melodiesoflife | When I’m scared I want to hear you shout out

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When I’m scared I want to hear you shout out

Who: Tear Grants & Ace
What: Tear had promised to explain what had happened while Ace was gone, and now it's time to fulfil it.
When: February 7th
Where: House B-14
Warning: Strong Feelings and likely death mention. Also, chocobos.

There was no measuring the immense relief Tear had felt when Ace's letter had arrived to her the night before, reassuring her that he had returned safely from his trip. She had read it over and over since receiving it, perhaps too many times, given the folds of the paper she held were now entirely flat as she sat in the sitting room of her home, waiting for any indication of his arrival just as he had promised.

Yet even with the few extra days to think about it, the girl was still somewhat at a loss for how to deliver all the information he had asked for. As much as she would have wanted to plan it, the nature of such a truth meant that there was no guarantee their conversation would go in the direction she had prepared for. Knowing this, all she could do was hope she was that she would have the strength to continue through with it no matter what happened, in delivering the knowledge he deserved to know.

However, the anxiety still twists her stomach uncomfortable when she hears someone approaching, setting down the letter and rising to her feet to answer the door. Before she does, she takes a few breaths to calm herself enough in order to face him—what would it do to him if she had insisted he go, only to return and find her in such a state? It would be almost cruel to do that.

Only when she has eased her nerves enough and he made his presence known does she open the door, a faint smile of relief ready on her lips.

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Greeting her would be a sight somewhat unusual, but not entirely unexpected if Tear could claim to know the person standing in front of her at least a little bit. Perched comfortably in the cadet's hair was a tiny ball of feathers painted evenly in crimson, almost matching the colour of the cape the boy always wore proudly.

And it wasn't there just for decoration, by any means. As if prompted by an invisible hand, the ball moved. A soft kweh-in-progress escaped the Chocobo's tiny beak, preceding Ace's own attempt at explaining the situation at hand - or, on his head, to risk a more literal approach. Soon, the blond realized how pointless it would be in the light of things, with the tiny guest already speaking for themselves. As the bird only gleefully continued its chirping as seconds passed, all that was left was to follow-up with a greeting.

"It's good to see you."

Although at first glance, one could rightfully accuse him of behaving tactlessly, it wasn't as if he had throughout remained oblivious to the state his friend was in. With all the good the journey had brought, its soothing atmosphere and pleasant company, nothing had been able to take his mind away from where it belonged. Here, with her.

And he knew, for a fact, that he had been able to incite a smile on her lips a couple of times, something that always gave him the strangest sense of self-fulfillment. Something that he hadn't been able to achieve before. He knew how to listen, he had been told on a few occasions, and there had been those claiming his song had given them comfort. All of these memories he held dear to his heart - but to be able to carry a bit of happiness into someone's life, as well? That was new.

With that also came the awareness that the issues ran so much deeper than he could determine on his own, and it would certainly require far more than that to put them to rest. They really needed to talk, and only honesty could carry them through - but if he could first manage to lighten up her mood in the process, that would count for something.

It was definitely unusual, meaning Ace's efforts were temporarily successful as Tear blinked up at the sight of the feathery ball chirping from its seemingly comfy perch. After a few more seconds of staring she raised her hand to half-cover her mouth as a soft giggle escaped past her lips, a reaction at both how incredibly odd and like him it was to show up with a creature nestled in his hair, and just how unimaginably cute everything about the sight of the pair before her seemed.

"It's good to see you too, Ace. But..." Pulling the hand away from her face, she reached up to gently take grab hold of the chick, practically embracing the boy in the process until she pulled back. "Did you really walk all the way here together like this?"

Come to think of it, just why did he have such a tiny creature with him anyway? Mind now thoroughly occupied with questions regarding his presentation, she offered the ball of feathers back to the cadet while also motioning for the two to come into the house. It wouldn't do to have him walk all the way here just to have him stand outside in the cold, least of all with something so small and precious.

All the way was a relative term, considering he had been forced to drop by his house before coming over in order to complete his preparations for the following day, so hearing that, he let out a small sound of amusement.

"It's safer this way." With his hair momentarily Chocobo-free, the boy quickly ran his fingers through the blond strands and patted them into place... more or less. Suddenly realizing how odd the method might have sounded, he slipped into a more matter-of-fact tone as he allowed himself to elaborate. "I can't let her roaming free with the cat around," the accursed creature, "and this somehow seems to have stuck."

Much to his silent satisfaction, Tear had been quick to take the chick into her care, and he had the very intention of letting things stay that way for a while as he shook his head at the offer. "She could use a warmer pair of hands for the time being." And perhaps longer, if the strangely expectant glint in his eyes was any indication. "The young ones do not develop feathers as resistant to low temperatures."

The boy carefully stepped into the house himself, if only to stop and await further instructions. "Are you sure I will not be disturbing anyone on the evening before the journey?"

"I see..." It was a sound explanation as she vaguely remembered the cat that would sometimes prowl around when she stopped by for their evening lessons. If the feline had become interested in the chick, no wonder the top of Ace's head had become its safe haven.

Noticing his efforts to tame the tousled strands, Tear reaches up to pat some of them down herself, holding the tiny creature close to her body protectively now that he had mentioned the vulnerability to the cold as she shook her head. "It's Jade, he had probably finished preparing for this trip before he even announced it to everyone else."

Though part of her also wondered just how many precautions he might have put in place for the whole expedition, given what they recently experienced. Therefore it was probably for the better if they at least stayed out of his way the best they could, even though at the same time they needed the privacy themselves.

Chewing her lip softly as she stroked the chick softly, the girl looked up at him apologetically. "I would offer my room, but... I share it with Anise and Zack moved into the spare one, which only leaves us here, the kitchen, or the basement."

Ace instinctively tipped his head slightly downwards, allowing the girl to continue with what had slowly become a ritual of sort. She would rarely miss the opportunity to subtly point out the disorder of his hair with that simple gesture, even on the days where the boy could have sworn that it looked fine.

Well, he had his suspicions, too, but anyway....

His eyes caught the sight of the bird's attempts at making herself a new home out of the melodist's hands, as she rolled around and pressed its tiny beak softly against the warmth of the accepting hold. It made it all too easy to let his attention fade for a brief moment until Tear's statement brought it back.

"... Ah," he breathed out, gaze shooting up to meet hers. Such reassurance changed little, however, since Ace shared her unspoken sentiment. Regardless of the man's habits and dedication to work, it seemed like a poor idea to risk the possibility of imposing at such time.

Sensing her concern, he was quick to protest, though. "Tear, it's fine." The corners of his mouth curled lightly into a wistful smile. "All I want is to speak with you," pausing, he reached out to offer the tiny chick in her grasp a gentle pat, "and then hear how you're going to name her, once you've decided. I'd appreciate someplace quiet, myself."

The same wistful smile is echoed in her own expression, though there was still the sliver of guilt that made its way into her heart upon hearing such sincere words. So she simply nods, motioning for him to follow her into the basement even though she knew it wouldn't exactly be the warmest place in the house; she would simply have to find a solution once they were there.

But his second request makes her pause, glancing at him with curious eyes.

"Name her...?" The girl then looked down at the the nestling chick, who had appropriately decided to start chirping up at her as if encouraging the cadet's wish. Though she had had the sneaking suspicion of what his reasons for bringing her were, it was still something else to hear him outright imply it.

"You mean you haven't come up with one yourself?" It was better to be sure than to outright assume, even if there was no denying just how attached she was already becoming.

Neither Ace could deny having become rather protective of the tiny one, and it was for that reason in particular that he had decided to entrust the Chocobo into the hands of someone capable of being a good caretaker. It wasn't merely his own obvious fondness that had influenced such turn of events, for the melodist had already displayed how easily expressing kindness came to her on multiple occasions.

And that very trait lay at the core of things, rather than actual experience that could be gained on the way. More than that, he could always teach her, just as she had previously made the effort to help him develop his singing skills.

Timidly turning his head to the side, unable to carry the charade any longer under her watchful stare, he slowly began descending the stairs as he spoke.

"Why would I be the one to do it? All I can do is request that you take good care of her."

The girl simply looked after him instead of following all the way inside, utterly bewildered by the turn of events as the creature in question continued to press its beak into her hands. To suddenly be entrusted with something so small was a little overwhelming, especially when she knew so little of Chocobos to begin with.

"You were the one who brought her!" Nevertheless she lifts the chick up to nuzzle her affectionately, her hold still careful and secure as the tiny one attempted to preen a strand of hair that had slipped forward. "Wouldn't she be better with you...?"

It wasn't so much that she didn't trust his judgment, but she wanted to be sure as she made her way in properly, which was fortunately finished enough that it wasn't all that unwelcoming in its appearance. At the very least there was a spacious couch for them to sit on, which is exactly what she did before carefully patting the seat beside her.

It wasn't until he had sat down that he decided to address the girl's questions, shifting a bit in his seat so as to keep an eye on her better. After all, it was important how she really felt about this, and despite the subtle amusement previously present in his tone, he didn't want Tear to get the impression that he was merely messing around.

"Honestly, now," he began as a light smile pulled at his lips, "I won't, of course, pressure you into doing anything you'd rather not be a part of. I was curious what your reaction would be, though I did mean every word I said."

Looking down on his hands, he then lifted one of them to rub the back of his neck in a manner otherwise unlike him, and one he had unknowingly adapted through spending time with a certain mutual friend. Likewise, his voice had an edge of shyness to it.

"I would look out for her, too, and teach you a couple of things if you wanted me to, so just..." he breathed out, softly, "tell me what you think about the idea."

Her reaction and thoughts about the Chocobo were probably obvious enough, with the way she lowered the creature into her lap yet still stroked her feathers both carefully and tenderly with her thumb. Looking up at the boy and noticing the familiar body language, all she could do was smile fondly.

"I just wasn't expecting it, and it's a lot of responsibility." It wasn't as if she had gone out and captured the Chocobo herself—this was a baby, whom if she let go of would probably suffer from the chill of the winter air. But knowing she would have Ace's support did make the task seem less daunting.

"If you think I'm capable... then I'll do my best to take care of her." Pausing, she glanced back down at the chirping one, tilting her head and for a split second looking worried.

"That is... if she'll have me."

Ace similarly tilted his head to the side, unknowingly leaning in rather close, pressing his shoulder lightly against hers - all to stare down on the little being that already seemed to have caused a lot of concern. It was only natural to experience such feelings, however, if one was really serious about taking care of what ultimately was a small, helpless living being.

"She's...." The cadet's voice seemed filled with wonder as the feathered ball was now glancing up at them both, repeatedly tipping her head in confusion. "... really cute."

It belatedly occurred to him that Tear's presumption had probably meant to incite a different answer that would be more specific, but he couldn't help himself. Returning to his original position and straightening up in his seat, the boy slipped into a more formal tone as he went to address the melodist's worry.

"I'm sure of it. Give it some time and see for yourself."

Time was something they had a lot of in store, that night, as he strongly believed it wouldn't be the shortest, nor the easiest conversation that was awaiting ahead.

Tear had of course noticed their close proximity, but rather than say anything or even be flustered she simply enjoyed its warmth, however briefly it had lasted. Hearing his observation nearly makes her laugh again, just a little amused at the bluntness of such a statement.

"She is, I'm sure she'll be just as much once she's grown." Watching the bird continue to peer up at them both, she sighs quietly to signify the acceptance of her new role as her caretaker. "I'll have to prove your faith hasn't been misplaced."

Though as welcome as the baby was, her last words had also reminded her of the original goal of their meeting tonight was. Falling silent, she pulled the chick just a little closer as she tried to once again steel herself for what would inevitably come.

And just like that, his thoughts wandered to the same place hers resided in, somber in their nature and shielding a secret that was supposed to teach him what he didn't understand, or so the melodist's words still rang in his ears. Feeling the tension slowly invade the air they breathed, he sighed to himself after a longer pause.

"... I don't like the sound of that. Feeling like you have to prove something to me, like this is what it's all about." To further emphasize that, the cadet shook his head. That he was no longer referring to her new task seemed rather clear.

"Tell me how it was, and I'll understand." A subtle frown appeared on the boy's face. "I'll understand everything."

Tear couldn't quite stop the corners of her lips curling upward into a faint smile, though there was hardly anything cheerful about it. In her mind, she did have something to prove to him after knowing what she could do in the future, one that she felt might have been different if only a certain number of people had stayed with her to keep her from walking away.

Steeling herself, she doesn't try to meet the cadet's gaze as the explanation began, looking instead to the fragile life tucked into her hands.

"On the fifteenth of last month, a small group of us went to Mysidia to speak with the Sage there, after he promised to answer any questions we had." Breathing out softly, she continued.

"As you know, while we were there a number of us found ourselves suddenly losing consciousness. I'm told it was only for an hour."

Even now, it was hard to believe that so much could be experienced in so little time. But the restless nights since we're proof of it.

"In that hour, we lived out the future of the next two years, a future built by our own choices."

Whereas Tear might have preferred to focus her attention elsewhere, his was entirely on her, as he followed the movements of her lips so as not to miss any word that left them. All the while, he had to hold back his own curiosity from showing before it could prove to be a hindrance, keeping his distance to let the girl speak freely.

It started out almost innocently, an extension of the brief knowledge he already held, one could think.

And then, suddenly, the cadet's eyes widened.

"Lived out the future...." Reiterating that part of Tear's monologue quietly, he could feel a chill slowly enveloping his chest. Ultimately, he couldn't even bring himself to finish as it dawned on him, the heavy weight of the faulty assumption he had made previously without much thinking.

Two years. A broken sound left his mouth, and hands pressed more firmly against his knees while the boy fought to keep his composure. He was no longer certain what it was he meant to ask about, instead deciding to hold onto her story, regardless of how it would unfold. In that moment, the boy could easily connect with her unwillingness to talk of the future he already knew would have been consumed by chaos, the future that he had missed while she had been forced to witness it with her own eyes.

It all turned his voice into sad whisper. "... You hadn't seen me for far longer than a month." Except it was only a part of the truth. A small part, that he now selfishly uttered despite realizing there must have been so many more obstacles on her lone path.

Hearing such a sound, Tear's first instinct had been the desire to reach out and place her hand over his, to ease his discomfort however she could. But not only was she stopped by the tiny chick still in her grasp—her own self-restraint held her back, a small voice telling her that it wouldn't be right for her to do that yet, if at all. The explanation had only just begun, and already it was hurting him.

At most, she could only nod at both his statements, lips pressed together tightly. It was only after a few moments of thick silence that she tried to speak again, her voice soft in her efforts to try and keep her own composure.

"Three months after receiving knowledge from the Sage, an incident happened at the laboratory that brought back the crystalline beings some of the others have talked about." The strength she had to place into keeping her words from trembling was more than she had expected, meaning she had to stop to breathe again before trying to continue again. "I don't know how it started, but it costed us all dearly in the end."

At the same time, another reasoning slipped into her thoughts: that future wasn't promised. After all she had done in Auldrant, it was a hope that she had to cling on to no matter what pain it might cause. Saying it out loud didn't mean it would come true, she had to believe that.

But grief was a powerful motivator, and the thought of what could happen in the coming months meant she had to look at him, the hair that had fallen in the way only partially obscuring the efforts to keep herself in control.

"That might have been when our group truly started falling apart, and that was the last time I last saw you."

Edited 2016-02-10 03:02 (UTC)

Ace didn't quite perceive things her way. The words themselves would have lacked the capacity to hurt if it hadn't been for the meaning behind them, and that meaning was a sum of the girl's own experiences. The knowledge of that pushed everything else back into the depths of his thoughts, and not for a single moment he thought of himself as the one deserving consolation. In this arrangement, he was merely the listener.

When the initial shock wore off and left a sense of emptiness in its wake, at the very least it gave the boy a certain advantage in maintaining his calm exterior. It was hardly a reason to celebrate, but it worked as a response if he could stop his emotions from getting in the way.

In any case, Ace hadn't expected to return to the Crystal's teachings so soon.

... But what a lousy student he had become. "Huh?" Or had he simply decided to forget at some point? "I don't understand."

Having already denied the possibility of his own involvement, the boy couldn't hide his surprise at the last part that clearly implied otherwise. The questions regarding the nature of the experiment that had been at the tip of his tongue faded in favour of befuddlement.

For most, it would have been a bizarre feeling, to learn of the actions that your other self had committed without you ever knowing, but Ace? Ace knew better, the images of the info file at the laboratory flashing back in his mind at the thought. In a way, it was like another spiral.

With a subtle difference, however, that sent his focus in a different direction. After all, he would have kept his feelings and convictions that would have certainly survived these three months. More than that, he doubted to ever see them change, these particular ones that made his tone soft and reassuring, almost.

"I wouldn't have left you."

Why had she phrased it like their parting had been a final one? Maybe it was a trick on the Sage's part, introducing chaos and playing with people's minds already sounded like an inherent quality of a vision.

And then, there was.... Awaiting her reply, Ace tried to stifle his lingering suspicion by firmly pressing his lips together.

Though he meant to be reassuring, his soft tone plunged the remorse she felt for her actions further into her heart, struggling against the vengeful thoughts that had plagued her every time the topic of the vision had come up. Lips parted, she continues looking at him for a few more moments before turning away and shaking her head so that he wouldn't see the way her lip trembled.

"I know you wouldn't have." At least, he wouldn't have left the girl who was still committed to a just path, the one who had wanted to fight for a solution that did not cost so many lives. Though the many of the details of what they had seen were becoming lost, there was one thing that happened that she remembered quite clearly, perhaps the only one that had brought her any semblance of happiness.

To bring it up now would be almost as good as chaining him down in the melodist's opinion, something she didn't want to do when Ace still had every opportunity to turn away. If by some miracle it were to happen anyway, it wouldn't be because of something that was in that future.

So she closed her eyes, despite knowing he couldn't see her face turned away like this anyway.

"You were the second person to die, Ace." A long pause followed, knowing he would need time to register that fact before she continued, much more softly than before. "We were expecting the fallen to simply return or go into crystal stasis if we weren't fast enough, but that wasn't what happened."

Even if it was just an echo, something she hadn't actually lived through yet, the girl could still remember the fear that overtook her with the last squeeze of his hand in hers, the cold realisation of then undeterred by the warm, fluttering heartbeat of the tiny chick as it spread into her fingers.

If that was the case, perhaps Tear would be surprised to find her partner quietly accepting the grim news. The tension that had accumulated in his body up until that point suddenly vanished, and the boy let his head rest against the back of the couch. Eyes remained open and watchful as ever, but their only target was some further unidentified point in the distance.

The silence lingered in the air for a while longer, only occasionally disrupted by soft cries of one, oblivious bird.

For some reason, she decided to specify the order, which brought the first question to his mind. If he had died second, who was the first? How had it all broken out, the melodist claimed not to know, but surely, she would have at least been able to recall something. While that alone raised another set of questions, a sudden realization overshadowed all of them combined, the impact of it pushing the cadet forward in his seat.

"... The moment we die, our worlds die with us." Somewhere deep in his mind, he knew it had never been merely a theoretical assumption, but a real threat. One that Tear's explanation made all the more tangible, effectively draining all the colour from his face. Imagining the land they had fought so hard to save being turned to dust as a result of his own failure, was something Ace could not bear.

Needless to say, it took him a moment to re-organize his thoughts, pushing the very one the melodist had placed such an emphasis for into the back of his mind. It all began to make sense in the given context. Awareness of one's mortality would have undoubtedly dealt a massive blow to the Heroes' spirits, introducing that element of uncertainty everyone feared. Even if they weren't meant to return, so much more was on the stake than their own, singular lives, and the small metal plate he kept close to his heart reminded him of that.

The boy lifted his eyes, feeling yet another chilling wave wash over him when they linked with hers, but he then found himself unable to look away. While aiming to calm down the thoughts racing through his head, he had completely disregarded her own feelings. To think he had almost felt relief, for a split second or so, given the reassurance he hadn't made the choice to push her away, like he'd feared.

There was no relief to be found behind that somber expression.

With an unsure motion, he reached out to push the stubborn strand of hair obscuring her eyes away from her face. Unexpectedly, his hand began to tremble upon making the contact, and as a consequence he pulled it away, silent. To be honest, he didn't really know what else to say.

Edited 2016-02-10 07:16 (UTC)

His initial acceptance had indeed surprised her, almost worrying the melodist until it became quite clear that he had come to understand the gravity of what she meant, his reaction strong enough that this time there was no stopping her reaction to try and reach out for him. Ultimately, she was left with her hand half-outstretched before bringing it back toward herself, knowing there was little she could do to ease that despair.

Yet she had also almost pulled back when he brushed her hair away, stopped only by his trembling. The whole time they had been foolish in assume they would continue to circumvent death, becoming far too comfortable and reckless until it had been too late. Had they been more careful, the tragedy might have been prevented... Ace wouldn't have had to lose his world.

It was a truth she knew her future self had battled with constantly, after feeling life leave the boy right in her arms. But there was no denying the choice she had made in the end, and she could never apologise to him enough for it.

"Ace..." Her voice was strained, small beneath the weight of her own emotions even though she believed they couldn't compare to his. Maybe it was enough to communicate that there was still more to the tale, for once again she was failing to find the right words to say.

There was no need for stating the obvious. Of course there would be more, for the world had never revolved around him. Even now, it seemed like they had merely managed to scratch the surface of these three months with the information she'd given him, but he figured it would be better to have the whole picture before requesting any details. Save for one, perhaps.

Which could turn out to be relevant, or maybe he just wanted to learn sooner than later.

"... Who else died that day?"

It was gradually becoming easier to keep his emotions in check the further he went. Although acknowledging the possibility was a logical step to consider, he could never think of it as a cue to surrender in a battle that hadn't even started. If anything, it only made him want to fight harder. Know more.

Ace closed his eyes, simply letting these thoughts run their own course until they no longer posed a threat to his composure. Even if he lacked the strength to sound encouraging, he could still try to communicate his willingness to understand, like he'd promised he would.

"Tear," he looked at her again, "please, go on."

If he felt he was ready to continue, who was she to deny him? Nodding slowly, she took the time to try and collect her thoughts again, so that she could reach past the dry feeling in her throat.

"Sephiroth was the first." Though she would by no means call herself close to her superior officer, his loss had been an undeniable blow on the group's morale. "The other was a man named Vincent, he tried to protect us so we could try and save you both."

Everything had happened so quickly, and unless he wanted to ask for more specific details of the aftermath there was little else she could offer him in terms of answers. There was of course still the specifics of what the incident had entailed, but it was harder to explain that when she hadn't been there when it started.

"Terra was the one who discovered his crystal had shattered, and yours did the same almost right after."

So there he had his answer that couldn't have sounded any less satisfying to his ears. Whether he recognized the figures or not, and he certainly did know the former, any name being spoken would have evoked an identical, numb feeling within his chest.

All he could muster was a barely audible hum of affirmation before his hands wandered to open the small pouch at his side in which he always carried his trusty deck of cards, now additionally hidden within an ornate case the girl had gotten him as a Starlight gift.

But it wasn't his weapon that he sought, instead retrieving another item located next to them that held even more value, for it was his own life and the lives of many others, sealed within a blue crystal feather that gleamed even in the dim light of the room.

The boy then carefully closed his fingers around it, lowering his hand to rest it against his knee. It felt like enough, for now.

"You've said that things changed, after the incident. If the energy within our crystals had been altered by those... entities," he didn't know how else to name them, "what did it mean for all the rest?" His tone was thoughtful and collected. "I know of the conflicts."

Or he thought he did, at the very least.

"It meant that we were out of options." Though it wasn't entirely true. She knew of other groups that had their own plans, but now she could scarcely remember the details of them. But subconsciously, the way her stomach twisted told her that she hadn't been in agreement with them.

"Those of us who had spoken with the Sage were already at odds with those who hadn't. Up until then we had still tried to work together, but after the tension between the groups escalated." Though no one had openly blamed anyone else for what had happened, there was an overall sense of responsibility and guilt that hung over those who had gained that knowledge. That was what it had seemed like, to her.

"We had ultimately come up with one solution to subdue the Calamity... To my understanding, the Heroes of long ago came up with something similar. Because of that it wasn't perfect, but it was the best we had."

Were she not holding on the the tiny chick, her hands would have been clenching together tightly as she glanced at the crystal Ace held, a powerful reminder of the plan she had supported and its consequences.

"The plan involved sacrificing crystallised Heroes, along with their worlds."

Patient as he were throughout the explanation, the feeling of disbelief steadily rose within him until his stare could no longer contain it, and so he hung his head, defeated.

"That isn't a solution, that's desperation."

Maybe he wasn't entitled to speak of circumstances he had never been a part of, slipping into a judgmental tone as if he could claim to understand what sort of thoughts had driven them to achieve that conclusion, and none other. What was that had driven her to accept the unforgivable, since the implication behind the words made her involvement an indisputable fact. What else could it have been, if not repeating the mistakes of the past at the cost of countless lives? It wasn't a choice anyone should have been allowed to make.

It frightened him to know how many others had contributed to making that twisted plan a reality, but as long as the one whose version of the story interested him the most sat beside him, he couldn't let his focus wander off anywhere else. Yes, he found it painful to believe in.

No, he could not bring himself to react with anger, and even disappointment was merely a fleeting emotion that soon gave way to sorrow. She was stronger than that, he knew.

"And through that desperation, you thought you could take it upon yourself to bear that burden."

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