melodiesoflife | We are off to see the Crystal Tree!

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We are off to see the Crystal Tree!

WHO: OPEN! Those setting out towards the Crystal Tree~
WHAT: Terra has arranged an expedition. Keep in mind that this takes place after the January Event!
WHEN: January 17th - January 27th
WHERE: Plains of Sorrow, Crystal Forest & Crystal Tree~
WARNING: None.

[ooc: Information and plotting about this adventure is posted here. If you have any questions please post them here as well. It's assumed that Terra posted up a help wanted for the heroes who don't know her to see if they want to come along. Settings will be described in top posts to keep thing organized!

Please note that the Friendly Monster and Crystal Tree sections will be one long thread.]

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Vincent hadn't meant to provoke that reaction, although clearly it was...bad. Especially since he was aware that both he and Sephiroth, among others, were dead. Permanently. Clear enough as well that this vision might be part of what was bothering Terra.

"I meant only to confirm." Bowing his head in apology, tone contrite. "You needn't talk about it or go into it." Maybe unnecessary, but he felt she needed to know that.

"I know... you've never made me say anything." She paused, her fingers moving over her heart as she looked out of the night. Stars glimmered and winked in the dark canvas of night as if to offer small lights of hope down upon the world. Terra wasn't sure what hope they could offer her. The reason that she had turned out as she had was because she didn't have hope anymore.

Albel stopped her, if it hadn't been for him things would have been worse.

She looked over at Vincent tears now dotting the corner of her eyes. "I just... I can't put it into words but... I've never been more confused about how I feel." She didn't know anything anymore.

"Emotions are often confusing. Life does not make it any easier, as it often seems senseless when one is in the middle of it." More philosophical than anything else, but hopefully it would bring some comfort. Terra was not alone, nor was she the first to ever be confused by various emotions and unable to put them into words.

"I will always listen, if you choose to share." But she needn't, and she knew that. Simply offering his presence and willingness to let her speak.

Her eyes remained on the ground. "I hurt people Vincent... I became a monster. The monster I've always feared and... I found love but it wasn't..." It wasn't Sephiroth and Terra had no idea what to do. She remembered everything so keenly that it still hurt to think about.

She didn't remember killing anyone but she hurt people.

"I'm sorry." She wanted to cry but she didn't deserve that release. Her pain was nothing compared to what she had bestowed onto others.

Reaching out, careful of his claws on his gauntlet, to rest his left hand on her shoulder. "Terra," Voice gentle, quiet and soft. "From what I understand, it was a vision of a possible future. Not what has to be." Or such was his hope, even if some seemed wanted to live up to what they had seen.

Yuffie could indeed be an amazing Princess, but Vincent absolutely preferred if it happened in ways that played out differently than what she's told him of.

Terra hoped that to be the case as well, because she didn't like the future that she had seen. Just as life was, there were happy moments but it felt as if those moments were always shadowed by darkness. She couldn't escape it; no matter where she went she was a monster.

"I don't know how to not be like that..." Her tone was soft and she didn't dare glance up at him.

"I've always been a monster."

The greatest thing in the world that Terra feared wasn't her own death, it wasn't even the death of her friends. It was that she might have some hand in it, that she would lose control and become the monster from her memories.

Vincent kept his left hand on her shoulder, ever careful of his claws. "You're not a monster." Voice quiet and firm. "Trust me, in that I know monsters--and you are not one, Terra. Because you feel, and because you care." A deep breath in and out, moving his right hand to tilt her head up to make her look at him. Look him in the eyes and believe. "A monster would not feel regret or sorrow. Not for anything, and definitely not for things that only may come to pass."

Terra tried to shake her head, she tried to shake away from him and despite her best effort tears began to fall down her cheeks in hot messy waves.

“But I don’t care.” And it hurt, it hurt that she didn’t care. She had believed that it was alright for the whole world to be against her as long as she had that one person there. She had given up everything with that thought in mind. Almost like an obsession, to try and be happy, she locked away every part of herself only allowing one person to see her, to love her.

She felt like a part of herself was now missing. Albel, she had loved him and still does and because of that part of herself is gone; as if he’s stolen it. She knew that a heart can heal with time, that’s what Sephiroth’s death taught her but it didn’t hurt any less. She had him back but to her someone else had died and that pain was just as strong. She hated it and she wished that she would just feel nothing at all.

As much as he felt it important, Vincent let her move. The very last thing he wanted was her to feel threatened or trapped. Especially by him.

"Terra." Keeping his voice low, gentle, hands where she could see them and away from any weapons. "I do not believe you are a monster. Because a monster would not worry, about if they cared or not." Firm in his tones and believe, then closing his eyes and even more quietly. "If you don't care, then why are you crying?"

"I can now... Vincent I didn't then."

Her voice was broken and she couldn't stop the tears. She covered her face with pale thin fingers as if that might banish the shame that she felt rising in her chest. She had only felt one thing in the past and it was directed towards Albel. She felt nothing for any of her other friends. All those people who had been there for her and she was willing to hurt them.

He didn't know the depths of her self hate and now that cavernous pit grew.

"I've been running from who I am."

Maybe Vincent didn't know about 'her' self-hate, but he knew quite a lot about self-hatred. It was one part of his constant companions for 30 odd years, and still ate at his soul regularly. Careful, moving slowly and clearly, Vincent kept his senses alert but came closer once more. Kneeling, to look at her without towering and bringing his right hand up to her shoulder once more.

"I do not believe that, Terra." Firm, gentle. "Emotions are complicated and messy things, and especially when your own past and mind are mixed up, it can make them even messier. That you CAN cry now, that you are so shaken up...that you clearly regret and feel guilty over whatever you saw and did? That is not the sign of a monster. People do terrible and evil things all the time, but it is how one reacts to them, that shows their character."

Terra pushed her tears away and then chanced looking up at Vincent. Her eyes shined in the darkness much like the crystal tree that glowed behind them. She felt herself breaking apart and more than anything she just wanted to feel better. She watched him for a moment and shook her head.

"I don't know what to do."

She stepped towards him seeking some soft of comfort, something to help with the pain that twisted and stabbed within her heart.

Vincent stood, but did not otherwise move away. Letting her come closer, and if she wanted she could even lean against him. His arms at his sides, simply offering her the physical presence if he could, but no further. Not when she was already confused and upset--he would not make things more complicated.

"About what?" Gentle, still not pushing her but offering if she wanted to speak. He'd listen, and do his best to provide counsel if she wanted, or simply comfort of a sympathetic shoulder.

"I don't know what to tell him." She lightly rested her head on Vincent's shoulder if only to stop any tears that might stray own her cheeks.

"I haven't even told him that he died."

Terra didn't think she could, even after two years into the future she never felt the pain of that loss fade. There were moments where she could forget it but it was never gone. She had no experiance with this sort of thing.

Not moving away still, letting her lean. Nor did he move to comfort her besides his presence--it wasn't Vincent's place to do that. Quiet and pondering what, if anything, he could say. How could he help, aside from comforting his friend by listening?

"Tell him you were part of the vision that afflicted many heroes. He'll understand that enough. And then just...talk to him. Tell him your fears, and your worries." It seemed a place to start, anyways. "You work through it together." That seemed the best answer, at least from what Vincent could think of.

Terra nodded her head and then looked up at Vincent. She was thankful that he was there for her as a friend.

"Okay." She finally agrees. "I'll try."

She looked back towards the camp before releasing a soft breath. "I should try to get some sleep."

A step back, and right-hand moved to her shoulder in support. A gentle squeeze, then encouraging her to turn and go back. "Even if sleep eludes you, try to think of pleasant things and rest. If that does not work, you are welcome to come sit with me."

Like he was the best at giving anyone advice on how to 'sleep' peacefully. "You are always welcome to my company, Terra."

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We are off to see the Crystal Tree!

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