melodiesoflife | open | can't get my mind out of those memories

Characters: Naminé and YOU!
Where: Palitutu's lab, and heading to B-06 afterwards, both OTA
When: November 17th
Summary: It's Naminé's turn to face her Calamity Self.
Warnings: Standard Kingdom Hearts angst, with lowkey mentions of manipulation and violence.
Notes: One thread for the Calamity Self encounter, please! Naminé will accept her Calamity self pretty easily, so no fighting will occur. Multiple threads for the heading home prompts are a-okay!

THE WORDS THAT HURT MY SOUL

[After Ira's confrontation with his Calamity Self, Sora had taken her aside and told her, with all the seriousness she's ever seen on his face, that she shouldn't go alone, whenever she decides to confront hers. It wasn't that hard to promise him that, even before he promised to do the same for her in exchange. She's not the one he should be worried about, after all. How could her two years possibly compare to how much he and Ira had been through? The little mentions and snatches of conversation from them are starting to build a puzzle board, the pieces of which she's realizing will tell a grim story she might not be prepared for.

Well...she supposes that's not what she should be focusing on right now. Naminé is back in Palitutu's lab, but instead of being the supporter, she is now the supported, a handful of familiar faces waiting in a half circle around them. She gives them a small smile of acknowledgement and thanks before turning to Elmina. She sets her crystal, a tiny shooting star surrounded in the swirl of its own tail, into Elmina's paws.]

Let's meet her.

[Worry is etched all over Elmina's Moogle face. She'd seen how upset Naminé had been, the first day she'd gotten here, and she doesn't know how well this encounter is going to go, if it'll go well at all. But with a soft prompt from her Hero, she gives Naminé a quick hug, the crystal squished between them, before handing the crystal over to the technicians.

The Naminé that swirls into existence beside the original immediately flees and hides under the nearest desk. Naminé moves to sit on the floor, back to back with her Shadow despite the desk being in the way. Then closes her eyes.]

Go ahead. Let it all out.

[Calamity Naminé lets out a slow breath.]

Why bother? It's not like anyone cares about me. About us. Two years. Just two years to exist, and what were we doing?

Doing everything Marluxia said.

Running away from Larxene. Getting belittled and ignored by everyone else. Sitting and drawing until our hands cramped and our crayons were nubs. Until Sora came along. And even then it was only because of our powers that he paid attention. What kind of life is that? Why were we born if only to exist like that? Why did we have to bear that burden while Kairi slept it all off and got to go home safe and sound?

[Tears start rolling down her cheeks.]

We never wanted any of that. It would've been better to not exist at all, instead of existing as her Nobody.

[Naminé turns her head and gives Sora a quiet, mournful look before looking away.]

It got better.

The next year was better? [Calamity Naminé buries her face into her knees.] You're unbelievable.

REMOVING DOUBTS FROM MY MIND

A) [After that incredibly draining ordeal, Naminé can't seem to get herself moving from her spot on the floor. She only shifts to curl her arms around Elmina when her Moogle comes to tuck her crystal back into her pocket.]

Naminé...let's go home, kupo...

B) [Back at B-06, Naminé can be found sitting outside in plain sight from the street, leaning against a tree and staring up into the sky. She's fine. She really is. It's just been a pretty long day, so...company would be nice.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's no problem. I still have to face my own, and I'm probably going to do it soon, but I've been watching everyone else.

[He shifts a bit, adjusting his shield.]

I've been wanting to make sure to be here in case something goes wrong. We can't afford to lose any more....I don't want anyone getting hurt.

[Still, he doesn't look completely confident. There's definitely a lot sitting on his shoulders.]

You're very kind, Cloud. [She hesitates a moment.] I know we don't know each other very well, but I can be there for you when you face yours, if you'd like me to be. I don't want to see anyone hurt either.

Thanks, I appreciate that. Everyone's been watching out for each other and I trust them but I don't...really know what to expect.

[He frowns. He's getting an idea of how this works but he's still unsure.]

Your Shadow. It said something about memories. What did it mean?

[She freezes mid-nod, looking up at him with wide eyes.]

...which part? [she finally asks.] When she said that we'd only become a memory?

[Cloud winces at her expression. He doesn't want to put her on the spot. He then thinks over her words and the encounter that has just passed.]

Sorry, I guess I misheard something. In any case, don't worry about the stuff in your past. All that talk of being nobody or worrying about your powers. This is a good world to try starting over new, and doing things for yourself. And you have all of us here to lend you a hand.

[She falls silent for a moment, hugging Elmina for comfort. She's hesitant, but she still wants to be honest with him, with the people of this world, to not have to hide but instead show them her true colors in the hopes they'll accept her and offer friendship in return.]

Thank you. [She almost loses her nerve, but starts again.] It's...actually appropriate that you bring that up, though. I...I had powers over memories, before I came here. It was such a big part of my life that I barely thought of anything else. But it was always someone else's memories that I worked with, someone who had already lived out a part of their life. I've never thought about my own until now. My own life that creates those memories. I wanted to have my own life and memories for so long that, now that I'm here, I'm starting to realize I'm terrified of doing something wrong again.

[She smiles ruefully.]

I know it's silly. I'm sorry for going on like that.

[Cloud blinks in surprise at the revelation that Namine offers. Both for himself and the Other Cloud and for Sephiroth it's seemed that Memories have been things hanging over their heads. Fear of becoming his future self and what that entails. The dream of the past cycle and the memories of the Other Cloud's future and his friendships and hardships. That changes to someone's memory can so fundamentally change a person is something Cloud has been thinking on for a while.]

I think...I can understand. And you're worried that things might go back to the way they were beyond your control, right?

[He smiles, trying to encourage her.] It's not silly. If it's bothering you then it's better to find people to talk to about it than keep it bottled up. Otherwise the worry just builds on itself.

But you seem like a nice person, and I don't think you're the sort who would hurt people on purpose. Just follow what you feel is right, and if you're not sure it looks like you have some good friends looking out for you.

[She nods, focusing on the little bit of red from Elmina's poofball bobbing up and down in front of her. It's difficult to articulate this feeling she's had, ever since arriving here-- even to Sora and Ira. In fact, it's more difficult if it's them. But because it's Cloud, and he's a kind friend that's removed from their past, it somehow manages to fall past her lips.]

That's the part I'm bad at. Talking with others about it. You're so easy to talk to, Cloud, but I'm not really...everyone else has so many things to worry about, I don't want to bother them with anything. I know it's better to tell them, but...

[Cloud nods, crossing his arms as he listens.]

Mmm, yeah, I can understand that. [He glances at the others who had gathered and he gets a hint of the unspoken part of it.]

And you don't want them to worry about you, right? I think they'd know more about you and your old powers than anyone else here, but...I guess if I see you doing anything odd without realizing it or something seems off I'll let you know. Would that help?

[She nods in quiet affirmation. She doesn't even know all of their stories, but she knows that Sora and Ira have gone through so much. All of her concerns seem so insignificant in comparison. She knows she should tell them, but at the same time Naminé doesn't want to worry them when they have more important things to think about.

She's actually surprised that her Calamity self hadn't mentioned it sooner, though she supposes that's for the best in the end.]

I think so. I know people have said we don't have our old powers here, but-- I just want to be careful. [Naminé finally manages to look up at him.] Thank you, Cloud. You're really very kind.

[Cloud's smile at Namine's gratitude is real, but there's a thought lingering behind his eyes. He's been carrying a lot of weight in his time here. Not just the stuff he's witnessed and taken part in, but also the lingering memories of different versions of himself. And while they've served well as warnings for the future he can't help but wonder if those memories are holding him back as well.

But now isn't the time for that.]

I'm sure you will. You can't really get your old powers back unless you get a Custom Job crafted or your limit break engages. For now you're just yourself and that's all you have to be.

[Not that being oneself is all that easy either.]

[Well, she's certainly going to avoid making a Custom Job now. Her limit break is a different issue. Naminé doesn't know what it is yet. But if the situation were desperate enough that she had to use her limit break to begin with, well, she'll be honest with herself. She wouldn't hesitate to go back to what she was before, to protect her friends.]

I'm still trying to figure out who I am, sometimes...but I'll do my best.

[She rubs at her eyes, and Elmina gently pats her cheek.]

We should get you home to rest first, kupo.

open | can't get my mind out of those memories

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Damnit I misread a thing

ouo)7 i gotchor back

I'm so sorry for taking so long

no worries ♥

The ironic thing is I can't even remember what he was gonna ask about

oh nooooo if you ever remember you can have him bring it up with her anytime <3

Given the way his Shadow thread is going it might come back around

owo)b