melodiesoflife | Well...What Now? [Luffy/Open: Aqures Tosf]

"Hey. Jack."

There's a lot of questioning and confusion going on when everyone awakens, of course. But one of the first on the mind of Sparks Nevada, after seeing Jack alive and well, is what in the universe the man had been thinking. And why Logen was so eager to help. But he'll save the latter for the next interrogation.

"The next time ya so valiantly decide to get yerself murdered, ya might want to give us all a good explanation first. And do it out of Logen's earshot. But now that we're back, mind tellin' me what the point of that whole display was?"

Never mind that everyone at the time was in a frenzy trying to help, Sparks included.

Oh. It's still funny, not funny, that Jack thought the Marshal was going to be the one to do something rash during this trip. He actually does feel disappointed in having let the man down, and that look on his face is worse than anything else he could do.

"Because...it's worked before?"

Jack sighs deeply. It's a lame-ass excuse, and he knows it, but that's what he was thinking. "It's a long damn story. The short version is that I can't die. Not permanently. Not before coming here. And that I've pulled that exact same stunt before and had it work. Offer myself up instead to world-devouring ancient evils, anything that feeds on life, or on death."

"And I just- come out on top in the end."

"Nothin' on this planet works the way it should. When has it ever?"

There's nothing Sparks hates more than needless sacrifice. In his mind, there was always a way around a no-win situation. Except they were currently standing in the crumbling ruins of Aqures Tosf. That did sting quite a bit.

"We barely know what our crystals do to us, but one of those is that none of us can die fer good. 'Less ya use one of those weapons the Empire had. But we all know that Kalki is like, light-years ahead of us when it comes to that kinda stuff. Anyway, the more of the story is: knock that off."

Sparks folds his arms sharply and huffs. Seriously, what is he going to do with the lot of you Heroes?

After a moment, though, he shoots Jack a sideways glance, looking curious and skeptical.

"So. Back where yer from, you seriously couldn't die?"

Edited (wtf was that formatting, DW) 2015-08-16 04:30 (UTC)

[Chiaki's first interaction with Jack once the Heroes are out of stasis isn't an expression of relief that he's all right, or a question about what he did in the crystal chamber, or even a verbal acknowledgement of any kind. It's a hurt, pained, and even somewhat angry expression, and it's accompanied by a slap to the face. She doesn't seem much in the mood to say anything herself at the moment, but piercing stare she gives him afterward seems to suggest that she's waiting for his explanation.]

Owwww.

Jack doesn't even have time to process before his left cheek is stinging sharply. It's an unexpected expected response. Maybe he didn't anticipate this particular response out of this particular person, but as soon as it happens, he knows he was foolish not to. He can't bullshit Chiaki. Especially not on this specific point. She has already seen her friends killing one another and been unable to do anything about it once. Why the hell did he put her through that again?

"I'm- sorry." Quiet. "I didn't think about how that was going to affect anybody else. I wasn't thinking."

Sort of. But he was. He was just thinking about something else. "I can't die. You know that. Or I couldn't before I came here. Now, it's like- everybody can't die. But-" Jack tenses. "Even if my connection to the Time Vortex is gone? That thing, it wanted death, it fed off of death, and I've died hundreds of thousands of times. What if- What if there was even a chance that it was going to work? That if it took me, it didn't take the other people on this island?"

Jack finally raises his head again, cheek still red, eyes beginning to hold back tears. "Was I just supposed to not even try?"

Yes.

[The answer is quick and unequivocal.]

You're contradicting yourself, Jack. You're the one who told me about fixed points in time - events in history so important and pivotal that they can't be changed, no matter what. The destruction of Aqures Tosf twenty eight years ago is undoubtedly such an event, considering the chain of events it set off.

[Frowning, she shakes her head with a sigh.]

It isn't even that, though. What you did back there... that wasn't hope. That wasn't believing in the rest of us, or yourself. All it was, was throwing your life away. And I'm tired of watching my friends do that. It was just...

[Frustrated, she huffs a bit, casting about for the word.]

...disappointing.

"I do that a lot." Disappoint people? Contradict himself? Throw his life away? All of the above?

Jack looks down again, because Chiaki's quiet but still harsh and unflinching truth hurts more than that slap. There's still an urge to explain, as if the right combination of words could counter the hurt he's caused. "After- talking to everybody, I thought I'd found a loophole. The Crystal had to explode, or overload, or whatever it was actually happened there. The city had to be destroyed. But the people? I thought they could be saved. Still a disaster. But with less death? Even one fewer?"

"If we come back, why shouldn't we take the cost, instead?" A question he's really asking, not just rhetorical. Something he keeps coming up against, time and time again.

I understand what you're saying, and even what you were trying to do, but...

[She shakes her head again.]

...But you have to think of how your actions will look to other people. No one in that room knew why you said what you did, or why you thought it would work. All they saw was someone making what turned out to be a senseless sacrifice and looked more like a death wish, aided by someone who I'm sure a lot of people are now afraid of because of how easily he was able to kill one of his own allies.

[Chiaki herself is probably one of the people here who understands Jack and his motives the most, after all, and she was still shocked.]

We may not have been able to stop what happened to the island, but at that moment, we did have a chance to potentially affect Kalki's opinion of us. But instead of looking like Heroes, all she saw was a group of people as dangerous and unpredictable as the Crystal of Fire itself.

That gets a very deep frown. "Pardon me if I'm not concerned with the opinion of somebody who's willing to torture and sacrifice the Heroes to get what she wants. Those actions are set in time, too. If she'd seen us all as people trying our hardest to help, but ending up just victims like everybody else, would that have- what? Made her sorry?"

Jack isn't quite buying it. "Give me the choice between looking like we're trying to save the world, but failing, and actually doing something that might save peoples lives, but looking completely insane? There's no choice there."

The bite that has entered Jack's tone disappears quickly. "At least now I know it doesn't work. So you know I won't be trying it again."

I don't know, but I'd rather not prove her opinion of us right either. She's been right about too many things already.

[Chiaki's more or less been frowning this whole time. There's a lot she doesn't like about all of this.]

I'm just worried about what this means for us, going forward. Kalki's opinion aside, this is probably going to be a pretty big blow to morale.

"Fighting against fate only to find out that it was unchangeable all along?" Jack breathes out a long breath. Something he's used to, yes, but not everyone else is.

"Maybe me being a dumbass will make other people think twice before they sacrifice themselves, too. I don't know." And that mutual admission that neither of them has the answers is a little scary.

"I'm just-" How to even put this? "Not used to people- caring. Or trying to stop me. Let alone so many at once. Why? Luffy, the Marshal. Even you? Why does it matter?" There have only ever been two people who have looked Jack dead in the eye and told him that he's not allowed to sacrifice his life, before yesterday. Or, 28 years ago yesterday, however you want to measure it. It's visible in the way Jack keeps fidgeting that the entire thought is something uncomfortable.

Every life matters. And caring about each other is what friends do, isn't it?

[Granted, she hasn't been around as long as probably anyone else in this place, but she's pretty sure that's the lesson she's learned both at home and in Crystallis.]

Kidd takes her sweet time in making her way over to Jack. Getting her bearings takes priority, taking a headcount and trying to figure out all of what just bloody happened. She's able to pull a few clues together but nothing to her immediate satisfaction. What she knows for sure is they suffered a pretty hard loss, and it seems Jack's stunt certainly didn't do anything for or against it.

Eventually she wanders over to the man, leaning her shoulder against a nearby wall and looking him over with a disappointed look on her face. Her arms cross as her eyes linger at the point where Logen had stabbed him and then slowly her gaze trails back up to his own eyes.

"I've seen a lot of men with a death wish out there. A lot of them go to sea trying to run from something or hope that they'll find some sort of divine punishment. Even if they claim not to believe in god. So tell me mate: I'm glad to see you back up on your feet but why are you so eager to throw your life away?"

Kidd is one of the more reasonable people that Jack has met. In a way, he's surprised that the man cares so much, but he should have realized that this was one of the people he was going to owe an explanation to. Kidd- gets it. In a way, as he proves by what he says first. Is that really what it is?

"Divine retribution..." It's a funny thought. "There's only one higher power I believe in, and he's not here to judge me." Even as he says it, his own words make him question. Is he looking for the Doctor's judgement?

"I thought it would work. It's worked before, my life for a lot of other people's." Jack shakes his head a little. "The full explanation's a long story." He raises his head, he always has to look people in the eye when he says this. "Maybe it's not so uncommon here. But. I can't die. Ever. Or couldn't, before I came here. Always come back to life."

Kidd's eyebrow goes up at Jack's words. They sound like mad ramblings, or they would if it wasn't for everything else she's experienced in this world. If he says that he can't die, that he's done this before, perhaps there's something to it but...

"So you just throw yourself onto your sword without even giving anyone else an explanation? Like some sort of parlor trick? And what if you died for real and all of this was still the same? We might have liked to know what you were thinking."

Her face hardens as she turns to face him directly. "It's one thing to make a sacrifice, but death should not be courted so casually. That's the mark of a man who thinks he needs to be punished for his life. I know a man who was a scallywag just because he didn't think he was worthy of his wife. He was always out searching for the big treasure that would turn his life around. All it got him was landed in prison. And if it hadn't been for the man coming to rescue me, he would have been left there to rot."

The moment that the crystal around her faded she began looking for Jack. She couldn't understand the last thing she had seen. His body was lying limp on the floor. Blood pooling from his chest with an expression of shock still fixed to his face. When she closed her eyes she can see it again.

"Jack..."

Her voice was soft and her expression mixed with sadness, worry and fear all present. She couldn't understand what had happened and she didn't want to believe what she had heard. She wanted him to explain. Either way, it wasn't fair.

He should live because there was someone who loved him who sacrificed their life for his. It wasn't worth throwing that away.

Oh no. Oh no oh no. When he looks up and sees the precise look in Terra's eyes, all that defensiveness has to go out the window in an instant. He had his reasons, he had what he thought was going to work, but it doesn't matter to Terra. Even if it had worked, she would feel the same. You have fucked up, Harkness.

"I-"

He reaches out with one hand, just letting it hang in the air. "I'm here, it's okay. I just- I thought it would work." Much weaker than he can say that to anyone else. Because maybe Terra doesn't really care. What can he even say to her?

He's right in thinking that Terra didn't care. She cared more for his life that she had for a chance at a solution. If he knew that it would have worked then he could die a hero. She'd eventually be able to accept that but what he did... it wasn't described as heroism.

"Why?" There had to be more of a reason than that. I thought it would work... What made him think that?

Her chest hurt.

"Don't you know how much your life is worth?" Didn't he remember all that's been given up so that he could live?

Such a simple question, but it's one that Jack has never been asked like that before, and it makes his whole mind freeze up. Worth? Has he ever said the thoughts that are on his mind out loud before? "My...deaths are worth more."

"If it could have protected someone, anyone. If I could have died for them?" His voice wavers, like he's afraid of the very answers that he's coming up with. People don't usually make Jack lay it out for them like this. "I always come back. They- don't."

Shouldn't it just be that simple? "They don't."

Terra's voice was low. She didn't yell and she didn't change her tone. It was even and calm as if her mind was trying to rationalize what he was saying.

"What if you didn't come back?" This wasn't his world and the rules had changed for them. There were a lot of crystal statues of people who didn't come back. "What if I died with you?"

Wasn't that what happened? If one of her friends died then a piece of her would die as well. Didn't he know that after loosing so many friends? How many pieces of him had died for him to forget that?

There is a visible flinch at Terra's words. Does she even realize how much- she sounds like him right now? "I was going to come back. I had to. Even- even if I didn't. You-" No, she wouldn't have been okay no matter what. "You would have been able to keep going. We always do after-" After this.

The answer is a lot. He's lost too many pieces. One too damn many, right before coming here. What if you don't come back? The only person who ever asked that question. Gone now.

"I'm sorry."

Terra stepped forward without saying another word. She wrapped her arms around Jack, pulling the hero into a hug. She wasn't usually one for physical contact but she didn't know another way to get her point across. She'd miss him if he had never woken up again.

"Please don't go." They were friends and in that time Jack has become irreplaceable in her life. She couldn't imagine any one of her friends being replaceable.

Her voice was soft as she rested her head against Jack's shoulder. Just imaging him dead made her want to cry and yet she managed to keep the tears at bay. She wanted him to realize what his life met.

What else can he say to that? Jack's arms wrap back around Terra in response, letting her pull close in to his chest. His head drops down on top of hers, she's so much shorter than he is. Why? Why do so many people...care?

"I won't. I won't go. I-" Promises like this are hard to make. He wants to tell her that he'll always be there. But since when has Jack Harkness ever been the person to be, dependable? But something about all this? Makes him want to be.

"I've-" His throat quickly closes up, and he just holds Terra for a second. Nope. He wants to talk about it all, to try to ask and try to figure out why? Why won't the people here just let him do what he normally does?

She could understand his lost for words. She wasn't sure what to say either. It had happened by accident but the more she met and got to know Jack, the more she knew he was important. No friend could be replaced.

After being alone for so long she knew this to be a fact.

Terra slowly pulled away looking up at him with a weak smile. She wanted to be strong but seeing him laying there dead. He hadn't been moving and no crystal had surrounded him. It had shaken her more than she could say.

"You're my friend... I don't want to lose you." Even when they returned home, she'd think of him.

"Why?" Jack finally asks the question stuck in his mind. He looks at Terra, a little lost, himself. He knows she doesn't have the answers, but he will ask it all anyway.

"I am not the guy to depend on, that's what I was trying so hard to tell Luffy in there, but he wouldn't listen." Eyes are a little too wide as he searches Terra's expression. "The man we need isn't here, and I am trying- so damn hard, to be him. And it isn't going to plan."

Edited (html fail) 2015-08-16 02:51 (UTC)

"It's because you are you." Her expression softens as she pulled away completely. Her hands took his and she turned them over, tracing the lines of his palm with a steady finger.

"Who was it... who tried to cheer me up after we saw those memories? Who was it who told me to come over when I first sent you that letter?" It was him wasn't it? It wasn't anyone else.

Terra looked up at at Jack with a knowing smile. "It wasn't the man we need. It was you and you are the one that I think we need."

He takes the hat in hand, putting upon his head as he gives Jack a rather frumpish look while he's sitting in lotus position upon the ground.

"Was it your sword? Didn't look like something you'd use. Always figured you for a pistol sorta' guy."

He dusts himself off, standing slowly as he draws in a long breath of air into his freshly awakened lungs.

".. So what was all of that, huh? Some sorta' dream again?"

It is then that Luffy realizes he is without a shirt, and that his last memory is that of being frozen in crystal stasis by someone far shorter than the one known as "Yugi".

"AH! I WAS FROZEN AGAIN!"

"Uh-" Frozen. "I guess so? I think- we all were. But?" Jack looks down at his own hand. "It didn't feel like normal. It was all just- here again." Jack barely even felt himself go.

"That's not how dying usually feels." Confused, at himself, and there's a long pause, as if he can puzzle this all out on his own.

Hands on his hips and he looks back up at Luffy. "And of course that was my sword. Used to be a pistol guy, sure, but that thing really seems to work better here. Liked that sword." Almost a pout.

There goes his finger again, looking elsewhere while he nods his head as if he's paying attention to what Jack says. The pirate begins to mumble to himself, grumbling and looking dissatisfied all the while.

"Stupid short-stack.. Putting a spell on me before I can get a hit in.."

He plucks the finger from his nose, turning with his eyes alert and his ears practically perking.

"Oh! Sorry. Was it a special sword?"

Jack shakes his head. "Not really special. But I've had it since I got here." He waves a hand as if to wave off his concerns. "I can get a new one from that blacksmith, back home." He's already thinking about it.

"What happened after I dropped?" Using a more casual term, trying to minimize what happened, as much as he can. "If everybody's still here, something happened to take everyone out?" He'll avoid the real questions, for now, focus on the practical, the things that might have more definite answers.

"After you dropped.. After.. You.. Dropped?"

Luffy thinks for a moment, his face becoming slightly red as the brain cells come together to try and jog the memories of the altercation.

"Mmmnn.. Kal-lady dropped into a big hole because some one shot a spell at 'er, so I turned around to try and hit whoever it was. Next thing I knew, I was being hit with something, and everything went dark!

They only got the drop on me because I was hungry! If I'd had a big meal, I'd have cleaned the floor with 'em!"

Or so that's what Luffy's going to say from here on out.

Jack smiles endearingly at Luffy, it's easy for the man to pull Jack out of the darker thoughts. But what he says, it doesn't make sense. "Kalki? She- died? She fell into a hole?"

"We should've all been able to wipe them out," Jack agrees with Luffy. "They couldn't have stood a chance against us all, the way we were killing all those monsters?" He nods seriously.

"But the people weren't the actual problem, were they? That- Crystal. It still blew up?"

Luffy cannot help but feel a bit guilty at the result of Kalki's condition, even if she had been the one to..

Nevertheless, Luffy gives a slow nod of his head, addressing Jack again as he focuses once more on the taller gentleman.

"Guess that's the thing about time. Can't change things that have already happened. No point in livin' in the past. We'll just have to figure out what's up ahead and deal with it as it comes."

The profound words of the pirate are deeper than usual, and it's a mystery if even he comprehends what it is that is being said.

Jack frowns. Luffy's words are profound, but, hasn't Jack done that before? It works, doesn't it? Or, they all tell themselves that it works. Everybody in this time travel racket. But, does it ever work? Never the way they think it would.

"There are- some things that can be changed," Jack mutters.

He stays silent for a few moments, he's wrapping all of what happened over and over in his mind. What was the point of it all, then?

"...Why did you stop me?" There are so many other questions he wants to ask, but that's the sticking point. And, he knows, for Luffy, that the answer is going to be something impossibly simple. Not stupid. Simple, to the point that even Jack can't deny it. And maybe that's what he needs right now.

"Does it matter?"

Luffy's hand run over his own person, checking his numerous pockets to see if any of the food he'd saved from the generosity of Princess Sarah had made it through the state he'd been reduced to.

"A life is a life, doesn't matter if you're able to live through it or not. If it means keeping a friend alive, I'd jump into Hell and climb my way back out if I had to."

He comes up with empty bones, his eyes widening when he remember that he didn't want to leave them as trash as he'd finished them before heading out to find Wedge.

"Damn it.. You're my friend, right? Or did I try and pull rank when you're not really a member of my crew?"

Bad enough, hearing his torture while caught in his memory when they had made their way, far too slowly to the aid of his Doctor and eventually - him. She never wanted to have to watch him suffer again. Yet, before she had a chance to get a word in edgewise. That...that man had. How was this possibly a world of heroes? She'd watched his body slump to the ground, horrified.

The Al Bhed's normally perky attitude is subdued as she approaches, tilting her head to the side as she looks up at the man, "Cap'n Jack."

I- uh oh. Jack actually looks a little sheepish when he looks down at Rikku. She knows more than the others, about him, thanks to those dreams, or whatever they were. Maybe he wouldn't be able to fool her the way he might be able to everybody else. "Rikku..."

There's a hanging pause in the air, as Jack isn't sure how to follow that up. "I- Saying sorry doesn't even come close to it, hunh?" A long breath out, as he waits for Rikku to let him have it.

The teenager hugs her hands together behind her back, tilting to balance on booted heels as she continues looking up at him. "Sorry?" There's a light shake of the head, martyrs. The guardian is too familiar with them to believe he means it - only, why was he apologizing? They don't apologize. People build statues for them.

"I'm, not mad you know? Have a lotta people been mad?" Sacrificing yourself for others. It was too much like the Summoners, people she wanted to protect. How could she be angry at someone who reminded her of that? "I know what you were doing...well, I think I do? You thought...you had a lot of life, so you could fill up the crystal..?" Maybe, it might have looked awful confusing to people who had not seen what she had, even though he'd tried to explain it.

The girl's unusual eyes search the man's before her. His death had been hard to see - but since he was back, she shouldn't have to worry now. Only, she found she constantly was.

"Jack." There's a pause - she couldn't quite bring herself to ask it how she wanted to.

"...Is too much life a bad thing?" Did he want to die?

Edited 2015-09-09 02:10 (UTC)

Nanami had missed Jack's display, which was for the best. But she did find him when they woke up. "Are we back?" Because he seemed to be an expert on this weird stuff.

Jack even double-checks his manipulator when Nanami comes up to him, as if to make sure. "Back, time-wise. But we didn't move in space, this time. We're still in Aqures Tosf." He exaggeratedly looks around at their surroundings. "Or, what's left of it."

"That's close enough for me," Nanami said. "How are we going to get back off the island?"

She remembered her geography. For that matter, that's why they couldn't rescue that many people. Or leave the island.

Well...What Now? [Luffy/Open: Aqures Tosf]

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