melodiesoflife | We are off to see the Crystal Tree!

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We are off to see the Crystal Tree!

WHO: OPEN! Those setting out towards the Crystal Tree~
WHAT: Terra has arranged an expedition. Keep in mind that this takes place after the January Event!
WHEN: January 17th - January 27th
WHERE: Plains of Sorrow, Crystal Forest & Crystal Tree~
WARNING: None.

[ooc: Information and plotting about this adventure is posted here. If you have any questions please post them here as well. It's assumed that Terra posted up a help wanted for the heroes who don't know her to see if they want to come along. Settings will be described in top posts to keep thing organized!

Please note that the Friendly Monster and Crystal Tree sections will be one long thread.]

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"Much of the time we spent was off-duty, when things were more casual. That was when I knew her more." Observing her and overseeing the project and its researchers as a whole, had eaten most of the time. Besides being Vincent's official duty and role in the whole project.

"You observed the final act of our falling out." His tone was deceptively even, for all he still remembered and felt it keenly. "...I told myself that so long as she was happy, it would be enough." Deep emotion there, for all the voice remained low and the tones even.

Being one who made it something of a specialist skill, in boxing emotions sternly away from being seen, Sephiroth didn't have to look at Vincent again to understand -without being told- that this were a topic that the older man was still deeply moved by. If there had been any great objective in getting them to see their own worst memories in the presence of others, perhaps in helping them grow to overcome them, then neither man had taken that on board very much at all.

In Sephiroth's case, remembering his own memory soon after that event had just drove it home just as deeply, but notably after the fact.

"I'm sorry." Even though there was no way that Sephiroth could have controlled what had happened with the project, or at least not consciously at those early stages, it still felt like the right thing to say. There may have been a tiny quiver to his voice in the saying of the apology, though, as if he did on some level feel responsible for Vincent's burden.

Crimson-eyes slid to watch the other;, blinking at the words. Nor was Vincent even able to make sense of his own initial reaction. Anger--in many ways it was Sephiroth's fault, then guilt--because it really wasn't. Confusion--why was the other sorry, it was Vincent's own burden to bear. Those three chief among a riot of emotions prompted by the words. Especially as that tiniest-of-quivers in the other's voice was heard as loud as a klaxon, for all its impact.

Aside from the blink, and the gaze shifting to the silver-haired man, then away, none of it showed in his expression or posture.

Several more footsteps, stretching to minutes, of quiet. Then broken gently with "You wanted to know about her." Acknowledging, accepting--attempting with the words to soften any blows or discomfort that had come up.

Those long minutes Sephiroth spent trying to fathom exactly why he'd felt the apology was needed. His brow was creased down to it's deepest and his jaw couldn't possibly be held any firmer. He was sorry...for bringing up a subject which was so deeply hurtful to the other man, for the pain his questioning mind always seemed to cause to others and often himself...sorry for being...born?

Sephiroth shook his head heavily at Vincent's further comment, as if dismissing any harsh feelings and the discomfort that had started to stir in himself. He couldn't be sorry for that, such events had been completely out of his control. That said, if Lucrecia had decided to pull out of the project...it left a wide window of possibilities open with regard to the type of person he might have ended up becoming. The idea, that Professor Hojo were even --in any way, shape or form-- capable of being a father. His father, moreover...it brought even more of a chill to those thoughts.

"Thank you for indulging me. I know it's selfish but it-" The next words stumbled a little where Sephiroth wasn't sure how to express them without sounding like he were looking for sympathy.

"-it's important, in finding who I'm supposed to be."

Which was why Vincent had answered--and what he had considered during the month or so it took him to determine if he would answer.

"Your hair and eyes are different. She had deeply warm dark brown hair, the color of the bark of trees in the forests near Wutai. Her eyes were a shade lighter of the same, much as the sunrise lightened their hue." Oh yes, Vincent had most definitely gotten too 'close' to Lucrecia. "Your hair falls like hers, and your bangs frame your face in the same way. The curve and overall shape of your face resemble hers as well."

The gunslinger's voice neither rose in volume nor changed in tone as he described her and stated what he saw of her in the Soldier. "I...have not seen it as much, as it is not your way. But there are times you will have a quirk to your expression, and a shift of your head, that remind me of her when she was being playful but confident."

Like when she had taunted him for falling asleep on the mountainside.

All of this pulled from memories, and offered to Sephiroth, in the hopes it might do him some good. "At work, she was focused and driven, pushing herself hard to succeed, more than others would." Another way 'mother' and son were similar.

To begin with, Sephiroth was not quite so sure what had prompted Vincent to spill those extra details about his 'surrogate' mother but as they walked, they did help to dispel a little more of the awkward tension that had developed over the topic. The silver-haired man already knew full well where he'd gotten his unusual hair color and somewhat alien-like eyes from; it didn't need inserting that those were Jenova's traits.

He almost cracked one of those thin smiles, out in front of him and not directed at Vincent, as he mentioned that there were certain mundane things that resembled her in terms of unconscious mannerisms he held.

Sephiroth laughed, dryly and only in two-huffs as her work ethic was brought up. It really was no surprise in how focused and driven he could be if one looked at his genetic makeup alone.

"I daresay I've more than enough of that bred into me, given the other half as well."

The other half... Vincent could only assume from the statement that he meant Hojo. A slow blink and deeply controlled breath in and out. A subject and personage that would never be comfortable for the darker man.

"I would not know. The only trait, that I could see you having any resemblance in, is your need to be in control." Voice and tones tight and carefully neutral. "You lack the narcissistic superiority and condescension that often went with it however."

No, if Sephiroth seemed disdainful of others--from all Vincent had seen it was more that they were those who demanded things of him with little substance. Hangers-on, people who wasted time, kiss-ups. For all that the silver-haired man also held himself to high standards, he did not seem to regard others as mere bugs or annoyances. Or worse, potential playthings and experiments.

There had always been that superiority, that edge of megalomania and scorn, in Hojo's manner. As if you were no more than an amusing diversion at best. Had the other ever even viewed any one else as a 'person', proper?

Another deep breath in, and out--and Vincent idly wished they would have SOME monster to fight, again. Better to take the release that way for the rage that memories of the professor brought up. If not, then Vincent would manage. He still held his own professional pride, in keeping cool and stoic.

Said megalomania and god-complex would come not so far into Sephiroth's own future, after all. It was a fact that didn't need mentioning, however.

It was perhaps a consequence of having grown up around such a man that had molded Sephiroth with something of a higher morality than his father. That said, due to the fact that he had held himself to such superior standards also inadvertently tainted his perception of others; quite often he had looked down on people, perhaps not so fairly, who hadn't been able to keep up quite so easily. It was a habit he was a lot softer with now though, due in no small part to his time on Crystallis.

"I'm glad that you're able to make that distinction at least." Not that Sephiroth had much in the way of other more obvious physical traits that might have otherwise pinned him as the Professors son. It seemed that, indeed, Jenova knew which traits were the delinquent ones genetically.

A long breath in followed as Sephiroth also didn't want to linger on that subject for too long, knowing that just a mere mention of the man was enough to make Vincent's skin crawl. He'd never held Hojo in much regard, either.

"As for control, I daresay that has little to do with parentage and more to do with the circumstances of my upbringing."

It was becoming obvious that Sephiroth had often sat and picked apart his own strengths and weaknesses to a point where he'd quite easily be able to tie almost everything someone might say about him, down to one thing or another.

Vincent was only able to make that distinction because of their time on Crytallis. That Vincent actually was able to get to know Sephiroth, as a person without Hojo's influence. Without Jenova's influence, and to know the man the silver-haired SOLDIER could, and would be.

It was likely not a comfortable upbringing. Certainly Vincent knew what the science department of Shinra was capable of. Even without Hojo's influence, it was bad enough...

"I'm sorry." Barely audible, voice a whisper. Not pity, nor sympathy--but genuine remorse that Sephiroth had suffered through it.

Not that the topic were ever going to fall that way but whether or not it was comfortable or not wasn't much of the problem. A lot of the constant supervision had been explained away by the episodes of poor health which had plagued Sephiroth's childhood. Once he'd been old enough, with enough of a stable health record afterward was when it had started to become rockier as he'd pushed fervently for his own independence. He'd always known that he wasn't like other children, but it wasn't like he couldn't handle himself.

To think that even that had been something of a smokescreen, a fake freedom, would forever be a sharp needle in the back of his mind.

"It's hardly something I make a point of hanging on to." Sephiroth raised his gaze again to the horizon, the flat plains extending out away from the camp, and the gleaming dot of a crystal tree in the far distance.

"There are much more, important things to concern myself with, after all."

Perhaps he hadn't consciously held on to it, but Vincent could make a very strong argument that it was something that still affected the other. Perhaps more than he knew or realized even with all his introspection.

Letting that subject drop, accepting with a nod the change in subjects and the statement about more important things. "Did you have anything specific you wanted to know?" Otherwise the darker man was more than willing to move on. Remembering, finally, that oh yes--they were supposed to be on patrol. They'd already had one Behemoth encounter while camping and on Vincent's watch.

In Sephiroth's personal opinion, while from a psychological point of view inevitably that upbringing had a hand in anyone's development and growth, he made a point of keeping it at more than a generous distance from any of his long self-searching introspections. Or at least, he had, before uncovering the truth.

Still, he refused to lend it the weight that someone else might.

Their patrol continued on for a few more paces, in silence again while Sephiroth searched those stirred thoughts for another question he might be able to phrase in a way that Vincent would understand. True enough, there were a lot of questions he had still, but where a lot of them bordered on hinting towards his own instability with his identity he didn't feel like Vincent needed to know that particular depth of his soul.

"Nothing much, aside from the how and why, perhaps. Not that there is much of an answer."

There were answers--they'd just lead to more questions though. And paths that were not helpful unless Sephiroth wanted to face them, in Vincent's mind. It would mean coming to terms with the potential future on another planet entirely.

Which meant Vincent might consider answering, if asked. He'd have to ponder it long and hard though. On the one hand he had no desire to shield the other and lie, as he had done to Lucrecia in the cave. On the other hand, he actually did find this version of the silver-haired man, untainted by the madness of Jenova, to be a good colleague and ally. Someone of whom Lucrecia would be proud, someone Vincent was pleased to know.

All things to be thought over later and not in the midst of a patrol.

"I spent 30 years in isolation, pondering many hows and whys. Sometimes there are no 'answers'." A reminder, as crimson eyes sought otherworldly green, and Vincent subtly nodded. He would listen, should Sephiroth ever choose to speak. Best for now to let the subjects drop, and to return their focus. Unlikely though another attack was, much less a Behemoth again, it wasn't impossible.

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We are off to see the Crystal Tree!

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Re: Sephiroth - Plains of Sorrow - Night watch, 4th shift, a few days in?

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