well needed shower. Of course, now he needs it to clear his head as well as the Chocobo Smell.]

So... the answer is not to try?

[Levy shakes her head, frowning as she watches Cloud leave. She was hoping he'd stick this out with her, but she can understand the frustration he must be feeling.]

I think we both know the problem with that. The only way things will never change is if you give up and let them stay the same. If you don't want to become that person - if you don't want your friends to end up the way they did - then stand up and fight.

[She glances toward the door.]

Cloud's right, you know. You don't have to do any of it alone. If you can't break the window, let one of us break it for you. I'll fly to Mysidia and bust it apart myself if it's that important to you.

[To Cloud's credit, he hardly knows about the failures that Sephiroth attaches to himself from before. From dealings within SOLDIER, regarding the only two friends he had ever let himself have, to that overall notion of hopelessness that he wrestles with when he's not otherwise occupied here on Crystallis.

Green eyes fall back to the floor once more as Cloud walks away; he doesn't blame the younger man, at all. He infuriates himself with his own roundabout thinking as well. It wasn't exactly the 'clearing of air' that he wanted to settle with Cloud but there does seem to be some weight off with what has been said on his part.]

Levy. [It's a moment before Sephiroth manages to compose himself enough, swallow back unsettled bitter feelings and look back up to her directly.]

It's finding exactly what it is that I'm fighting for. And having that something last just long enough for it to have been worthwhile.

[He glances around the now otherwise-empty lobby and finally raises the glass of water to take another sip.]

It always seems to slip through my grasp...each time that I think I've found it.

Well, the only way to find it is to keep looking, right?

[Levy nods in understanding, a sympathetic smile spreading across her features as she folds her arms.]

I wish I had the answer, but that's something everyone has to find out for themselves. But I can promise you one thing.

[Her smile quirks up a bit as a light chuckle escapes her lips.]

Well, two things. First, I promise I'll stop hounding you after this. But second...

[She points at the door Cloud just walked out through.]

No matter how many doors fate closes in your face, that one will always be open. If there's any way at all Fairy Tail can help, we'll be happy to have you.

#18 | Checking in at Fairy Tail

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[skipping Cloud for a turn (cos Magfest) but also cos Levy deserves a direct reply!]

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I'M SORRY! I COULD HAVE SWORN I TAGGED THIS!

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