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melodiesoflife2016-11-10 03:30 am
acceptedoblivion) wrote in melodiesoflife2016-11-10 03:30 am
Shadows Growing In My Mind
Characters: Riku Replica (Ira) and anyone who is willing to help him out
Where: Aqures Ixen, eventually Palitutu's Lab
When: November 10th
Summary: (1) A very distressed moogle looks for Ira's closest friends. (2) Some things were better left unsaid, but Calamity Self gives less of a [KUPO!] than he himself does.
Warnings: Self-harm; mentions of physical and psychological horror/torture, death, murder, assisted suicide, and general Cloning Blues.
1. Ones I Just Can't Leave Behind...
Lin is very much in the midst of a panic this morning, having promised Ira she would meet him later after he finished his shift at the store. To be honest, she wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, she knows how much he prefers his privacy. On the other, she knew just how dangerous what he was going to do was to face alone.
"Oh, what to do, what to do, kupo?!" She paced back and forth in the living room, before a few more worried kupos escaped her. No, she- she couldn't keep her promise not to tell the others. Not when there was a chance he couldn't do it! So, she sped off as fast her tiny wings would carry could to find someone--anyone she knew he could trust. Upon finding someone, she'd likely barrel right into them sobbing. "Y-you gotta help, kupo! He- Ira's going to-!"
Breathe, Lin. Breathe.
2. I'm One of the Forgotten
"You're sure about this, kupo...?" Lin asked, holding onto Ira's crystal so delicately that she was afraid it would break if she so much as breathed on it. Yet when Ira nodded, her tiny heart seemed to stop for a food ten seconds as she fluttered in place, looking down at the crystal before nodding back. "Right..."
And before either of them could hold it off any longer, she did as bade, handing it to the other Moogles who worked at the lab. Ira himself couldn't see what they were doing to it, but his soon blood ran cold as his Dark Mode went inactive, Red Mage being the only remaining Job active as the shadows seemed to come alive in front of him, only to deposit someone who looked exactly like- Well, any Riku really.
"Surprised?" the Calamity Ira asked, a cruel but emotionless smirk crossing his lips. "I guess you wouldn't be. After all, it was you who thought it was a smart idea to face me alone." Purple eyes gleam in the light of the lab, a humorless chuckle escaping him. "Except you didn't. You knew all along that little Lin here would seek help from your 'friends'. The goody two shoes were always so easy to manipulate, even for a broken toy like us. Isn't that right, me?"
"You're-"
"So you're going to deny that, even after all the studying Cid had you do?" It's voice remained as calm and menacing as ever, as it took a few steps closer. "If I had a heart that wasn't shattered into bits, this would be where I died of laughter, Fake Me."
Ira glared, already lowering into a defensive stance as his fists clenched. "Last time I checked, you were the Shadow, not-"
"'So long as you exist, I'll be nothing more then a shadow.' Those were the words you spoke to the real deal, wasn't it?" It laughed at him, at the moogle who fluttered in front of him, defensively now. "No, if anything, you are the one, who is naught but a twisted shade of what you were supposed to be. A puppet who tried to cut his own strings, be his own person, but just couldn't shake off the shackles at your feet. The chains binding that empty heart of yours. And what's this? Now your own little puppet wants to defend you? How can you ever do that, Lin? Or rather, would you want to, knowing what he's done? The blood on our hands?"
The moogle puffs her chest, arms held out wide as a shield. S-she had to buy time, for others to get there and reassure her Hero!
Where: Aqures Ixen, eventually Palitutu's Lab
When: November 10th
Summary: (1) A very distressed moogle looks for Ira's closest friends. (2) Some things were better left unsaid, but Calamity Self gives less of a [KUPO!] than he himself does.
Warnings: Self-harm; mentions of physical and psychological horror/torture, death, murder, assisted suicide, and general Cloning Blues.
1. Ones I Just Can't Leave Behind...
Lin is very much in the midst of a panic this morning, having promised Ira she would meet him later after he finished his shift at the store. To be honest, she wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, she knows how much he prefers his privacy. On the other, she knew just how dangerous what he was going to do was to face alone.
"Oh, what to do, what to do, kupo?!" She paced back and forth in the living room, before a few more worried kupos escaped her. No, she- she couldn't keep her promise not to tell the others. Not when there was a chance he couldn't do it! So, she sped off as fast her tiny wings would carry could to find someone--anyone she knew he could trust. Upon finding someone, she'd likely barrel right into them sobbing. "Y-you gotta help, kupo! He- Ira's going to-!"
Breathe, Lin. Breathe.
2. I'm One of the Forgotten
"You're sure about this, kupo...?" Lin asked, holding onto Ira's crystal so delicately that she was afraid it would break if she so much as breathed on it. Yet when Ira nodded, her tiny heart seemed to stop for a food ten seconds as she fluttered in place, looking down at the crystal before nodding back. "Right..."
And before either of them could hold it off any longer, she did as bade, handing it to the other Moogles who worked at the lab. Ira himself couldn't see what they were doing to it, but his soon blood ran cold as his Dark Mode went inactive, Red Mage being the only remaining Job active as the shadows seemed to come alive in front of him, only to deposit someone who looked exactly like- Well, any Riku really.
"Surprised?" the Calamity Ira asked, a cruel but emotionless smirk crossing his lips. "I guess you wouldn't be. After all, it was you who thought it was a smart idea to face me alone." Purple eyes gleam in the light of the lab, a humorless chuckle escaping him. "Except you didn't. You knew all along that little Lin here would seek help from your 'friends'. The goody two shoes were always so easy to manipulate, even for a broken toy like us. Isn't that right, me?"
"You're-"
"So you're going to deny that, even after all the studying Cid had you do?" It's voice remained as calm and menacing as ever, as it took a few steps closer. "If I had a heart that wasn't shattered into bits, this would be where I died of laughter, Fake Me."
Ira glared, already lowering into a defensive stance as his fists clenched. "Last time I checked, you were the Shadow, not-"
"'So long as you exist, I'll be nothing more then a shadow.' Those were the words you spoke to the real deal, wasn't it?" It laughed at him, at the moogle who fluttered in front of him, defensively now. "No, if anything, you are the one, who is naught but a twisted shade of what you were supposed to be. A puppet who tried to cut his own strings, be his own person, but just couldn't shake off the shackles at your feet. The chains binding that empty heart of yours. And what's this? Now your own little puppet wants to defend you? How can you ever do that, Lin? Or rather, would you want to, knowing what he's done? The blood on our hands?"
The moogle puffs her chest, arms held out wide as a shield. S-she had to buy time, for others to get there and reassure her Hero!
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There is so much he doesn't know about this person now facing down his Shadow. It's the first time they've crossed paths even though in another life they've stood face-to-face. They stood in the castle of white as enemies and yelled at each other and their blades clashed so many times. And then again in the facility of white they weren't enemies, had the chance to become friends. Somewhere else Ira probably met him again too. Maybe multiple times. Now they're both here.
He knew how it felt to be forgotten over and over again, to become tired. Letting it end sometimes seemed the nicest act. But it isn't.
"I'll remember. I know that... my head's pretty messed up by everything I've been through. And that I may never remember what happened in Castle Oblivion but that doesn't mean I've forgotten you completely! You exist inside of me and I'm just like you." Maybe no one else will pick up on the significance of those last few words but Ira will. Ira and Namine too. He wasn't the real Sora - wasn't the one who'd traveled to all those worlds looking for his friends, wasn't the one who'd met both of them. Every interaction Ira had with him was theirs - moments between two replicas of the originals.
Sora motioned to everyone inside the room now. "You're going to exist inside of all these people somewhere too! You're not the only one searching for a purpose beyond their lifespan. And you're not gonna have to do it alone."
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She gives Ira a small, hopeful smile.
"You know as well as I do how finicky memories are. But they're never gone. Whether they're your memories or someone else's, the feelings behind them will remain, no matter how buried deep in the darkness they are.
It doesn't have to be anger. That sense of purpose you had before, you can find that again, too. It just takes time. More time than we'd like, maybe. But it will come."
Her voice gets soft.
"If you're tired, let us help you. Nothing ever has to be just your burden to bear. Don't wish for an end, Ira. We'll figure everything out together. You and me and Sora and all the friends here for you now. And all the friends you've made before, too. Don't let their memories slip away just like that."
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Anger swells in his chest for a moment, but he bites it back and forces himself to focus on something else entirely. Something like--... He just focuses on Ira, himself. Something else stands out, and he responds without entirely thinking it over, "If it really was your destiny and "purpose," it wouldn't have been possible to take away, idiot. By definition, destiny is something that'll definitely happen, no matter if you want it to, or not."
Well, if he's going to be here, he might as well say something. Maybe. He gives a huff-like sigh, scrubbing a hand through his hair. His next words are practically grumbled, "If you really wanna believe in crap like destinies, just make your own. If you want a purpose in life, find one. It's stupid to just stand around and focus on the past, if it bothers you this much. These idiots obviously care about you, in spite of all that. They're your friends, right? Aren't friends supposed to... lean against each other, or whatever?"
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"Wanting to have a destiny or be a hero is pretty normal. Everyone wants that. You want to make your mark and be remembered. You want to be something more than just some fleeting person in the background. It's not easy and it doesn't work out for everyone, least of all as anyone plans, but you're not a failure if that's how it all turns out."
He glanced over at Namine, curious about her talk of memories, something to ask about later, but he agreed with her here. "I'll remember you. Not because of your past or because you're a Hero, but because you're my friend...But let's be honest, you're a pretty badass Hero too." He chuckled and jabbed his thumb at his heart, "Even if something happens and I lose my memories, I'll still have you here. And maybe we can prevent that entirely if we keep fighting back against those puppeteers, right? I don't believe you're ready to leave the stage just yet, no matter how hopeless things might look sometimes."
(ooc: Oh the rapture and tragedy of FF7 and KH people in a room talking about memories)
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"I know what it's like to lose sense of your destiny but it can also mean you can reshape it. Of course I'll remember you, Ira. I mean you're...you're like a son to me!" There's a pause as she tried to piece words together after just confessing that. She cracks a small smile.
"And even if this sounds really crazy, when we finish our Hero duty here, you'll always have a home where I am. Yae and Toshi, would love to have another brother, you know? And if anyone back home wants to object, we can kick their ass together. What do you say?"
1/?
"Not alone, huh." he muttered under his breath, closing his eyes in an attempt to shut one sense down and focus on shuffling through the wide array of emotions fighting to come to the surface all at once. Emotions that were complicated further by the fact that half of them he was completely unfamiliar with, internalizing things further and further until-
2/??
again. When words that seemed to echo were uttered right by his ear. It silenced him, surprise written all over his face as aqua eyes open wide and head turns to stare at the woman who uttered them, silently asking if he'd heard that right.3/???
"T-they're right, kupo!" Lin agreed, nodding as she moved to rest her little paws atop Ira's head. What's one additional Moogle to the hug pile? "I don't care if you were made by someone else for whatever purpose, kupo. You're my hero, and my close friend. That won't change whether you succeed or fail! I will always remember you and your friends. Not even the end of the world will take those feelings away; not after the last fourteen months, kupo!" Then teasingly, she added, "Your new family, friends and I will be by your side until the end, kupo. You're just gonna have to accept that, too!"
4/????
5/I am so sorry to your inbox
"Tch. Everyone is alone at the end," the other Ira retorted, waving off both the words and the display of friendship shown.
6/No really holy crap it *keeps going*.
That's right. He already had his own reason to keep fighting, but somewhere along the line... lost sight of it. Lost sight of what was really important, instead of all these thoughts that had started circling around in his head. "Xion, Katsuya, Kiryu and the rest of the Alliance... even that sap we're based on. I'll never forget what we went through together, but I won't throw away the future to live in despair at their memory. I'll keep going, and find my own reason to live besides this guilt."
7/This is the comment train that doesn't end...
"No. I'll live for them. For myself, and for our new family."
8/It goes on and on my-
"My heart may be a fake and shattered mess hastily put back together, but it's mine. It belongs with the friends I've made, and while I may not deserve them... if that's what they and our mother think of us, then I guess I'll have to try." Light, that was going to be weird to say from now on. Though hopefully that answered a certain question Saori posed. "...I may never be a hero. Hell, I don't even want to be one, but I will fight. I will survive and do what has to be done like I always have since that day I woke to that note saying our worlds were destroyed."
"You know what you're saying, right?" the Calamity Ira retorted, for once breaking its monotone as it just.... stares... at those gathered. "We'll be destroyednothing left of us to 'survive'."
"Wrong. Or have you forgotten that promise already? Even if it means I'll fade again. If they remember me, the time we spent together, or just the feelings behind them... With their memories, I will return. Will somehow make right all the wrongs I've done. Grow strong enough to crush whatever destiny some other idiot who decided to play god has set for me. Forge my own path through the darkness to them."
9/10 sweet mother of god almost-
The codename is said with such vitriol, as the shadow stepped closer. Lin zipped from her perch to stand between the Calamity self and the rest of the group, having been warned that it could overtake the Hero. Yet it stops just short of being in arm's length once more, pointing directly at the real Ira's chest.
"Just because we were born differently... doesn't make us any less human than those who have actual parents." For once, the Other Ira smiled; even if it was a little sadly. "Remember me... Remember us. Our pride, our bonds, and the will to drive our own destiny.
"Together, those idiots won't have a use for an immune soul."
10/10 - SWEET BABY JESUS, I AM SO SORRY
"A-are you okay, kupo?" Lin asked, turning around before clinging to Ira's arm.
"Y-yeah." Seriously, what just happened?
Re: 10/10 - SWEET BABY JESUS, I AM SO SORRY
BUT nope, they'd be friends regardless. He'd promised her--and Lydia was silently promising back. She wouldn't let him face his fears alone.
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Everyone gathered around Ira, offering their own words of encouragement while Ales stood back. Ira overcame his Shadow by refusing to distance himself from others. How else was one supposed to get anything done in that case? It didn't make sense.
Hopefully he would find an opportunity to escape this scene without anyone's notice. He didn't want to confront his own Shadow in this state of mind.
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"Don't you ever pull off something like this by yourself! Lin, myself, and even Mary were worried about you!" She is merciful enough to let go after a few seconds. "Like I said earlier, you're family now."
Saori laughed sheepishly when she remembered Lydia was still there as well. "Sorry, that got a little cheesy there, huh?"
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'No, stop that.'
Pushing that thought aside he stepped forward, ready to at least put a hand on Ira's shoulder, only to flinch and take a step back as Saori began to scold him. He was silent for a second, a confused look on his face, and then he bent over laughing. After all that just happened he felt the tension he'd been feeling watching this pop like a bath bubble.
"I think if your Shadow shows up again you should just have Saori talk to it instead."
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"O-ow, hey, cut it out!" He called out, trying to bat the hands away. Gently, of course, as he knows his Jobs are both back now. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. Like he said, I hoped Lin would tell someone. Though, maybe not so many..."
He had enough skeletons that he didn't want some people to know about. Not until he trusted them enough to share that with them himself.
"A 'little'? Pretty sure any cool points I had went out the window today." For... multiple reasons, he would admit as he rubbed his now sore cheek. He also makes a face at what Cloud said last. Aw come on, not him too...!
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Not for him. It was never like that. And the image of that girl rushing in to embrace him without hesitation will forever be burned into her memory now, besides. No, it's her earlier revelation, the breathless amazement and joy that so many people accept him and love him as he is-- that, combined with the wistful knowledge that he's changed so much from the replica she used to know, that it's like their connection has been gently unraveled. Their days from Castle Oblivion are long behind him, and while it's obvious he still has many of the same pains of the past, he's become mentally and emotionally stronger, and more confident than before.
All in what seemed like a blink of an eye for her.
It's a silly thing to sad about. It's a good thing, that his life has been touched by so much positivity. And besides, their connection before was hardly the healthiest relationship anyways. She decides to blame the conflicting feelings on her new heart, and lets it keep that secret, instead offering her friend a gentle smile. Regardless of her thoughts, it doesn't change the fact that she's so, so proud of him.
"You didn't lose any points at all. Congratulations, Ira."
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"Cool is in the eye of the beholder, Ira." She added on the tail end of the blonde girl's comment, shy smile on her face. Hands moving behind her back, and honestly happy for him.
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Though he'll leave the hugging to the girls. Now that it's over, he merely gave Ira a nod of his head and a grin.
"To lose cool points, you have to have some to start with." Sora teased.
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"Gee, thanks Sora," he said with all the sarcasm he could muster, grinning back. At least before it faded, looking between Lydia and Naminé. He... really needed to talk to the latter once they got back to their house. If he doesn't pass out from exhaustion first, anyway.
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