melodiesoflife | #21 | I Will Face Myself: Sephiroth

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#21 | I Will Face Myself: Sephiroth

Who: Sephiroth (and those in attendance)
When: January 10th
Where: Aqures Ixen Laboratories
What: Sephiroth's first attempt at confronting his Calamity-self is doomed to failure. No surprises.
Warnings: Violence, selfishness, a touch of narcissism etc.
The outcome of this log cannot be averted by any character intervention but by all means come along for the CR. Next time it might be better.

The clear blue meteo-shaped crystal with the chip missing from one of its pointy tails was set firmly into the apparatus as Spencer had watched many others of his moogle-kin do on behalf of their own Heroes thus far. Indeed, the small bespectacled mog had most likely peeked in, or at least overhead more than the handful of Calamity-Self confrontations that Sephiroth had at first decided would be in his interest to attend. That opinion had been quickly destroyed.

Just another distraction brought about them by that nuisance of a Sage. Another game. Yet despite all the reservations Sephiroth himself was now here all the same. Any chance of any advantage against the inevitable climax against the Calamity couldn't be ignored so offhandedly.

As Spencer moved away from the console and back towards Sephiroth's side, the silver-haired warrior took a breath as the skills to his Warrior job slipped away, he went about steeling what he could of his resolve against whatever he might be presented with here. Outwardly he appeared more ready for it than at any point in recent months, inside, he felt sick.

Behind the small group that was in attendance, a deep resonance hummed on the air. Within the seconds that followed it changed in frequency until it settled into a low, derisive chuckle which seemed for a time to come from all around. The manifestation of Sephiroth's 'Shadow', his mirror image but with purple eyes, flicked into reality as if one turned on a light switch. Leaned casually against the wall right next to the door that would lead out into the hallway, a smile stretched wide across his face, twinkling victory in those blazing purple eyes which still remained with Sephiroth's own unique slits.

"...I was starting to wonder how long it would be, before I'd get to see the disgrace you’ve made of us. Myself."

Having been one of the first to spin around, Sephiroth's hand went back on his left-side. To grasp for a handle to the weapon that wasn't there. He'd figured it was sensible, being as he was to accept whatever this being ended up reflecting at him, already the logic behind that decision was crumbling. He felt even more vulnerable suddenly, without it there.

"I...don't-"

"See it that way? Truth hurts." It had no qualms in interrupting, it seemed. The being with the purple eyes shrugged and finally hauled itself from leaning against the wall. It took proud, confident strides in the direction of its host, stopping exactly what would be a sword's-length away if Sephiroth's signature blade were in play. Although Sephiroth himself managed to repress the resultant flinch, it was black-and-white to the one made up of such repressions.

"Pathetic. For all that we could have been. For all that we really are.

"When are we going to stop pretending that it's really all OK? Doing something about the fact that we can't go in the direction that we're being pointed along due lack of anywhere else to look-"

"That's enough-"

So much for that attempt to assert his control over the situation that his consciousness was already giving red-flags, the Shadow wouldn't be so easily quietened now that it had finally been given the means to have a voice. "Exactly the point. It's not enough!"

"Kup-ooo-!" With no warning, Spencer barreled into Sephiroth's opposite side, and knocked him to the side out of the striking range as quickly the Shadow made to follow up it's words with a more physical beating. The fist which had been intended for inside Sephiroth's gut instead struck the console within which the crystal was set while with a flash of silver hair, following the roll he made to put distance between himself and the advancing Shadow, backing up quickly.

"-don't..."

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Ales' eyes darted to the console. He didn't want to be the one to suggest that Sephiroth give up on his attempt, but until they could find a way to make the Shadow stop and listen for half a minute, it might be their only choice.

Not that Ales would allow that this soon. "What coward? Sephiroth's one of the bravest men I know! Even if he is afraid, he still does his duty!" Despite the similarities in their issues, it did not occur that the repression of their fear was the real threat. Ales was afraid to reach out to people and hid the scared, lonely Teensie. To him, this was just a soldier denying his worth.

K'pandolu stared, caught in a kind of horrified fascination until the Shadow used Sephiroth's momentum to push him further, quickly taking a few steps out of the way although she kept her eyes on the two.

"I think I can see where that's coming from," she said, slowly, one ear twitching towards Ales for a few moments. "When you have something to focus on, it's easier to move, to push yourself towards that goal. But the future- the unknown- that's where you need trust, isn't it? Trust that it won't all fall over. But- we're all striving towards that- we can help."

"Oh we always were the most excellent at Duty." The Shadow hotly remarked back at Ales' comment. "Always been the best at being the perfect SOLDIER. Telling ourselves we're doing the right thing, and reaping that euphoric notion that there was a purpose. To the point where all we could be was bitter over the fact that it didn't transfer like that when we arrived here."

The Shadow stopped then to stretch it's grin even wider; it was taking great pleasure in seeing just how deep the real Sephiroth's scowl could go. Purple eyes shined with all of the things that it could say next, like a balloon so full of air that even the most slight prickly contact would burst it wide open.

Sephiroth glanced to Ales and then K'pandolu, lingering on the miqo'te for a beat longer than he'd first intended. A tiny twitch to one side of his mouth betrayed that even though she hadn't hit it on the head, that was indeed one of the larger concerns he had about himself. However, that was an issue Sephiroth himself was already attempting to deal with personally, and so didn't manifest so much in the Calamity-self before them.

It was an incredibly swift movement with which the Shadow moved next, closing the distance with the launch of an athlete into a sprint and literally smashing into Sephiroth, face first. Almost as if it were a heavy drop of rain colliding with a larger body of water, shadowy remnants splashed out from his body, drifting like fine feathers to the floor but otherwise the Shadow was gone.

"-no." It was something of a clenched whisper uttered as the original Sephiroth fixed his gaze on the console in which his crystal was placed as a part of this procedure. He knew well enough the heavy, yet at the same time thrilling, sensation that he was feeling beneath his skin was the Shadow fighting to overcome his will but at the same time he also understood that it was too late to abort the procedure. Spencer, stood not too far out of sight of that console, backed up towards the back edge of it...the small mog had a good idea of what might be coming next.

The Shadow reacted immediately to that thought, and whatever it did inside Sephiroth, it shattered something deeper than just will as the tall man went crashing to one knee, a hand clenching at a spot at the center of his body as if it were isolated to just one part. He tilted his head forwards and crunched his eyes shut, not wanting to let the Shadow see as it worked its way all over the stubborn rejection.

Ales didn't have a quick retort for that. He himself had problems with his purpose, though he came from the opposite end of the spectrum. Ales spent a good portion of his life finding a sustainable purpose, then finding a purpose that would drive him to glory. He never understood what it was like to have expectations that didn't crumble when he was a child.

To him, it was unthinkable to be used to Sephiroth's position.

He stood back, only able to watch as the two joined together. He didn't know what that meant. Sephiroth couldn't have accepted it, but there they were, the two SOLDIERs merged into one. This couldn't be good. This couldn't be good.

Fighting the urge to keep up appearances, he looked at the other Hereos in the room with concern in his eyes. What is going on? What should I do? was the silent message.

The separation from everything he'd known- the loss of structure, pillars torn apart. It made a kind of sense, and K'pandolu flattened her ears, gaze dropping for a moment. "Trying to find something similar to what you," she murmured, "but- that's only natural, isn't it?"

She started when the two merged, puffing up in alarm, and gave Ales an anxious look in return. She hadn't seen this kind of internal fight before, either, making it equally new territory. Her first thought was to try to encourage him, though, and she took a step forward, still clearly alert. "Sephiroth- hold fast! You can come through this."

For all appearances, following K'pandolu's words a stillness seemed to settle around Sephiroth. He froze on the spot, there on one knee with his eyes closed in a more relaxed manner than he had been in moments previous. There seemed to be a air of tranquility about him, as if despite his Shadow's hostile attitude he'd somehow found the will to accept it-

Until suddenly his balance lurched forwards. Sephiroth have might face-planted into the floor if a hand didn't suddenly come from no where and smashed itself loudly onto the ground before him. It wasn't quite a bone-shattering thump, but it was certainly indicative of someone who either didn't know their own strength, or how easily they might be hurt.

What followed was a deep, throaty chuckle which soon grew to shoulder-shaking proportions in a matter of moments. As if the sound Sephiroth was making was just producing more amusement and thus making him laugh louder. It wasn't a pleasant laugh; of the type that a schoolyard bully might use should he have the world crumpled at his feet. Not far off a psychopath gone off the rails.

"You can't....do ANYTHING-" At the same time Sephiroth rose his head, locking eye contact with the closest observer. There was the twisted smile that had painted the face of his Calamity-self moments ago, though there wasn't any sign of those purple-eyes any longer. Instead flaring green eyes with Sephiroth's slitted pupils betraying the feeling of elation at first, before snapping to their smallest lines, vertically cutting the mako-enhanced color in half.

Now that the possession was complete, it was time to begin to put the World to rights.

"Now you'll all be made...to understand."

The hand that was planted on the floor curled into a fist, as if it might be holding the sword that Sephiroth had decided to lock away before coming to attempt this confrontation. About half-way through an attempt at summoning a Shadow of Masamune, Sephiroth changed his mind. Instead, he blinked, smiled and cast Fulminating Oblivion out from himself in as large a blast as he could make it.

[OOC post for Shadow!abilities as I'm probably going to need it.]

At the sight of that eerie smile, Ales hid behind a computer just in time to protect himself from the worst of the attack. The magic still reached him, but his grip on the many handles saved him from toppling over form the shock waves. He peeked out, terrified of having to fight a powerful enemy, yet also annoyed at all this hard work he had to put into just to show that he cared about other people.

He grimaced. If he didn't stop Sephiroth now, they would lose a strong ally in the upcoming fight.

"Arm Shot!" Without waiting, he shot the silver-haired target in hopes of disabling it, though luck was not on his side that moment. While somewhat injured, he Calamity Knight could still use his moves.

So Sephiroth was facing his shadow. Good! Rukia had been pleased to hear it when he'd told her, and reacted pleasantly to the invitation. As soon as she'd finished up her duties in Esdham, she'd join her crew to return to Aqures Ixen the morning of his confrontation. There would be plenty of time afforded to her to get settled and arrive at the appointed time to lend her aid. Honestly she was rather flattered that he'd invited her, since she knew just how personal the experience could be. He trusted her, and that meant a lot to Rukia.

But here's the thing about airships: sometimes they break down. One of the engines had blown out, grinding one of the starboard propellers to a rusty halt, and they'd had to set down on the Calm Plains to fix it. While Rukia could have flash stepped ahead, she wasn't about to abandon her crew when this place had become so dangerous. Besides, she knew Sephiroth's capability to remain calm and cool under pressure. They still had some hours left, so the matter wasn't pressing.

Rukia battled against the fiends that sought to prey on the downed ship, driving them off until the vessel was sky-worthy once more. They'd be cutting it close, but she felt she could still make it to the lab on time, or just a few minutes late. It wasn't as if she would truly be needed anyway, she thought, and when she reached the laboratory doors at long last, she hastened ahead, ready to apologize for her unexpected tardiness.

She was just in time to witness the tail end of Sephiroth's brutal assault iris out against the others in the lab.

Eyes wide in shock, she snapped to attention, shedding her gigai at the door to let it fall in a loose heap and drew her zanpaku'tou. Instinctively she moved in front of Jade, palm braced behind her blade to stand in ready defense. "What went wrong?" she asked, keeping her dark eyes fixed on her fellow colonel. The spiritual power he was radiating was almost suffocating. It felt tainted. It felt wrong.

With Beastmaster as her other Job, she didn't feel it was entirely sufficient to depend on those skills just now. She needed to gauge Sephiroth's strength before she risked bringing out her pets. If possible, she would rather subdue her friend, and her summoned creatures weren't exactly gentle or subtle.

Jade braced himself against the blast. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it couldn't be helped. Although he had only seen Sephiroth truly enraged once, that brief glimpse of the darkness within had been enough to tell him this Shadow, more than any other, couldn't be allowed to leave the room.

Rukia's arrival was a relief. Jade wasn't equipped for close quarters combat and didn't particularly want to take the brunt of the Shadow's onslaught again. "Just about everything. Watch your attacks -- I can't bring him back if he dies."

Or so the Sage's instructions had said. Jade wasn't about to test it. He quickly cast Gift of Crystallis on the party to stave off some of the damage and keep everyone healed up. They could probably finish this quickly if everyone went all out... but that could mean accidentally killing Sephiroth if they weren't careful.

Cloud had known that Sephiroth was doing this, but things were complicated between them for the past few months. They'd barely talked, and he'd been honestly a little surprised to see him at his own Shadow Encounter the month after their argument at the Fairy Tail Guild. Since then they'd kept their distance, with Cloud putting off looking for him while Sephiroth did as he usually did.

Cloud was unsure if he wanted to return the favor. He was unsure if Sephiroth wanted it. A chocobo's insistent bites at his neck and rear set him on his way in the end, but even then he was a bit reluctant on his path. The blonde basically wound up walking the long way to the lab with a few looped blocks as he changed his mind to and fro. But he eventually arrived, and not a moment too soon it seemed. Or perhaps a moment too late.

"Damnit!" The blast and the reaction to it rang in he air and a procrastinating walk turned into a panicked dash as he ran into the room. Or at least that was his intent. Rukia's body laying there in the middle of the floor made him stop in shock long enough before he saw her standing inside as well, and spared him from running right into Sephiroth's energy blast. Setting his resolve he shouldered his shield and ran into the room.

His eyes said it all as they settled on his Hero. He wasn't shocked so much as upset. He didn't want this to happen. He hoped it wouldn't. But at least, he reminded himself, it wasn't the Other Him. Not yet. "Sephiroth..." With his Paladin powers as his main set with Onion Knight he cast Cura on everyone he could, but his eyes remained on the man before him.

That blast hurt, and K'pandolu hissed, shaking her head to clear it as she tried to recover. Strong, but- what else ought she to have expected, really?

She glanced at the new arrivals in some surprise, but quickly settled- hopefully they'd be able to bring this to an end more peacefully with all of them. Cloud's Cura helped too, and she nodded to Jade. "Right," she said, and cast Blizzara to try to keep Sephiroth from moving. Easier to say, though, she imagined, assuming he wouldn't have the same reluctance.

In the meantime, Sephiroth had managed to pull himself back up to his feet while those in the room recovered -or just joined- in the wake of the energy blast he'd unleashed. The perpetually toxic smile across his face seemed to indicate he was satisfied enough with the outcome for the time being, but that promise of so much more destruction lingered there just behind his expression.

He still seemed to have his left hand poised out away from his one side, as if expecting there to be a weapon there which the 'real' Sephiroth had made the effort to lock away securely; just in case this exact worst-case would play out. Never mind, he had all the powers that Narayana granted, alongside a very special combat-Job that no one else had-

Ales' Arm Shot struck first, knocking the outstretched arm back and away with a frustrated sounding gasp. K'pandolu's Blizzara spell chilled the air directly around him and then with the precursor of a loud crackling sound, the ice shot up his legs from the ground up, encasing his frame up until just passed the knee. For what it was worth it snapped Sephiroth's attention directly to the small miqo'te, where Ales' attack had been only a minor inconvenience by comparison; his left-arm still felt impaired some, but it was time to blow that all out of the water.

"Tch-"

A rush of energy -not so much a blast as a wave- went out from Sephiroth as Combat Mode was initiated and quickly followed with Narayana's Blessing; the temporary ice-y prison he was held in yawned before the inherent strength bonus that the custom job provided then delivered his escape - shattering ice into tiny particles all around as he forced a Dash towards K'pandolu.

He might not have a sword, but that closed fist coming around from his right side might be strong enough to crack concrete on it's own.

"Understood," Rukia curtly replied. She had no wish to harm Sephiroth either, but if they couldn't defeat him now, he might never regain his sanity. They had no choice but to fight, and hope that they were able to cleave him from his shadow.

Rather than unleashing a damaging attack, Rukia instead thrust one palm forward, with only her index and middle finger raised. "Bind! The wandering knave. Bakudou number one: Sai!"

A flick of her wrist to turn her palm upward as she sharply drew a single foot-long line, etched with the glow of her reiatsu. It was the spell she'd used to yank Ichigo Kurosaki's arms behind his back and force him to the ground the first time they'd met, but Ichigo had been just a boy whose spiritual potential had not yet been unlocked. Sephiroth was a beast, and the weak spell likely wouldn't have much effect. At best, it would only hold him for a few moments. Nonetheless, she would rather use too little force than too much. He was nakama.

"Leg Shot!" Sephiroth was fast, and with such a powerful Hero with zero reasons to hold back, they all could die in this room. This shot was not so much to save K'pandolu as to keep everyone else safe, Ales included. Fortunately, luck was on his side for that instant, as the shot successfully restricted Sephiroth in his movement. He would briefly be unable to physically move across the room so quickly, but that didn't restrict his long-range skills.

Hopefully it would go into effect before the fist contacted with someone's face.

For all that he'd advised caution, the combination of Combat Mode and the sheer explosive power of the Shadow meant they really couldn't afford to hold back too much. Jade considered buffing their attack power, but that could be risky. Instead, he was ready with a Curaga to support K'pandolu if she got hit.

With Haste active on the party, they should at least be able to keep up with the Shadow's speed. Unfortunately the cramped room wasn't a good place to use Ultima. This limited Jade's methods of attack. After a beat, he decided to follow K'pandolu's example and cast Blizzaga to slow the Shadow down.

She'd hoped the ice would last longer than a few minutes, and K'pandolu had a moment to grimace before she was shifting, trying to activate Transience before the strike hit. With that, and Rukia and Ales's attempts to bind, it helped- but the Dash was still aimed true, and K'pandolu let out a pained sound on impact, staggering back. But still- the fight wasn't done with, and she didn't want to let the others down. Since Ice was the last element she'd reached for, it was the easiest to leap to her mind, though her aim with the Blizzara was less careful this time.

Cloud shook his head. He was hoping Sephiroth would find what he was looking for, maybe be able to face down the things that were bothering him whether or not he could give voice to them. He knew this was a possibility but he hoped Sephiroth would be able to rise above it. He hoped that the Hero would be able to prove it to himself.

But now this was all wrong, and while everyone was fighting he couldn't bring himself to do it. Hefting the shield he brought, not the new one he was having made, he braced himself behind it and stood Sentinel.

"Sephiroth!"

Between Rukia, Ales' and Jade's combined efforts to hold back the battering ram of all the betrayals Sephiroth had ever felt, the eventual connection of his fist with K'pandolu was as a result a lot easier to roll with than it might otherwise have been. The brief binding line had briefly pulled the tops of his arms into his torso and thus dispersed much of the momentum, the Leg Shot had caused a small skip of a stumble before Blizzaga had gone so much further than K'pandolu's first delicate attempt to restrain him.

Sephiroth found that the majority of his body ended up encased in ice, and it had only just started to fracture inside as the follow-up Blizzara came to reinforce it. He was denied of even his double-action that Narayana's blessing had granted a moment ago, and would be stuck there for at least this turn. It didn't take much to see that strength which was making the ice creak, though.

"How dare you. Isn't that always the way though...always someone there to step in...yet never really able to resolve anything." The Shadow made Sephiroth's voice sound almost as if he were genuinely offended. As Cloud then shouted his name, shining eyes locked onto the other Hero.

"Ah...here comes the real Hero, hm?"

The voice might as well have been literally dripping poison, for the way that he spoke at Cloud.

Rukia's eyes narrowed. There was real malice reflected in that stare, and she wasn't about to let it escalate any further. Were Sephiroth here to face his shadow, she might have held herself back. But until the two were separated, there would be no progress. This attempt had been a failure. Perhaps once the shadow was defeated, Sephiroth might be more open to a second chance, but first things first. With all of those spells hammering into him and holding him fast, his strength was likely at an optimal low. There was no better time to strike.

Activating her Flash Step, her figure blurred before suddenly reappearing just behind Sephiroth. Rather than raising her sword, however, Rukia raised the edge of her hand, and slammed it at the sensitive spot where the base of the skull connected to the neck.

It worked on Sparks when he'd been trying to arrest them all for stealing an airship. It might work on Sephiroth too. Hopefully she wouldn't make too great a habit of unceremoniously knocking out her friends and dragging their unconscious bodies off for safekeeping.

[OOC: Up to you if it works or not!]

He was frozen for now, but Ales held back with his puppet prepared to shoot the moment Sephiroth escaped. The real problem would be in separating the real Sephiroth from the one that came from the crystal.

"Step in? As with now, threatening to kill us all and help destroy the world?" Ales had seen the glint in Rukia's eye, familiar to him even after one year. He had been with her when they stole the airship during the time loops. He had been focused on piloting while the others distracted Sparks, but he could draw attention away from Rukia nonetheless.

"Better than letting you kill a Hero like some kind of hothead."

Cloud didn't want to fight Sephiroth. He didn't want to reach their destiny in this world or another. As long as he could make the choice he intended to avoid raising his sword against the man. As the others scrambled to figure out how to deal with him, he lowered his shield slightly as he approached. Cloud remained wary and on guard, but he didn't care to see Sephiroth as an enemy, even if he was a threat.

"Sephiroth...this isn't..." No, that wasn't true. "This is just the you that you're worried you'll become. You don't have to deny your fear, and you don't have to succumb to it either. You just need to be honest with yourself." At least, Cloud hoped it was fear that drove this version of him to the surface.

He raised his right hand, empty, and held it out in offering to the contained Shadow. He knew that the Silver Elite he knew and idolized was still in there.

"We don't have to do this. No matter how inevitable it may seem, as long as we have our memories of this world we have the choice. We can make the choice to not do this. You're more than just the result of an experiment by someone in another world."

A moment to breathe, at least, though it was clear it wouldn't last long if they left him alone. K'pandolu shifted, readying herself to strike, though her eyes flicked to the others briefly. Some sort of plan seemed to have formed- and she spoke quickly, ready to move as the chance arose. "You say that as though we'd be thinking of replacing you. Hardly the case, I'd like to assure you."

There was little Jade could do until the Shadow made its next move. He remained on standby, ready to heal.

Never resolving anything... That would be a sore point for Sephiroth, wouldn't it? Given how many times his mind had come close to cracking, it was no wonder the lack of any proper resolution would weigh on him.

Still. After all this time, he hadn't broken.

"I guess we'll just have to keep stepping in as many times as it takes."

Whether Cloud got through to Sephiroth or Rukia successfully knocked him out, either way was fine. So long as the situation was brought to a quick end.

"Of course I'm more than some project number!" It snapped strongly back at Cloud, the green fire in Sephiroth's eyes inexhaustible.

The Shadow was still contained within it's ice-y prison but by the cracking that could be heard every now and again it might not be for long. That said, it wasn't long before Sephiroth's face started to look particularly colder; a pale complexion starting to grey out.

"It's about time that I started to demand the type of respect that I deserve. For all the perfection that I strive to achieve, all those missions I go above and beyond. Always performing at my absolute peak of ability, despite however I might feel. I did all of this, on my own-"

The frustrated emphasis laid bare perhaps one of the issues at the core of Sephiroth's Shadow; he craved some higher acknowledgment for his own strengths and achievements, so desperate for the purpose that for the most part still felt hollow. That he had an existence to live for that wasn't part of the machinations of others. The truths about his origins he'd never really dealt with, just buried away and carried on.

It seemed that something of a scab had been picked away, but in the next instant Rukia flash-stepped in behind Sephiroth and his consciousness was jolted sharply, much like the impact from her hand. His silver head lolled forwards as for a good few heartbeats it seemed her attack had completely succeeded. Until the Shadow still seemed to try to bring Sephiroth back around from it, listing his head to one side even though his eyes were closed and forcing a slurred mummer-

"...all betrayed...in the end..."

Still, it didn't seem that the vessel could be brought to fight anymore after Rukia's blow, and if the key to separating the Shadow was Sephiroth being unconscious then it didn't seem all that far off, either.

Cloud still wouldn't raise his hand against Sephiroth. He listened, his eyes getting wider at the rant and he nearly cried out as Rukia struck him. She wasn't wrong to do it but for a moment he was terrified she'd done more than she did.

He bowed his head, unsure of what to do to appease his hero or his Shadow. He always thought he was doing his part to encourage him, and to also give him the credit he deserved (and then some). Was it not enough? Was it too much? Was having other Gaians like him around a harsh reminder of what he was and what he wanted?

"I'm....sorry....I don't know what to do to help." He balled his fist, the strap of his shield clenching around his forearm. He wanted his friends to be happy, but he didn't know what he could possibly do in the face of this anger. "Everyone has treated you as a friend an ally since we got here. Bad things happen, things out of our control, but we've all been here for each other. I don't know...I don't know what more we can do to prove this to you."

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#21 | I Will Face Myself: Sephiroth

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