melodiesoflife | [Open] But you won't see me fall apart

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[Open] But you won't see me fall apart

WHO: Reno and YOU!
WHEN: Throughout the month of January, excepting the Enemy Within event
WHERE: Throughout Aqures Ixen; prompts below

The Hospital

"Wh... what do you mean, he's gone?"

"Well, he crystallized, kupo. He was taken to the hospital yesterday. But if you're Reno -- well, he had a letter for you -- "

Reno stood numb as the moogle explained and fetched the envelope for him. He remained numb throughout the day. At some point he must have left the house, though he didn't remember exactly how he got from there to anywhere. Grit was gone. First Kyo, and now... And Rufus had just arrived, too. Reno didn't know how he felt, except very confused and very, very lost. The time he spent at the hospital doubled as he watched over the two men, hoping someday he'd get to talk to them again. The boy he'd loved a world away, and the man who'd loved him without any hope of mutual affection. Reno felt as though he'd been robbed. So he did the only thing he could: remain in patient vigil, over them and over Yuki, waiting.

Palitutu's Lab

Reno continued to try his damnedest to crack Palitutu's passwords and finally get at what she'd hidden on her computer. He was making progress, he knew, slowly but surely. Still, it frustrated him that he hadn't broken it yet. He wanted to know what Palitutu was working on, what she knew, why she'd done what she had -- and he wanted to know now. Her knowledge about the crystals and the heroes could prove invaluable to everyone here; and, perhaps for selfish reasons, Reno hoped what he found could help reverse the crystallization process for heroes already trapped.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes, the burning sensation telling him he was long due for a break away from this screen.

The Pub...s...

If it wasn't one place, it was another. Old habits died hard, especially when circumstances acted as a catalyst. Whatever progress Reno had made against drinking as coping, it was slowly eroding -- as others guilty of the same probably noticed. Not that they'd likely stop each other. Things were easier to handle, or avoid, with a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other.

B-04

Eventually, Reno would make his way "home." He had to. With Rufus in the city, he couldn't very well continue to stay with Yuffie and Vincent, leaving Rufus potentially vulnerable. He especially couldn't leave Rufus alone with Tifa. It just seemed to be asking for trouble. People would be able to find him more frequently at his home assignment, either in his room or around the premises. Tifa would be nearly impossible to avoid; Alice probably had forgotten everything about the strange redhead now slipping about the place. The women were hardly the most awkward of circumstances, though, as Reno attempted to make sharing a bedroom with Rufus as comfortable as humanly possible for them both.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

One of the pubs Reno happens to pick is one Johnny is playing in that night, off in a corner where the acoustics are good. He'd been learning to play a lot more local tunes, which seemed to get him more work and less attempted punches on the streets. It was hardly his favorite stuff to play, but a guy's got to eat.

When he's ready to take a break, he spots Reno sitting alone and comes over to join him, ordering a drink for himself and one more of whatever Reno's having. He can tell something's up with Reno, but he's not sure what.

"Hey. How's it goin'?"

Reno looked up with slightly bleary eyes and tried to smile. "Hey." Even just sitting with Johnny, his shoulders began to relax a little. "I was hopin' I'd find you here."

And he was. Though he changed the taverns he visited frequently, both for a fresh environment and to keep people from getting too used to him, he was also keeping an eye out for Johnny at each one. He supposed he could have gone to the man's home, but... well, he wasn't sure if that was too intimate. And if Johnny wasn't home, but that woman Jack was? How awkward that would have been.

"I really wanted t' talk. Are you doing anything after, um -- " He gestured vaguely over to the corner and Johnny's guitar. "This? Here? Tonight?"

Johnny looks a little concerned, with Reno looking sort of rough. But he shakes his head. If if he did have plans, they'd be canceled now.

"Nah, just have to finish up my set 'n then I'm done around eleven. That okay? We need to go somewhere else?"

Had Reno realized he might have changed Johnny's pre-existing plans, he would have felt guilty and left.

He reached out to lay a hand gently on Johnny's wrist. "We don't need to... but I wouldn't mind goin' somewhere else." It wasn't entirely the alcohol talking. Reno wasn't one to mince words, not usually, and being forward and direct was just the most efficient way to get what he wanted. Obviously.

Nodding, Johnny polished off the rest of his drink. He felt like he was going to need it tonight.

"Sure man, not a problem. My roommate's gone a lot anyway. Lemme wrap up this set. No one really gives much of a shit about the music on a weekday anyway."

He gives that hand on his wrist a hearty reassuring pat before getting up. He wanders back to his corner of the bar and gets back to playing, doing his best to play some more relaxing tunes in honor of his friend in the audience. It's mostly native Crystallis songs again, but he manages to sneak in at least one of his own choosing, too.

It's about a half an hour until he packs it up, counting his paltry Tuesday tips as he slings his case over his back. He shoves it in his pocket as he approaches Reno again, giving him a small smile.

"You wanna go? Or are ya planted to that barstool tonight."

That made it sound like they were heading back to Johnny's place. Reno's eyebrows rose. In a weird way, that was almost more intimate than seeing the other man undressed.

He sat and listened politely to the native songs, not really having the same appreciation for them as the Aqures Ixen residents in the bar. He slowed his drinking at least. It worked as a nice enough background noise, and Johnny looked good in action. Things were fine, almost better, until...

...Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life...

Reno's chest tightened. He didn't know this song, but the style didn't sound the same as the others.

...I will be watching over you
I am gonna help you see it through
I will protect you in the night
I am smiling next to you...

He shouldn't presume it was for him, and yet he almost hoped it was. Reno closed his eyes, brow furrowed. Johnny's words struck deep -- they hurt -- but there was a warmth to them, too. Like dressing a wound, it stung before it could heal.

When Johnny finished and returned, Reno readily stood to meet him. And, without thinking -- least of all of their potential audience -- he reached out and pressed his lips to the other man's. "Let's go," he sighed.

Tonight seemed like it was full of surprises. That catches off guard, and Reno will get to see the other man's face redden. It's a really hard thing for him to hide. "Sure, yeah." He tossed an arm over Reno's shoulders as they walked out.

Johnny's no good when it comes to dealing with feelings, whether it's his own or someone else's. But it was clear to him that something was up with Reno, and he wasn't sure he wanted to wait til they made it back to his place before they got to talking. He kept his voice low.

"So what's goin' on? Everythin' okay...?"

Reno nudged himself under Johnny's shoulder, being just shorter than the other man to fit into the space comfortably. He hooked his own arm around Johnny's waist, enjoying the warmth of holding someone close.

His mouth opened, ready to utter the habitual yes, then closed. Liar. "No," he admitted, since it was pretty obvious already. "Just... kind of a lot hit me at once an' knocked me on my ass."

His hand tightened slightly against Johnny's side. Reno really liked the other man, and he didn't want anything to ruin their friendship.

"There's a lot of stuff I haven't told you, an' I didn't think it was a big deal, figured you were doin' the same thing," he admitted. "But now... gods, now I just want someone I can talk to -- someone I trust."

Someone without previous history, or one-sided memories. Someone who was made of flesh and could actually react. Someone Reno could tell was listening.

Not used to being someone's confidant, Johnny isn't sure what to say at first. But hearing someone say that they trusted him was unusual to hear, but not unwelcome. He gave Reno's shoulders a supportive squeeze.

"Hey, whatever I can do to help, I'll do it." He might not know the details, but Johnny knows Reno's been through some hell. And someone like Johnny might be the right person to relate.

He gave Reno a slight grin. "Y'now, besides offer up whatever liquor I got left back at the house to ya."

The mention of more liquor brought a small smile to Reno's face and he leaned in to the comfort of Johnny's body. There always was that.

"Heh." He took a deep breath, trying to figure out where on earth to even start. "Um... well... Let's see... So, my boss just arrived. From home. So, um, if you were still curious about the Turks..."

He'd already recommended Johnny as a potential recruit to Rufus. But the final decision, more than Rufus', was Johnny's.

Johnny's eyebrows raised. "Yeah? You know a lotta people from home here, don't ya.". He was mildly jealous. The only person here he knew was Saori, but she hadn't recognized him. Even though they had only been acquaintances in Exsilium, that still hurt.

"Y'think that her boss'll wanna be up to business as usual here on Crystallis? What with all the other shit we gotta put up with?"

"Unfortunately." As nice as it was to know some of them, a good number were already crystallized before he'd arrived. Some of the others, he didn't really speak to -- not Tifa, not Sephiroth, not unless he had to. If he counted them, he supposed he was friendly with the majority -- and that was more than what some people had. Maybe more than what most people had here.

"Nevermind, I take it back." Didn't want to cheapen Johnny's feelings, especially when Johnny was right. "And I already mentioned you were one particular badass to 'im, so that door is definitely open."

Reno rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Business as usual? No. Prob'ly gonna be overly-trained bodyguards, mostly. Those other people from home aren't big fans. Then, I dunno, maybe information trade, I know that Mary... Kidd... lady was doing a thing..."

He'd forgotten all about that. Shit. He had been interested. Had to get a move on that. Something else to do.

"I dunno, I guess I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't fucked 'im," he blurted out plaintively in his drunken ramble.

Johnny would be lying if he wasn't curious about whatever it was the Turks got up to. If it employed guys like Reno, they had to be interesting. If he had to ever get anything close to a real job, it was much more his does l speed than most others.

He looked pretty surprised at that revelation though, and couldn't help but grin a bit. "Holy shit. You had sex with your boss? I thought that kinda thing was normally frowned upon."

"It was -- it is -- it was on Atia..." Not that that meant much by itself.

"It was a matter of trust," Reno sighed. "I mean, I was the only other one a' the Company there. An' when things are a matter of life or death, y' make yer choices. But it made things so complicated, so messy and angry, not that he even remembers any of it."

Reno wasn't even entirely sure this was the same Rufus, depending on how these alternate timelines worked. No, if he had to choose, he'd definitely say it wasn't the same Rufus at all.

When he mentions that it happened back on that island, Johnny cuts the grin. He can't get over how unbelievably fucked up that place sounded.

"I see. Does he come from another time 'r somethin' then? There's someone here from back on Exsilium here, but she don't remember me. She might be from before it, or maybe a different version of her all together." He shrugged, not sure how to make sense of it. He's wanted to know so badly that anyone he knew from Exsilium was okay, but this didn't help.

"And from what I know of that place? Iwouldn't anything ya did there against ya."

"I dunno," Reno muttered. "I dunno if his memories are gone, or if it's not even him. But I'm still stuck with them, and the weird feelings."

What remained of his attraction. Wariness. Resentment and bitterness. None of which Rufus needed, most of which he didn't deserve. Reno felt like an asshole feeling so touchy around him, but until he could get this off his chest, he felt like he was going crazy.

"I went t' tell Grit, since he knew some other version of me in another world. And turns out he's a crystal now. Just, no warning, nothing. He... he left me this letter..." Reno fumbled unsuccessfully around his coat.

"Yeah. That's how it happens. They're just gone one day." Johnny's voice was surprisingly soft. He's been here over a year now, and has seen plenty of Heroes and roommates turned to stone one day out of nowhere. It was never not jarring.

"A letter? Like a 'just in case' sorta thing?" He wondered if he should do the same sort of thing, now. Say his piece in case he was unable to, since it could happen at any time.

"I mean, ya don't gotta show me if it's a personal sorta thing."

Reno sighed, frustrated that he couldn't manage such a simple fine motor action. But he gave up on it. After all, Johnny didn't have to read it -- Reno could just as easily tell him.

"He... He..." Reno's hand tightened on Johnny's side again. He didn't know why this was so hard. He didn't really know Grit. But the way Grit knew him... made him want to.

"He told me he loved me." His brow furrowed with confusion. "The other me, there. And apparently I couldn't deal with it, and then he ended up here."

Which sounded like something he would do, actually, run from a confession like that. Reno wasn't one for commitment, or at least he hadn't been for the longest time. He'd just assumed that, like Kyo, Grit had been able to win him over.

"He was never gonna tell me. Because he still just wanted me to be happy. Me!" Reno scoffed and shook his head, at a loss for it. He snuggled deeper into Johnny's side, feeling a chill. All the alcohol of the night was starting to make him sleepy.

"Everyone I like ends up in that hospital," he murmured plaintively. "Don't wind up there. You're not allowed."

Johnny can't even begin to image how confusing this has to be. Maybe it really was for the best no one else he knew was here, or anyone that knew him. And before Reno and this Grit guy could come to any closure, he was crystallized. There was always a chance that he could come out of it, but he might never. Crystallis could be really cruel.

He couldn't make any promises about turning into crystal; Reno and Johnny both know that. But that wasn't going keep him from saying otherwise. He leaned his head against Reno's.

"Ain't got plans to. But that goes the same for you, too."

It was a good thing they finally made it to Johnny's place. They could both use another drink right about now. He didn't have a lot, but he'd get Reno whatever he had.

"Hm." It came out as a soft laugh.

When they reached the door, Reno looked up at Johnny with a smile -- tired, tipsy, but finally eased with some relief. Just to even get his thoughts off his chest had been a huge weight lifted, just to have someone listen without judgment. That was all Reno really needed. He knew there was no real "fixing" these problems, but having Johnny listen to him rant for awhile was nice. Other people might have been less than friendly about it -- or worse, tried to "help" by offering suggestions. Reno didn't want anyone's suggestions or advice or opinions.

"Thanks." He meant it. "And... you said you had liquor?"

Because after dropping all that at Johnny's feet, yeah, Reno imagined they could use another drink. One of a lighter mood, hopefully.

"You bet I do." Once inside, Johnny popped quickly into the kitchen, and emerged with two glasses with ice, and a bottle of bourbon. He'd fill up the glasses and hand one off to Reno before plopping on the couch.

He wasn't sure what to say, now that Reno had laid all of that out. He was quiet for a few moments as he thought everything over, and sipped his drink. As much as he has wished to see familiar faces from home or Exsilium here, maybe it was a disaster waiting to happen if they did.

"Y'know, last year, not long after I got here, a new batch of Heroes showed up. But a bunch of 'em were already crystallized. They never even had a chance. Worse still, after like an hour or two, they just disappeared. We don't know what happened to 'em."

Johnny looked pensive, staring into his glass, swirling the liquid around. "Someone I knew was there. Lukas. He was..." Johnny's not the type to use the term "best friend."

"A good friend of mine from home. He'd gone missing, 'n I was trying to find him before I ended up in Exsilium. Now I don't know what to think about where he might be."

In an effort to relate to everything Reno's let out, Johnny give him his own story. He was still new when this happened, and he didn't really know anyone here yet, so he had no one to talk about it with yet.

"Oh, gods, Johnny," Reno sighed. He felt for the other man, dearly. As a friend, as a... whatever-with-benefits they were. And as someone else who had lost people.

"They just... arrived already crystallized?" How hopeless. "Gods... That's awful."

He sipped thoughtfully on his bourbon, brow furrowed. How truly horrible. He didn't like to imagine what that would have been like, seeing bodies just come in that way. Seeing a good friend come in that way -- and then poof! Gone. Disappeared, with no closure, not even the hope that eventually they'll be okay. Even the somber hospital was better than that. Reno hated to imagine it, but he couldn't stop, either. He leaned against Johnny on the sofa, shoulder to shoulder.

"I'd honestly thought he was dead. Or back in--" Well, Hell. Lukas was a demon, from the Underworld. But that was a whole other story. "Back where he was from, with me havin' no way to know. Instead he shows up here, 'n just fades away. For all I know, he really was dead. Crystallis works in mysterious fuckin' ways."

Johnny rested his own head against Reno's.

"There're a lotta people I want to see again, but I hope it ain't while on this planet."

"Mm." Reno hummed his agreement. There were definitely people he wanted to see again, too, desperately so. Rude. Kyo, alive and well, and his Kyo, not the one in the hospital. But if it meant them being crystallized, or dying somehow, then it would only be selfish to still want them here. In a sick way, it made him almost miss Atia and those awful collars. At least those (for the most part) he could influence, keep under control. He couldn't do a damn thing about crystallization.

"I really hope he isn't dead," he said finally after a moment of silence. "Your friend. We only get so many good ones."

"I owe Lukas a lot, so the least I could do was help him out if he needed it. But now I don't know what to do. How're we supposed to know what happened to 'em?"

He sighs in frustration, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, I-- I didn't mean to go on like that. Like ya don't got enough of yer own problems without me dumping this shit on ya."

[Open] But you won't see me fall apart

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we can wrap here or in 1 more if you want them elsewhere than the sofa