☾ mystearica aura fende ( tear grants ) (
cantante) wrote in
melodiesoflife2016-02-07 04:44 pm
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Entry tags:
When I’m scared I want to hear you shout out
Who: Tear Grants & Ace
What: Tear had promised to explain what had happened while Ace was gone, and now it's time to fulfil it.
When: February 7th
Where: House B-14
Warning: Strong Feelings and likely death mention. Also, chocobos.
There was no measuring the immense relief Tear had felt when Ace's letter had arrived to her the night before, reassuring her that he had returned safely from his trip. She had read it over and over since receiving it, perhaps too many times, given the folds of the paper she held were now entirely flat as she sat in the sitting room of her home, waiting for any indication of his arrival just as he had promised.
Yet even with the few extra days to think about it, the girl was still somewhat at a loss for how to deliver all the information he had asked for. As much as she would have wanted to plan it, the nature of such a truth meant that there was no guarantee their conversation would go in the direction she had prepared for. Knowing this, all she could do was hope she was that she would have the strength to continue through with it no matter what happened, in delivering the knowledge he deserved to know.
However, the anxiety still twists her stomach uncomfortable when she hears someone approaching, setting down the letter and rising to her feet to answer the door. Before she does, she takes a few breaths to calm herself enough in order to face him—what would it do to him if she had insisted he go, only to return and find her in such a state? It would be almost cruel to do that.
Only when she has eased her nerves enough and he made his presence known does she open the door, a faint smile of relief ready on her lips.
What: Tear had promised to explain what had happened while Ace was gone, and now it's time to fulfil it.
When: February 7th
Where: House B-14
Warning: Strong Feelings and likely death mention. Also, chocobos.
There was no measuring the immense relief Tear had felt when Ace's letter had arrived to her the night before, reassuring her that he had returned safely from his trip. She had read it over and over since receiving it, perhaps too many times, given the folds of the paper she held were now entirely flat as she sat in the sitting room of her home, waiting for any indication of his arrival just as he had promised.
Yet even with the few extra days to think about it, the girl was still somewhat at a loss for how to deliver all the information he had asked for. As much as she would have wanted to plan it, the nature of such a truth meant that there was no guarantee their conversation would go in the direction she had prepared for. Knowing this, all she could do was hope she was that she would have the strength to continue through with it no matter what happened, in delivering the knowledge he deserved to know.
However, the anxiety still twists her stomach uncomfortable when she hears someone approaching, setting down the letter and rising to her feet to answer the door. Before she does, she takes a few breaths to calm herself enough in order to face him—what would it do to him if she had insisted he go, only to return and find her in such a state? It would be almost cruel to do that.
Only when she has eased her nerves enough and he made his presence known does she open the door, a faint smile of relief ready on her lips.
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But his second request makes her pause, glancing at him with curious eyes.
"Name her...?" The girl then looked down at the the nestling chick, who had appropriately decided to start chirping up at her as if encouraging the cadet's wish. Though she had had the sneaking suspicion of what his reasons for bringing her were, it was still something else to hear him outright imply it.
"You mean you haven't come up with one yourself?" It was better to be sure than to outright assume, even if there was no denying just how attached she was already becoming.
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And that very trait lay at the core of things, rather than actual experience that could be gained on the way. More than that, he could always teach her, just as she had previously made the effort to help him develop his singing skills.
Timidly turning his head to the side, unable to carry the charade any longer under her watchful stare, he slowly began descending the stairs as he spoke.
"Why would I be the one to do it? All I can do is request that you take good care of her."
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"You were the one who brought her!" Nevertheless she lifts the chick up to nuzzle her affectionately, her hold still careful and secure as the tiny one attempted to preen a strand of hair that had slipped forward. "Wouldn't she be better with you...?"
It wasn't so much that she didn't trust his judgment, but she wanted to be sure as she made her way in properly, which was fortunately finished enough that it wasn't all that unwelcoming in its appearance. At the very least there was a spacious couch for them to sit on, which is exactly what she did before carefully patting the seat beside her.
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"Honestly, now," he began as a light smile pulled at his lips, "I won't, of course, pressure you into doing anything you'd rather not be a part of. I was curious what your reaction would be, though I did mean every word I said."
Looking down on his hands, he then lifted one of them to rub the back of his neck in a manner otherwise unlike him, and one he had unknowingly adapted through spending time with a certain mutual friend. Likewise, his voice had an edge of shyness to it.
"I would look out for her, too, and teach you a couple of things if you wanted me to, so just..." he breathed out, softly, "tell me what you think about the idea."
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"I just wasn't expecting it, and it's a lot of responsibility." It wasn't as if she had gone out and captured the Chocobo herself—this was a baby, whom if she let go of would probably suffer from the chill of the winter air. But knowing she would have Ace's support did make the task seem less daunting.
"If you think I'm capable... then I'll do my best to take care of her." Pausing, she glanced back down at the chirping one, tilting her head and for a split second looking worried.
"That is... if she'll have me."
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"She's...." The cadet's voice seemed filled with wonder as the feathered ball was now glancing up at them both, repeatedly tipping her head in confusion. "... really cute."
It belatedly occurred to him that Tear's presumption had probably meant to incite a different answer that would be more specific, but he couldn't help himself. Returning to his original position and straightening up in his seat, the boy slipped into a more formal tone as he went to address the melodist's worry.
"I'm sure of it. Give it some time and see for yourself."
Time was something they had a lot of in store, that night, as he strongly believed it wouldn't be the shortest, nor the easiest conversation that was awaiting ahead.
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"She is, I'm sure she'll be just as much once she's grown." Watching the bird continue to peer up at them both, she sighs quietly to signify the acceptance of her new role as her caretaker. "I'll have to prove your faith hasn't been misplaced."
Though as welcome as the baby was, her last words had also reminded her of the original goal of their meeting tonight was. Falling silent, she pulled the chick just a little closer as she tried to once again steel herself for what would inevitably come.
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"... I don't like the sound of that. Feeling like you have to prove something to me, like this is what it's all about." To further emphasize that, the cadet shook his head. That he was no longer referring to her new task seemed rather clear.
"Tell me how it was, and I'll understand." A subtle frown appeared on the boy's face. "I'll understand everything."
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Steeling herself, she doesn't try to meet the cadet's gaze as the explanation began, looking instead to the fragile life tucked into her hands.
"On the fifteenth of last month, a small group of us went to Mysidia to speak with the Sage there, after he promised to answer any questions we had." Breathing out softly, she continued.
"As you know, while we were there a number of us found ourselves suddenly losing consciousness. I'm told it was only for an hour."
Even now, it was hard to believe that so much could be experienced in so little time. But the restless nights since we're proof of it.
"In that hour, we lived out the future of the next two years, a future built by our own choices."
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It started out almost innocently, an extension of the brief knowledge he already held, one could think.
And then, suddenly, the cadet's eyes widened.
"Lived out the future...." Reiterating that part of Tear's monologue quietly, he could feel a chill slowly enveloping his chest. Ultimately, he couldn't even bring himself to finish as it dawned on him, the heavy weight of the faulty assumption he had made previously without much thinking.
Two years. A broken sound left his mouth, and hands pressed more firmly against his knees while the boy fought to keep his composure. He was no longer certain what it was he meant to ask about, instead deciding to hold onto her story, regardless of how it would unfold. In that moment, the boy could easily connect with her unwillingness to talk of the future he already knew would have been consumed by chaos, the future that he had missed while she had been forced to witness it with her own eyes.
It all turned his voice into sad whisper. "... You hadn't seen me for far longer than a month." Except it was only a part of the truth. A small part, that he now selfishly uttered despite realizing there must have been so many more obstacles on her lone path.
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At most, she could only nod at both his statements, lips pressed together tightly. It was only after a few moments of thick silence that she tried to speak again, her voice soft in her efforts to try and keep her own composure.
"Three months after receiving knowledge from the Sage, an incident happened at the laboratory that brought back the crystalline beings some of the others have talked about." The strength she had to place into keeping her words from trembling was more than she had expected, meaning she had to stop to breathe again before trying to continue again. "I don't know how it started, but it costed us all dearly in the end."
At the same time, another reasoning slipped into her thoughts: that future wasn't promised. After all she had done in Auldrant, it was a hope that she had to cling on to no matter what pain it might cause. Saying it out loud didn't mean it would come true, she had to believe that.
But grief was a powerful motivator, and the thought of what could happen in the coming months meant she had to look at him, the hair that had fallen in the way only partially obscuring the efforts to keep herself in control.
"That might have been when our group truly started falling apart, and that was the last time I last saw you."
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When the initial shock wore off and left a sense of emptiness in its wake, at the very least it gave the boy a certain advantage in maintaining his calm exterior. It was hardly a reason to celebrate, but it worked as a response if he could stop his emotions from getting in the way.
In any case, Ace hadn't expected to return to the Crystal's teachings so soon.
... But what a lousy student he had become. "Huh?" Or had he simply decided to forget at some point? "I don't understand."
Having already denied the possibility of his own involvement, the boy couldn't hide his surprise at the last part that clearly implied otherwise. The questions regarding the nature of the experiment that had been at the tip of his tongue faded in favour of befuddlement.
For most, it would have been a bizarre feeling, to learn of the actions that your other self had committed without you ever knowing, but Ace? Ace knew better, the images of the info file at the laboratory flashing back in his mind at the thought. In a way, it was like another spiral.
With a subtle difference, however, that sent his focus in a different direction. After all, he would have kept his feelings and convictions that would have certainly survived these three months. More than that, he doubted to ever see them change, these particular ones that made his tone soft and reassuring, almost.
"I wouldn't have left you."
Why had she phrased it like their parting had been a final one? Maybe it was a trick on the Sage's part, introducing chaos and playing with people's minds already sounded like an inherent quality of a vision.
And then, there was.... Awaiting her reply, Ace tried to stifle his lingering suspicion by firmly pressing his lips together.
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"I know you wouldn't have." At least, he wouldn't have left the girl who was still committed to a just path, the one who had wanted to fight for a solution that did not cost so many lives. Though the many of the details of what they had seen were becoming lost, there was one thing that happened that she remembered quite clearly, perhaps the only one that had brought her any semblance of happiness.
To bring it up now would be almost as good as chaining him down in the melodist's opinion, something she didn't want to do when Ace still had every opportunity to turn away. If by some miracle it were to happen anyway, it wouldn't be because of something that was in that future.
So she closed her eyes, despite knowing he couldn't see her face turned away like this anyway.
"You were the second person to die, Ace." A long pause followed, knowing he would need time to register that fact before she continued, much more softly than before. "We were expecting the fallen to simply return or go into crystal stasis if we weren't fast enough, but that wasn't what happened."
Even if it was just an echo, something she hadn't actually lived through yet, the girl could still remember the fear that overtook her with the last squeeze of his hand in hers, the cold realisation of then undeterred by the warm, fluttering heartbeat of the tiny chick as it spread into her fingers.
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The silence lingered in the air for a while longer, only occasionally disrupted by soft cries of one, oblivious bird.
For some reason, she decided to specify the order, which brought the first question to his mind. If he had died second, who was the first? How had it all broken out, the melodist claimed not to know, but surely, she would have at least been able to recall something. While that alone raised another set of questions, a sudden realization overshadowed all of them combined, the impact of it pushing the cadet forward in his seat.
"... The moment we die, our worlds die with us." Somewhere deep in his mind, he knew it had never been merely a theoretical assumption, but a real threat. One that Tear's explanation made all the more tangible, effectively draining all the colour from his face. Imagining the land they had fought so hard to save being turned to dust as a result of his own failure, was something Ace could not bear.
Needless to say, it took him a moment to re-organize his thoughts, pushing the very one the melodist had placed such an emphasis for into the back of his mind. It all began to make sense in the given context. Awareness of one's mortality would have undoubtedly dealt a massive blow to the Heroes' spirits, introducing that element of uncertainty everyone feared. Even if they weren't meant to return, so much more was on the stake than their own, singular lives, and the small metal plate he kept close to his heart reminded him of that.
The boy lifted his eyes, feeling yet another chilling wave wash over him when they linked with hers, but he then found himself unable to look away. While aiming to calm down the thoughts racing through his head, he had completely disregarded her own feelings. To think he had almost felt relief, for a split second or so, given the reassurance he hadn't made the choice to push her away, like he'd feared.
There was no relief to be found behind that somber expression.
With an unsure motion, he reached out to push the stubborn strand of hair obscuring her eyes away from her face. Unexpectedly, his hand began to tremble upon making the contact, and as a consequence he pulled it away, silent. To be honest, he didn't really know what else to say.
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Yet she had also almost pulled back when he brushed her hair away, stopped only by his trembling. The whole time they had been foolish in assume they would continue to circumvent death, becoming far too comfortable and reckless until it had been too late. Had they been more careful, the tragedy might have been prevented... Ace wouldn't have had to lose his world.
It was a truth she knew her future self had battled with constantly, after feeling life leave the boy right in her arms. But there was no denying the choice she had made in the end, and she could never apologise to him enough for it.
"Ace..." Her voice was strained, small beneath the weight of her own emotions even though she believed they couldn't compare to his. Maybe it was enough to communicate that there was still more to the tale, for once again she was failing to find the right words to say.
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Which could turn out to be relevant, or maybe he just wanted to learn sooner than later.
"... Who else died that day?"
It was gradually becoming easier to keep his emotions in check the further he went. Although acknowledging the possibility was a logical step to consider, he could never think of it as a cue to surrender in a battle that hadn't even started. If anything, it only made him want to fight harder. Know more.
Ace closed his eyes, simply letting these thoughts run their own course until they no longer posed a threat to his composure. Even if he lacked the strength to sound encouraging, he could still try to communicate his willingness to understand, like he'd promised he would.
"Tear," he looked at her again, "please, go on."
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"Sephiroth was the first." Though she would by no means call herself close to her superior officer, his loss had been an undeniable blow on the group's morale. "The other was a man named Vincent, he tried to protect us so we could try and save you both."
Everything had happened so quickly, and unless he wanted to ask for more specific details of the aftermath there was little else she could offer him in terms of answers. There was of course still the specifics of what the incident had entailed, but it was harder to explain that when she hadn't been there when it started.
"Terra was the one who discovered his crystal had shattered, and yours did the same almost right after."
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All he could muster was a barely audible hum of affirmation before his hands wandered to open the small pouch at his side in which he always carried his trusty deck of cards, now additionally hidden within an ornate case the girl had gotten him as a Starlight gift.
But it wasn't his weapon that he sought, instead retrieving another item located next to them that held even more value, for it was his own life and the lives of many others, sealed within a blue crystal feather that gleamed even in the dim light of the room.
The boy then carefully closed his fingers around it, lowering his hand to rest it against his knee. It felt like enough, for now.
"You've said that things changed, after the incident. If the energy within our crystals had been altered by those... entities," he didn't know how else to name them, "what did it mean for all the rest?" His tone was thoughtful and collected. "I know of the conflicts."
Or he thought he did, at the very least.
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"Those of us who had spoken with the Sage were already at odds with those who hadn't. Up until then we had still tried to work together, but after the tension between the groups escalated." Though no one had openly blamed anyone else for what had happened, there was an overall sense of responsibility and guilt that hung over those who had gained that knowledge. That was what it had seemed like, to her.
"We had ultimately come up with one solution to subdue the Calamity... To my understanding, the Heroes of long ago came up with something similar. Because of that it wasn't perfect, but it was the best we had."
Were she not holding on the the tiny chick, her hands would have been clenching together tightly as she glanced at the crystal Ace held, a powerful reminder of the plan she had supported and its consequences.
"The plan involved sacrificing crystallised Heroes, along with their worlds."
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"That isn't a solution, that's desperation."
Maybe he wasn't entitled to speak of circumstances he had never been a part of, slipping into a judgmental tone as if he could claim to understand what sort of thoughts had driven them to achieve that conclusion, and none other. What was that had driven her to accept the unforgivable, since the implication behind the words made her involvement an indisputable fact. What else could it have been, if not repeating the mistakes of the past at the cost of countless lives? It wasn't a choice anyone should have been allowed to make.
It frightened him to know how many others had contributed to making that twisted plan a reality, but as long as the one whose version of the story interested him the most sat beside him, he couldn't let his focus wander off anywhere else. Yes, he found it painful to believe in.
No, he could not bring himself to react with anger, and even disappointment was merely a fleeting emotion that soon gave way to sorrow. She was stronger than that, he knew.
"And through that desperation, you thought you could take it upon yourself to bear that burden."
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"It was." There was no point in disputing the observation when it was entirely true. The knowledge they had received enlightened them to how hopeless the situation was, and as time passed it only became more so with the continued growth of the calamity. "Several months after the incident in the laboratory, those who still wanted to find another way took it upon themselves to hide the crystallised bodies at an undisclosed location."
Except the way he had phrased his last statement didn't quite sit well with her. It had certainly been her intention, the responsibility she shouldered so certain others wouldn't have to, but the truth was that she may as well have given up upon accepting it, or so she thought now. Tear knew she had thought somewhat differently in the future.
"I was part of the squad tasked with retrieving the bodies once we discovered the location, through any means necessary. Before that, I worked for others who were more proactive about fulfilling our goals."
And then, despite herself, she smiled. Small and bitter, reflecting her own disappointment and remorse.
"Nearly a year had passed since we spoke with the Sage, when I made that decision. That was as long as I could hold on to the hope of another solution before I became tired with sitting back and finding nothing."
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Retrieving the bodies, through any means necessary.... Having been raised for the sole purpose of becoming a soldier, Ace did not have to be lectured on the importance of taking more extreme measures in order to reach one's goal. Despite their formative nature, the months he had spend in Crystallis so far hadn't managed to make him lose sight of those basic principles; that wasn't the point.
Placed in the correct context, all of these supposedly dry phrases form an image of a world where individuals, tempted by a promise of resolution, become just the force everyone had been fighting against. Once again, he had not been there to make all of those decisions in anyone's stead, but it can't have been merely a coincidence that the new-old memory the stasis had granted him could have been an answer to this particular situation as well.
The future could only be gained through cooperation and strong faith.
And judging by the broken smile that tugged at the melodist's lips, he had no doubts that she'd eventually realized the errors of her path.
"I don't have any reason to be upset with you, Tear. I've asked you to tell me all of these things, and you did."
There is no point in being so hard on yourself. Drawing in a breath, he then leaned his head against her shoulder and continued in a quiet voice.
"I just wish you had been able to hold onto the hope you believed in."
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"What I did was of my own volition, are you sure there really is no reason to be upset?" As far as she was concerned, it felt as if she had broken his trust. How often had she visited his grave in that future, wondering what he would say to her with every action she took when she was certain he would have disapproved?
More than that, the vision also brought with it an uncomfortable realisation—the understanding of her brother's resolve and dedication to his goal, in their own world. He had been willing to give up everything to do what he thought was right, including abandoning her. Though she had similarly done the same, Tear hadn't thought herself capable to sealing her heart to the degree she had in that future, of leaving that last important person who had still believed in her.
It was that particular memory that made her start trembling again, biting her lip and finding herself leaning against the cadet in turn before she could stop. Of all the regrets she had about that future, the image of that farewell still haunted her the most.
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"Leave that question for those who had been hurt."
Though he didn't mean to inflict pain with those words, it wasn't as if he could completely disregard the weight of the actions she had undertaken on her own. Not everyone moved on at the same pace, some never did. Regardless of her motivations, the girl had made the decision to become associated with that group, and thus, could not just escape the consequences that came with it. For her own sake, it was better that she acknowledged her errors and moved on, free from that weight.
After a while of hesitation, the blond put the crystal back to where it belonged within the confines of his bag, and then gently pressed his fingers against the melodist's trembling arm. Motioning at the small being in her hands that was becoming increasingly befuddled, he finally spoke.
"It's all right, you can give her some space." Ace mustered up a light smile. "She'll never develop real wings if you keep her in such a tight lock."
Even if it was certainly true, as he would have never lied if it put the animal's life at risk, there were of course also other reasons behind his sudden shift in their conversation.
After all, the very moment she would release her hold on the feathered creature, that would give him an opportunity to reach out to take her hand in his and intertwine their fingers, the way they always had, or so it seemed.
"... Would you mind hearing me out for a moment?"
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Not quite making amends, because there could be no atoning for it when it hadn't even happened yet, but more a desire to do what she could to prevent it from happening at all.
So she accepts the responsibility all over again with a firm nod, closing her eyes until he unexpectedly returned her attention to the small being still held firmly in her grasp. Blushing for a moment, she carefully uncurled her fingers so that the bird would be free to roam as she wished, which was exactly what she did as she waddled into the girl's lap instead, chirping curiously as she ventured further and the warmth of Ace's hand replaced hers.
"What is it...?" He had patiently listened to her explanation, and now it was her turn to do the same with just as much respect as he had still granted her with.
... bless the only other verse that still sort of fits the music when translated
official translation why do you have to be so difficult
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a repeat, because no other icon seems appropriate for THIS
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