melodiesoflife | #16 | Can't undo the past

Entry tags:

#16 | Can't undo the past

Characters: Sephiroth [OPEN]
When/Where: 16th June - Aqures Ixen. Set at Palitutu's laboratory but can run-in around the City.
Summary: About a week ago, a certain file containing highly-sensitive and potentially damaging information regarding a particular Hero of Light was made available publicly while it's owner was off working at Esdham. Now that Sephiroth is back in Aqures Ixen, this is a matter (ie. locking it back up) that takes priority. However, there might be a few individuals who take the opportunity to address it, for good or ill.
Warning(s): The usual; in particular there is a potential for abrasive words completely intended to divert the subject.

When he'd requisitioned the urgent shuttle back to Aqures, Sephiroth had made a point for an early morning arrival. However, it was more like late afternoon by the time he arrived at the airport. Little for him to complain, given as resources were as stretched as they were. Still, even with his military pack still strapped to his shoulders, there was no slowing to the pace at which he urgently marched through the streets with naught but his destination in mind - it had been a long time since it had been so important to get to that certain premises.

Perhaps coming at late afternoon might actually be a blessing in disguise; there couldn't be all that many people working at the laboratory at that hour. Less people to risk drawing eye contact with, even less that might stop him - with idle chit-chat or otherwise. Even Terra, she should be at home already and even if she wasn't yet, she disliked the laboratory just as much as he did.

His backpack was already half off a shoulder even before Sephiroth entered one of the empty rooms that held a lone terminal, and it was quickly crashed atop the table while at the same time he reached into an inside pocket to retrieve his crystal and placed it next to the terminal where Sephiroth pretty much slid into the seat before. One of the many tails of it's meteor-shape had been chipped at a little -his contribution towards Jade's work in the previous month- but otherwise the glinting blue gem hadn't changed it's hue hardly at all in recent months --still sitting at around the 80% that anyone might have been able to discover about it over the last week.

Long fingertips tapped away at the computer as he quickly found his path through the various screens -having done this a handful of times since they'd first been leaked in the wake of Palitutu's escape- and pulled up the index page which held all of his particulars. Sephiroth scowled to himself and ran a hand back through his hair, separating strands out where it had been tied up for most of the journey he'd taken.

Of course, there was no way of knowing how many times this might have been opened in the last week, and he wasn't about to go and find a hacker who might be able to find out either.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

For all the calm that Sephiroth was displaying, the Barkeep waved his arms around and dramatically shrugged at his inquiry.

"I'm not a mind reader. Would love to have the ability, but it ain't part of the Jobs I got." Mental note: find a Job combination that allowed him to read minds. "I'd think that you got some deep-seated rage issues stemmin' from the whole super soldier infused with radioactive life force or somethin'. There's no way that can be good for your brain."

There was no logical reason for destroying an entire planet, whether it be Gaia or Crystallis. For all he knew, the villains behind that were just bored or enjoyed the thrill of destroying lives.

"Tifa told me a lot 'bout all the trouble you get up to in your future. You make a complete one-eighty and start killin' folks left and right. You can't blame me but be concerned that you're gonna break composure here and do somethin' dangerous. Not 'become a god' dangerous, but dangerous all the same."

He'd managed it thus far, but as the Barkeep came around to 'deep-seated rage issues' Sephiroth's urge to fold his arms up over his chest won out. At the same time, the taller man tilted his head down towards the shorter one so that his partly raised eyebrow could clearly be seen. His expression read clearly; 'Really? We're gonna visit this?'

As the tirade went on, easily leading into events that Tifa had explained; about Nibelheim in particular, Sephiroth drew a deep breath in, raised his head away and blew a short puff of air out of his nose away from the both of them. It wasn't a comfortable conversation to be having in the street, at all.

"Firstly. Allow me to put some perspective to you that you must have missed that first time we spoke; said radioactive life-force you refer...I wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for those experiments. Moral or immoral as they might be."

It was clear it was taking Sephiroth a lot of effort in organizing his thoughts, and trying to communicate his outrage as calmly -and as a result, stiffly- as possible to Mordecai.

"As for your concerns. I don't have an answer. I've no way of knowing the exact trigger, aside from the fact that it may well have already been primed years ago...even with my very conception. But I do know one thing-"

Try as he might, there is no blunting what could easily be taken as a threat if the Barkeep weren't to back down a few pegs.

"-you wouldn't be standing here, still, if I were to flip like you say."

Mordecai had expected more of an emotional outburst, but barely-contained rage was close enough. He didn't trust people who hid their emotions. Sparks had little care for things that didn't involve him or his work, and he was tired of all these outlaws he had to arrest. Red expressed her anger by punching things, and while he was of the silently stewing type, Mordecai knew her well enough to guess how she was feeling. Felton made sure the entire town knew that he was afraid.

Croach liked to pretend he had no emotions. He wasn't that friendly of a fellow at first, but they were lucky that the Martian was generally good at heart. Sephiroth, however, remained a mystery, though evidence pointed to a negative conclusion.

"I ain't sayin' energy can be put to good use. Shinra has my thanks when it comes to savin' lives, but advances in medicine don't mean a thing when they turn you into a soldier for their plans to take over the planet."

Nine months ago, he would be worried for his life when speaking to Sephiroth. He had just been nearly killed, sent back to the past unwillingly, and turned into crystal. His powers were not fully realized yet. But now, he had no reason to fear for his life. He needed piece of mind, and the only way to get that would be to talk the problem away.

"Really? Are you referrin' to past events here, or this conversation?"

The edges of Sephiroth's nose flared a little as Mordecai spoke of Shinra. It was two fold, the irritation he felt at the others' mention of the company he'd dedicated his life towards and that made it impossible to cover up or divert attention from. The SOLDIER's loyalty was still intact. He had treasured memories which he held associated with it, after all, close to his heart still even though he now knew more of the various layers of smokescreen they had set up around him. His entire existence had been a carefully controlled experiment, and just before he'd come to Crystallis he'd been about ready to lift the lid...

Glaring eyes blinked heavily and he tore his gaze from the Barkeep, quickly finding the floor in a vain attempt to regain some composure. It had not only touched a raw nerve, but the comment had flicked it a few times and now it was inflamed - sitting at the front of Sephiroth's mind.

He frowned further as direct words came bubbling up from on top of all those thoughts.

"Yes really. That man...he wouldn't suffer your concern."

It wasn't really answering the question, with regards to if Sephiroth referred to events in the past, this conversation, or potential future outcomes, and that in itself potentially threw even more of a shadow on the silver-haired heroes current state of mind. Perhaps it wasn't all that surprising, considering how things were the last time Mordecai saw him.

"What man? Someone I have to be careful of?" The list of men from Sephiroth's world that Mordecai was aware of only contained one name: Vincent Valentine. That name wasn't mentioned in Sephiroth's file, yet considering the mess he created with Jenova, someone else was bound to take issue. Vincent was an alright man.

Now, Hojo was another matter judging from the report, but he wasn't in this world.

"I make it my business to be concerned about anyone and anythin' that might cause trouble in these parts. I'm a mayor, and knowin' who to keep an eye out for is what I do," he spoke with a narrowing of his eyes. He remembered what Sephiroth did in his saloon. He had a mental list of transgresses everyone committed.

It was plain that Mordecai's comment confused Sephiroth, a moment of blankness passed across his features as he raised his eyes again to meet with the Barkeep. A wealth of unresolved rage and anger against the whole world was sitting simmering just beneath the surface. Though for all appearances he didn't appear ready to go flying off the handle again. Unlike the time in the bar.

"Vincent knows well enough. But I wasn't referring to him..."

His jaw quickly tightened up again as the temptation of a thought tickled just on the inside of the line that would make it pass into actual speech. Another steadying breath was taken as Sephiroth continued to force his temper back down inside of himself.

"I was referring to myself. To that man, who ends up more monster, that inevitably I will become. One way or another."

"'One way or another' ain't gonna cut it!" His response was immediate. Hunched shoulders, standing on his toes, attempting to get as close to Sephiroth's face as his short stature would allow.

"You're gotta burn down villages and destroy planets in the future just 'cause you think you're supposed to? Where's the responsibility in that?!" He waved a hand out towards the city. "We got a whole lotta people dependin' on us, right now and right here. Once we lose our spirit and start goin' around and thinkin' that we can't do anythin' to save planet, or that we're gonna become anti-gods or whatever, that's when the team loses the game! Givin' up is the worst thing you can do!"

Enough with the gentle talk. Mordecai coached a sports team, and while confidence had to be managed to an ideal level, the lack of willingness to fight (or play soccer) secured a certain defeat.

"So if you trash another saloon and say that you're gonna end up a destroyer of worlds because destiny says so, go pick a different one! Even without the Force Galactic, I decide what I wanna be. Maybe I can't become a start blitzball player or a cop, but I can be a better person. Once you have that goal, you started on the right path."

Finally, Sephiroth's stern facade broke. His face creased up into something far more angry than Barkeep had ever had the pleasure of seeing on him before. The veteran soldier made such an effort to keep up professional appearances and under this sort of pressure...his personal discipline had taken blow after blow before now-

"Destiny doesn't say so. Don't you get it? Open your eyes; it already happened!" A heavy breath was taken in at the end of that statement, Barkeep had nudged open the door holding back almost all of Sephiroth's issues with himself and all that could come now was for it all to come bursting through.

"Just because I don't know that I did any of those things, doesn't change the fact that it already came to pass! Only some mechanic of this realm sees it fit to keep said experiences from being implemented upon me. Undoubtedly some other cursed property of these crystals we have."

Bitterness and uncontrollable rage thumped eagerly in the back of Sephiroth's throat as he took a decisive step back and away from Barkeep and his accompanying posse. Who he then took a long glance over each of them, almost challenging them to do something. He can't possibly have his reputation damaged any further, he figures, so why the hell shouldn't he get it off his chest for once!

With a huffed grunt, flared-up green eyes locked again with Barkeep.

"Don't get me wrong. I'll continue to do my part, as ever. Sweat, blood and all the rest of it, because that's the only path I've ever known. But make no mistake, I won't be the one to save the world."

Mordecai jerked back at the outburst, but his feet remained planted. He had succeeded in some way: Sephiroth finally spilled what he thought about this future. There was a risk when it came to him snapping, and while they both agreed this was a problem, Mordecai found issue with Sephiroth's response. With narrowed eyes pointed at the silver haired man, he waved a hand at the onlookers to leave. Things were getting serious.

"It happened in another timeline. I can't argue with that. But this ain't the same thing. We don't got Shinra on this planet. No villages bein' attacked by an energy company. You're not workin' towards world domination. You're workin' with the military, sure, but they ain't the boss of everythin' you do."

He sighed. Better clarify that.

"You weren't raised by Esdham or Cid or whoever. They don't got no business in how you're gonna save the world. Which you will do, savin' the world, I mean. You got a chance to fix all that you do in your future."

Spilling his exact, frustrated thoughts about his future was one thing, getting Sephiroth to admit that he was exactly the sum of all the parts that Shinra had made him, to Barkeep no less, was another few layers underneath that would have to be cut down to first if the man wanted just as tangible a response to the last comments.

Not to mention, he had yet to get to that stage of introspection as to have a chance to identify with the fact that -really- he'd had minimal control over his own life before being brought to Crystallis, despite all his parading around as if it were the exact opposite.

What it did disturb though, was the fact that Sephiroth knew already that he hadn't a midge of the confidence left, in himself, that he once had. That had all been planted in him too, grown into his very upbringing, after all. Without it he felt uncertain, and terrified to put a foot wrong. It was a good job he had plenty of distractions, what between his work and Terra.

"I can't change it anymore than I can change where I came from. There is no 'fix' which will in any way, shape or form, out-balance the role I played as my own Planets' Calamity."

There he said it. And with that Sephiroth took the first few strides away from Mordecai before all the stirred emotion might make him do something that he'd regret even more so.

Let him take those few steps. Mordecai remained where he was standing, but he could tell that Sephiroth had so much more to say on the topic. And most likely, he didn't change his mind for the better.

"I hope you don't mean you're givin' up on this planet," he called after him. "Everyone's got a part in keepin' folks safe."

One didn't have to be a Marshal on Mars or a vigilante or a superpowered bartender to prevent catastrophe. Even if Sephiroth did little, it was better than assuming the worst and not contributing or, even worse, impeding their progress.

Barkeep was right. As steps were taken away from the situation, rather than the relief that came from putting distance between himself and it, Sephiroth didn't even have to wait for the others' words to reach his ears before he was already regretting it. Had he really come to this, not even having the guts to stand up for himself anymore?

Somewhere in the back of his mind, his shrunken pride twisted in on itself. Enough to make Sephiroth stop, long silver hair falling uniformly into place behind him. He held within the front of his mind the fact that he should have just walked on, shouldn't have even looked at Mordecai as he'd passed near to the Castle on his route back home.

"Don't worry. I still have enough pride left in my work, at least."

It was a venomous snap back half over his shoulder, but couldn't be contained given how riled up he was becoming. Frustration manifested itself in different ways, across all different sorts of people. The meaning was plain though; Sephiroth wouldn't give up on what he was already doing, but he felt little inclination to spread out further when he was lacking enough of a reason to do so.

"Honestly though, there isn't anything left to give up."

He crossed his arms and glared at Sephiroth. Nothing left to give up?

"You still got Terra. Last time I checked you two were heads over heels for each other."

Everyone got a copy of the correspondence, though not everyone replied. Letters of love were the best source of gossip, and Mordecai held onto those the dearest.

That made him take a step to the side and turn more back to meet that glare head on. It did seem, very much so, that Barkeep had touched a sensitive nerve.

"Last time you...checked? It's none of your business how I-"

-feel about Terra. He was going to say but managed to stop it from also spilling out uncontrolled. Sephiroth raised his shoulders in a deep breath and blew it out in double the amount of time, an old tried method of calming his temper before it might just rage up even further. Getting defensive over Terra isn't going to help anything.

"Yes I do. But I don't have to save the Planet for her."

Edited 2016-07-07 21:12 (UTC)

He let out a small chuckle. "Judgin' by the responses to the letters you sent out to everyone, you're pretty close." The bad boy and the nice girl. A classic pairing if he ever saw one.

"Would be nice if you left her a place to live, especially if you were around."

"None of your business." A sharp comment to remind Mordecai that he wasn't going to get any more of that particular vein of interest, out of Sephiroth. Social harpy or not, both Sephiroth and Terra are very private people; she'd been so embarrassed after the correspondence had been leaked.

"We don't get to choose that."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

#16 | Can't undo the past

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject