melodiesoflife | #4 | Fallout from the last and entering new horizons?

Entry tags:

#4 | Fallout from the last and entering new horizons?

Who: Sephiroth [Open]
When/Where: Various, as prompts below - Locations in bold
Summary: #1 - Fallout from 13 Moogles, General log post-Event, #2 - Esdham during the Event
Warnings: Not really? Melancholy-Sephiroth?

#1 10-14th November: Around Aqures Ixen
There was one thing undeniable about life in Aqures Ixen, the cold snap which had started around the start of the Night of the Thirteen Moogles celebrations didn't seem to be letting up any time soon. It seemed that this part of Crystallis were quickly advancing now into it's winter season but whatever comfort Sephiroth might take from that mundane detail, that sense of 'normality'; not being used to feeling the cold so acutely, the same was incredibly short lived. He had hurt people, he had killed someone. Moreover, he had failed. Failed himself, failed others, failed the title of 'Hero' that Spencer still insisted on bestowing on him.

Perhaps that was the real reason why he insisted on giving up his room when Hibiki had joined them in A-02, and instead taking up residence in the common living area; the couch wasn't the best nights sleep given his size but it was just another uncomfort Sephiroth figured it was best to simply get used to. The mako-given rush to his limitations had receded when he'd come back around after the fight, leaving him only with the weakness he thought had been gone for good. In the end, without much in the way of words to either girl, he'd slipped out of the house and not returned, deciding quietly to move in with an old friend to B-04; an easy enough transition considering they were neighbors anyway, and besides it's not as if he had much in the way of possessions or even much of a desire to leave his new room most of the time. There was plenty to read, and much more to ponder upon despite Spencer's continued encouragement for him to find something to take his mind off his troubles; when he did leave his new 'home', Sephiroth would not return for most of the day.

For the most part his routine-of-sorts hadn't changed; early morning circuits around the Districts to get his blood going then a return to the house for clean up and a light lunch. Most afternoons were spent between combating monsters not so far out of the City limits, sparring in one of the small arenas available in the 8th or 10th Districts, or lingering around in some Library aisle or another before retreating back with a book to read for the evening. More often recently, thoughts were drawn to the conflict going on against the Empire which seemed to be the source of all their troubles; perhaps he might write that letter to Biggs after all. It was high time he stopped simply existing and stepped up to the plate.

#2 Event: Cat and Mouse - Republic of Esdham/Coliseum 20-25th November: Smash Tournament
Maybe he had been sitting on the reply for a little too long, that official looking letter stating that he was to travel to Esdham via the military airship to undertake the necessary physical and mental tests required for his entry into their military. Sephiroth assured himself quite often that it was simply a formality and he should make the cut with no problems, yet, there was always the fact that he was undoubtedly weaker than he could be and his mental state -ha- well that was best not to think too heavily on either. Best to concentrate on his fitness and training so that he could be the best possible within his too human limitations.

But there was that message from Wedge a few days ago as well. The Moogle with the Black Mage Hat was still out there - somewhere. Sephiroth had no doubt that other Heroes would have taken the call out, they might be spread across the entire accessible surface of Crystallis by now in their hunt for the one who was behind all of their manipulations thus far. Yet there was still a dark thought that festered in the back of his mind; were they really all on the right side? He needed to put that to rest, a fact if he were ever to get his mind back where it should be; that is - back to the Hero he was supposed to be. What better way than to retreat into an environment more familiar than the mundane day-by-day monotony of living in Aqures Ixen and having no direction?

And when he got there? In Esdham, aside from his entry tests to undergo -which he had felt quietly confident in- there seemed to be something of a sporting event going on at the Coliseum. What a spectacle to dedicate his attention towards! There were a vast array of weapons, tactics and competitors to observe and study. Who knows some of the tactics might even be used by the Empire themselves, against the Army of Esdham; if not, then for sure some of them needed to be! Not to mention there were plenty of others who served in the army also present in the seething audience where Sephiroth might learn more about the life that would be waiting for him pending his acceptance.

It wasn't as if there weren't other locales to check out in the Republic as well, even if some of them he didn't yet have the clearance to enter. The military headquarters, with their impressive training grounds (if not so hi-tech as Sephiroth remembered from Shinra), the barracks that might become his home should the tests have gone as well as he thought. The airport was so much more expansive and advanced than anything they boasted in Aqures Ixen, the airships mirroring more of the prototypes that Shinra Inc might have designed. Idly he wondered if there were anything in that comparison as he watched them in near awe. Homesick? Perhaps just a little.

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"I would think that a Hero to some can be a villain to others. Look at Wutai and their rather unflattering names for us and for who we had worked for. Look also to the kind of damage we could do, if we were to follow orders against a foe that did not have our advantages. We may have been heroes in our own minds, but we may also been villains in the minds of others."

There might have been a nobler purpose to SOLDIER at first. The monsters of the Planet were a strange mix of old corrupted magics and strange meddling of people who should have known better. Some were actually men and women whose bodies had been twisted by the raw mako that sometimes broken from the Lifestream and twisted into creatures that preyed on those that they use to call friends.

But then greed grew, and SOLDIER became a tool of that greed. Greed for knowledge. Greed for money. Greed for power. The true calling of SOLDIER lost before the weaknesses inside the hearts of people who did not know what a hero was suppose to be.

"What you felt, what you believed, what you did, we all have that potential within us," he said slowly, thinking on the years in the mako, the Planet moving and changing around him as Deepground grew and then faded. "We have been given a chance to taste the worst of ourselves, and to accept that we can do better. We can not dwell on something we cannot change but we can learn from it and take measures that they do not catch us of guard again."

"Quite." There was that tone of finality again which indicated in no uncertain terms that the topic wasn't up for discussion. There really was no need for Genesis to have mentioned it, Sephiroth was always aware of the vast moral arguments that could be put against his actions in Wutai even if ShinRa had done an excellent job of glossing all of it over with good press. He had cut down hundreds, at least, in the name of ShinRa's greater goals. As a result, it were no surprise why he found sharing a house with Yuffie so wrought with difficulties.

Sephiroth kept his eyes downcast as Genesis continued to speak, each word coming at him like a tidal wave that threatened to strip his still-repairing resolve away. He couldn't let that happen. He knew he wouldn't be any good to anyone if he couldn't find a way to put all of those unfortunate events behind him and here were Genesis wanting to talk them out.

"I can't accept that." The words were muttered before Sephiroth could stop them, followed with a quick warning glance up at the face of his once-friend - he must be allowed to continue. "I am many things. But such a monster as that, I cannot in my worst nightmares accept that as some 'potential' in me. And my mind was-"

He broke off, slipping into that all-the-same silence he pulled whenever he didn't have the words to express what he wanted to. It was all too confusing still, and the thoughts he had at that time still rang in the back of his consciousness even now. Like a phantom goading him toward some edge of a cliff. Already, he'd given Genesis too much of an insight and he knew it. Living in this place, even now, even without Genesis there, it were eating away inside of the walls he liked to keep himself behind away from other people.

He needed to get back on track. Sephiroth raised his head and then looked at a random point on the nearest bookshelf as if gathering his thoughts. Time away, that's what he needed. His expression softened a little as thoughts returned to what he had come to the library today to study.

"And your mind was glorifying in a found higher purpose than what SOLDIER had given you," Genesis said, guessing though he had far more information to draw from than just that night. All the information from reading files that Sephiroth probably hadn't seen yet. The broad comments Hollander would mutter when he had thought Genesis was too sick to listen. The Deepgrounders and their whispers of how the Calamity's Son made it possible for Chaos and Omega to rise.

That thought reminded him of his real reason to come to the Library as well. Was the Calamity of this world the same of the Planet's? Would that mean something would happen to start Sephiroth on his spiral or would he fight it off here? What of him and Angeal? What of tiny Cloud? Would he grow into the troubled young man forever crossing the world while demons nipped at his heels?

So many thoughts and he was not sure where to even start, let alone if time would heal any of the distance between him and Sephiroth. He will need to give him space, that was for certain. And maybe hope that curiosity would have him approach Genesis later on.

"You are now nearly fifteen years my junior, Sephiroth. The Crystal might had only hold me here for a week, but within that week, I grew old. If you feel like asking me about what happened in that time, I will answer, but they will not be easy answers."

A rush of anger spiked in reaction to Genesis ending his sentence and if only for a tinth of a second it was obvious in his bearing, his body language, before the disciplined SOLDIER pulled it all back under wraps. With a creak of leather he unclenched fists a little where he hadn't even noticed them be more tense than he should have let them be. How could Genesis be so wrong about him, yet so painfully right at the same time? The comment was like a sharp needle, not only pricked at the surface but pushed in deeply and at the speed of light.

His face was still turned down and away from him, the scowl mostly hidden with a firm jaw threatened to turn to disgust. Introverted disgust that he was really that way inclined, so selfish, but-

Hadn't that been what had always kept their friendship at the distance he preferred in the past? Hadn't that been what had driven both of them away, in the end? It turned something sick inside Sephiroth's gut. It took a great deal of effort to then blink a few times, set his shoulders back in his usual posture and then finally raised his head to look at Genesis again. Silver bangs, getting longer than he usually would have kept them, falling just to touch at the edges of his signature leather jacket.

Sephiroth regarded Genesis very carefully, before finally deciding on an answer.

"What does it matter, what you would tell me of the future?" But even his tone sounded less certain than even Sephiroth himself liked to sound. "Did you have any recollection of your time here, in those years you spent returned to our World?"

"Some may say that the future is inevitable to change. That we cannot affect matters so what we know of the future will never stray far from that path," he said.

If Genesis noticed the lack of control, he did not mention. He showed little care about how close Sephiroth had been, instead was again running his fingers along the spines of the books in front of him, his hand restless even f the rest of him was at peace.

"Your future is in my past. I know of it and I also know that it is somewhat my fault. Would it be so wrong for me to wish that we can forestall it or even find methods in which it will not occur? Would it be wrong to seek within it answers to questions that may also help us in this place? That Moogle was able to trigger something inside of all three of us, something that might be also within possibilities from home. If we can figure out what, we can prevent it from affecting us again. Is it not something we should try to do?"

"Now you really are starting to sound like Angeal." What with the age-old psychological argument whether or not all paths are pre-determined; even if one would seek to divert the path would the destination always remain the same? As a practical man, Sephiroth did not believe in fate. Every step that he had taken down any 'path' as such, he had meticulously planned and worked tirelessly to go in that direction from an earlier age than most boys. As as result, he would resent anyone who might even suggest that he had been somehow influenced from behind the scenes, Sephiroth took pride in his complete control of his own existence.

Never mind how that all might be thrown into contention not very far at all into Sephiroth's own future. How recently he had begun to question those very same foundations himself.

"This is to do with the Calamity, isn't it?" A pause with another deep breath followed as Sephiroth chanced a quick flick of a glance in Genesis' direction. He couldn't allow himself to make eye contact, but at least he seemed to be stalling closing the lid on the box he was packing himself back into.

"That Moogle turned us all into the monsters that suited it's own purposes. We should be mindful not to attach too much weight to that, no matter how tempting it might be to jump to conclusions or extrapolate with unproven theories." Coldly logical to a fault, as always, yet it was obvious that advise wasn't only for Genesis.

"Angeal has always tried to bring peace between the two of us. Maybe it's time we should attempt to do as he wished, given how he still remains."

He smiled as he spoke, recalling the many times Angeal stepped between their swords, or talked them down from their arguments. Alone, Genesis and Sephiroth did not always see eye-to-eye, but with Angeal, they at least managed to find a common ground overlooked through their bickering. While he was concerned about Angeal's own reluctance to explore what had happened, Genesis was sure that sooner or later he would manage to talk Angeal into relaxing again.

The hard part was trying to get Sephiroth to stop being so stubborn.

"Yes," he said, looking over at Sephiroth. "You do not know of it given the time you were plucked from, but I have found out there was a group dedicated in studying the remains of the Planet's very own Calamity. That there is one here and the strange mutations had hit us at a time of weakness, only convinced me that more studying is needed to see all the connections."

Carefully Sephiroth observed Genesis' whole frame yet at the same time stubbornly keeping his eye contact from the other mans, as he spoke of Angeal. Impossible to miss that smile that too-easily slid across Genesis' face, the unspoken memories that such a smile indicated without having to stretch his own recollection so very far either.

It only served to keep that frown deeply etched between his eyebrows. Sephiroth didn't agree, nor disagree with Angeal's notion that they should call a truce- to him it seemed pointless as due to their personalities such a thing wouldn't last. He didn't think that things could have ended any worse for them than it had already, but he didn't want to chance it. Logic went sternly against the desire to be kicked again.

"To see if there are any links between a Calamity on our Planet, and the Calamity here." He blinked a few times and then both leaned back against one of the bookshelves and pulled his arms up into a fold over his chest. Once he was confident his thoughts were more in control, and only then, he looked more directly at the eyes of his once-friend.

"Nothing is impossible." There was even a light shrug in accompaniment. "Only bear in mind that it was a black crystal that was the root cause, in this instance, and the closest we have to the same is materia."

"Ah, but there is something similar; it's called the Black Materia. It was hidden somewhere deep in the wilds of the Planet by the Cetra, and guarded by traps and monsters that would have destroyed most people that went after it."

Cloud and his band of misfits had gone after it, and a toy managed to defeat the last trap and thus allowed the Black Materia escape. That it was all part of a greater plot to summon Meteor back to the Planet was something that Genesis did not see a need to expand on. It was enough that there was such a thing and that it too had an effect on the people around it, especially SOLDIERs.

"I have heard that it was the key towards the Planet's final death. There was an opposite materia to counter it known as the White Materia, but in the end the very Lifestream rose up to defend against it. However, the evidence of that taint affected those with SOLDIER cells, and from there, spread on to others."

Geostigma. The rotting death from the aftermath of that battle. He had not seen it having long gone into his mako bubble by then, but he heard about it from those that stepped into that chamber. Stories of AVALANCHE were favorites among the Deepgrounders, especially after Hojo rambled on about the Proto-materia and Vincent. From that came the search for Chaos and Omega that had Deepgrounders return to the surface to cleanse the rest of the world.

"Many worlds have a common echo; this is something I have seen here. But this sounds too close for me to say it is not connected."

Cetra. It sounded like a term that Sephiroth should know, but didn't. He was certain he had read it somewhere before but couldn't, off the top of his head recall what exactly it had been in relation to. The corner of an eyebrow twitched in what could have been a renewed frown if he had let it develop that way.

Still, he listened in silence to Genesis as he continued. Expertly compartmentalizing all thoughts regarding it into the importance of getting to the bottom of their existence in the realm of Crystallis and purposefully not allowing it to bleed too far into what his existence had been back on their own Planet. However, it still concerned him- from how Genesis were describing it, things would get a lot worse for all of them in the future.

"You're right. There are many connections between various worlds made obvious by the fact that there are several represented here. It's no surprise really if you think about it logically; common elements run through all planes of existence."

All that Genesis had said turned an uncomfortable knot within Sephiroth all the same. The correlation was too stark to be ignored.

"Each time we gain a new Job, Jesse sends us a White Crystal. The Moogle with his Black Crystal triggered our more disastrous sides. The White and Black Materia of the Planet. The Fire Crystal and the Goddess Materia. Heaven's Dark Harbinger and the Calamity."

He ticked off the points that were just too close together for his liking between the Planet and Crystallis. He was not going to go into the details about the chocobos or the monsters, they were both similar and not and it seemed that other planets also had them in abundance.

"The only difference I have heard for now is that the Planet has the Lifestream, and no one here has ever heard of such a thing." Genesis flicked a hand at the rows of books. "However, once I am able to read further, perhaps that too will change."

"But if it were not for the various studies in Planet Life, the denizens of the Planet wouldn't have been aware of the Lifestream's existence, either." Sephiroth stated matter-of-factly. "Much less how to extract the same and convert it into a viable energy source."

It seemed, to him, that there could be a correlation there as well - only those in Crystallis haven't built the foundations yet to be able to look for it. Magitek was the source of energy and it had something to do with the crystals here as well. A link between their Mako and the Materia that had recently started to become mass produced for the purpose of the military within Shinra.

"I doubt you would find anything suitable here on that topic." He'd looked before. There were only outlandish theories at best, at least as far as his own opinion were concerned.

Edited 2015-01-19 13:28 (UTC)

"The Cetra knew and spoke to it; ShinRa found this out and thus wished to find them," Genesis said, looking over at Sephiroth. It was in part that search that brought forth the idea of SOLDIER and then Sephiroth himself. A link they wanted, and instead they created something entirely different.

"LOVELESS was a Cetra poem, and there are pieces of it in the ruins of their civilization. Gast and his band of scientists were looking for Cetra because ShinRa wanted the Promised Lands where the Lifestream rose from. Could it be possible that there were hints of such a thing in this world but because there was no ShinRa here, no one thought to look deeper? Would it possible for us - people who have knowledge of such things - to see those hints?"

The idea had set inside of him early one, and it grew while he slept on. He pushed a heavy braid back off his shoulders, looking at the rows of books but not really seeing them.

"There are secrets in here somewhere. I wish to find them, and such have not stopped using this Job they decided to give me. If I can read further, I might be able to find a connection others have missed. Or do I sound like a child grasping at sweets?"

Of course. That's where he had heard the term before. How could he have forgotten when it was so heavily implied that LOVELESS were originally a Cetran tale. The tall silver-haired warrior couldn't help but to narrow his eyes at a random bookshelf as Genesis continued. To him, it did seem as if his now-elder comrade were taking the correlations perhaps a little too far.

Still, he did say that he knew more of their future on Gaia and Sephiroth wasn't in a position to argue. It was quite likely that Genesis had a wider spectrum to call out these similarities from. But the way that he worded it-

"I would be careful that your search does not turn into such an unhealthy obsession. Surround yourself with what you want to see and you might miss the obvious that is right in front of your nose."

Sephiroth flicked his gaze up to Genesis' face again, a hint of distaste across his features. He remembered well how LOVELESS had taken over Genesis' whole focus as the degradation had proceeded to get worse, and it seemed -at least on the surface- that he was evolving that obsession into a new, deeper one. Except since they weren't on Gaia, Sephiroth didn't know any more than Genesis even dared to theorize.

Genesis glanced at Sephiroth, eyebrows raised, and then he smiled, flicking his fingers against a book. He had to admit that he did get worked up over certain things; Angeal had often gone to extreme lengths to make sure that Genesis was not about to get lost in a new line of research when they were children. But really, to imply that he was going to miss things by focusing on what he wanted to see? Just what was Sephiroth trying to prove?

"Do you mean missing such things as your so-obvious study of Esdham? I may be focused on a certain idea, but I am far from blind."

It was a lower blow of a comment than Sephiroth usually cared to express for sure, but he could be brutally honest with his opinions sometimes. After all, Sephiroth too had that natural leaning towards delving into a subject he wished to know everything about and discovering Hollander's notes which had to have been purposefully placed for him to find in the makeshift lab below reactor 5 had only rekindled a thread of research that he'd otherwise exhausted his resources in. Shinra only had held so much in their archives, of that which he was authorized to read, that is.

It could be said that they were very much similar in that respect no matter how either of them might strive to disprove the theory.

"Tch-" Sephiroth clicked his tongue rather than catching his breath, but he was quick as ever to retort to Genesis' accusation.

"Esdham is a vitally strategic point with regards to the safety of the Aqures region. So it only begs to know more about the stronghold."

"Oh? Do I detect a hint of interest beyond Esdham's place in this world?"

If Sephiroth was to notice - and Genesis wasn't sure if he did - he would have realized that it was the same teasing tone once used when they sparred together. There was no malice and very little bitterness, just a slight dig at something that Sephiroth might have been trying to hide but Genesis thought he had figured it out.

"I suppose that it is nice to have old habits to fall back on, even if it may seem like running from unwanted thoughts."

He caught something of that tease, or at least he thought he caught something of it, but in truth it sounded a little off. Not quite the incendiary dig that might have sparked off his pride in the past, but then Sephiroth's mind was clearly bogged down with heavier things not least of the various subjects that Genesis had already brought up.

Genesis was right though, and only researching more into Esdham had served to set Sephiroth's intention further into stone. He didn't even give a flinch to the smallest crease of his face to indicate thus, though.

"Believe whichever you want, you will do anyway. Regardless, it's hard to deny the Heran Empire's position towards us as Heroes of Light."

"I would be a fool to deny it," he said.

Truth was that while he was the scholar of their group, Sephiroth was far better prepared to deal with tactics then him. Genesis knew politics from the stand point of a landowner, but nothing at the scope that Sephiroth had dealt with on a daily basis. He still had a good grasp of what was needed, and he also would not deny that his skills were not the kind that an army would need, at least on the front lines. Sephiroth was, so it made sense for him to join them.

"Do try not to get yourself killed over a simple act of bravery while you're there, mm?"

It wasn't even that, the way that the offered military service had appealed to Sephiroth. Despite how well matched he was Jobs-wise, how his expertise in tactics and not to mention the role he had filled in SOLDIER all put him as a more-than viable candidate for serving at Esdham, if truth be told it was indeed that sense of 'old habits' that Genesis coined a moment ago. All throughout his existence in Crystallis thus far, the adjustment to what others might label a 'normal' life often left Sephiroth feeling like he wasn't doing enough with himself, not being so used to the mundane routines involved in daily life had him feeling somewhat short-sold.

And then there was the glory to which Genesis teased; for sure Sephiroth would do his utmost to leave his undeniable stamp on the work he would come to do.

"What do you mean by that, exactly?" Was that a hint of nervousness? More like Sephiroth was still trying to gauge exactly what had changed in his once-friend.

"I only mean what I say. I know how you can be, and without the mako in our system, you may push yourself beyond what a normal body can face," he replied, shrugging. "So paranoid, are you old friend?"

In truth he felt that Sephiroth needed reminding that he was not the same as he was back home. The world did not have mako, it did not have materia, and while these Jobs had their uses, they were not the same as what they were use to. Sephiroth needed the reminder before he did something stupid and got himself killed yet again.

"Besides, I do not want to think of you falling before we had our talk."

Edited 2015-02-20 05:50 (UTC)

The narrowing of Sephiroth's eyes again replied to Genesis where his further comment wasn't needed. Yes, adjusting from an existence which had always been heightened in one way or another from mako-infusion was taking it's time to settle but Sephiroth had been already here for half a year - did Genesis think him so adverse to change?

Even if, like the ongoing problem with the repetitive strain in his left wrist, there were a handful of habits Sephiroth had simply had for too long for them to change so easily. Besides, as his expertise in his Jobs grew and he gained strength as a result - it wasn't as bad as it had been in previous months.

"Who said anything about falling?"

They all had habits that were part of them. The mako had let them take advantage of such and Genesis knew that habits were the hardest to break, especially when they were from stubborn men like them. Genesis still had to be reminded that such things like sleep and food was necessary when he was in his maniac mode of studying, so he was sure that there were some things that Sephiroth forgot to do.

"Who says that this kind of soldier play is anything like the ones back home?"

All reasons why it was both humbling and advantageous to have a man like Angeal around. Out of the three of them, it seemed that he had adjusted the easiest and always made sure that Sephiroth got his three-square meals a day. Even if he would argue that he was more than capable of looking after himself.

For Sephiroth himself, Genesis had hit it pretty much on the head; quite often he had some strained muscle or another from over exerting himself during exercise and hydration was something he was slowly getting better at.

"I'm under no illusion of that. I've hardly the resume applicable in this different World."

"Ah, I suppose I should wish you luck in any case. It would shame our training if you do not at least manage to show them a little of your old skills."

Because as much as he was teasing Sephiroth over joining the military here, Genesis did understand the need to at least look good. They were SOLDIERs. They were not some country bumpkins fresh off a chocobo farm somewhere, but people who had spent most of their lives learning how to fight. It should mean something in this world.

The library

shinrasfinest - 2015-03-06 22:13 (UTC) - Expand

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