melodiesoflife | Event || In Your Worst Memory

Event || In Your Worst Memory

Characters: All Heroes of Light. Only those who signed-up can start a memory.
Where: Interdimensional Rift
When: May 27th - May 30th
Summary: The Heroes of Light relive some of their worst memories, with a twist. All characters participating in this will be physically missing from Crystallis for the duration of the event.
Warning: It depends on the memory.

Where you were or what you were doing— It does not really matter. Not any more. Everything around you freezes, nearly as if time itself stopped, as if the world was frozen in time. And before you have a chance to understand what is happening, you can hear a voice right behind you.

"Kali Shashidhwaja."

Should you turn around, you may see a child who seems to be the only one aside from you unaffected by what is happening. And as she stares right at you, it makes no doubt these strange words are aimed at you. But before you can reply to her, the world around you collapses. Reality twists and shatters... Or maybe you are the one who is collapsing and shattering away from reality as you know it. No matter what the answer is, it will only take a few seconds for you to find yourself sinking into a void, Crystallis vanishing into the distance. There is nothing but darkness as far as the eye can see.

And once again you feel different: all the powers from your Jobs are fading. Not only that, but you might find that your Crystal is gone and your clothes back to what they were before you woke up in Crystallis. It is silent, cold and before long it feels as though life itself is slipping out of you... And yet, slowly the world reforms around you. The darkness fades away and a new world appears, yet at the same time this is not a world.

This is a memory. The question is, is it yours or that of someone else?

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There was something different about Sephiroth in this memory. Here, he was himself. There wasn’t a part of him missing like back in Crsyallis. His eyes were almost a representation of everything that he was here. A part of him, like Terra’s Esper form, that defined who he was. She felt as if this was the first time she truly saw Sephiroth for who he was and that made this moment special. She could finally see him and she knew now, more than ever, of his strength. She was more sure now that he could be the hero that he wanted to be.

She didn’t want to give up.

“It does hurt but I know what it’s like… to learn of truth’s that hurt.” She paused keeping her gaze locked with his. “I’d rather know so that I could be stronger than the truth and face it. I want to create a future that I want. IT hurts and it’s hard but…” Terra felt tears rise to the surface but she quickly blinked them back. She hadn’t cried since she was a young child and she didn’t want to start now. She quickly composed herself facing Sephiroth’s gaze with an unwavering determination. “…it’s worth it.”

“What about you? Do you want to know the truth? Even if it hurts… to at least overcome it?” Terra knew that he was strong. She knew that he could handle the truth of his past but he had to believe in himself and those around him. She didn’t want him to lose sight of the hero who tried so hard to protect.

Funny that, as despite his obviously renewed strength which had made Sephiroth a thousand-times more confident during his interference's within others' memories, here in the aftermath of this revelation he didn't feel all that like himself at all. It was almost as if the fire that had been started within him again had been smothered and stomped on by the return of the weight of the issues regarding his future.

That Terra could see that still though, was testament to how much she'd managed to learn of him even if that had been by his actions alone rather than the rare words spoken. There was a similarity between them, and the more they were in each others' company the clearer that became. Subconsciously, and without his knowledge of it, Sephiroth quite likely was feeding off the strength of her conviction. Of her will to carry on; something he'd always kept fast about himself but had been waning.

He averted his gaze from Terra as soon as he caught the first sign of tears; the last thing he needed to see right now and he was sure Terra wouldn't like the embarrassment as well. Sephiroth only looked back when she was ready to speak again, and as always took a few long moments to consider his words in reply.

"This truth-" He pulled his arms in tighter against his chest and blew the rest of a breath out to keep his nerve; angry or sad, it wasn't welcome here. "-This truth ends up hurting far more than just my own sense of pride. This truth burns villages to the ground, brings a meteor down onto the Planet-"

He stopped, dumbfounded somewhat that he'd said it out loud. That greatest paradox within himself; he never had understood the reason for that from what he'd seen of the mind of his Doppelganger, yet at the same time a similar feeling had been his drive months ago when he'd been brainwashed. Sephiroth raised his hand to cup his forehead as that particular memory resurfaced.

It was the very least he could do, to destroy that which she had been refused the right to.
Calamity, Jenova, Mother; it made no difference what it was called, that feeling was all the same.

"-how exactly am I supposed to overcome that amount of hurt?"

Terra was comforted when he looked away from her the moment she felt her cool demeanor cracking. Sephiroth always showed her respect even when their conversations were awkward. She watched him curiously her gaze locked with that bright mako glow. It might have been random before but she truly loved his eyes. They were lovely and even compared to those with a similar glow; they were one of a kind.

She could understand that knowing the truth would hurt. There was nothing that she could do to stop that pain. At best, she could ease the pain but that was all.

Terra was surprised when he continued and she remained silent listening to him as he spoke. It wasn't often that he talked about himself and so Terra made sure not to interrupt. When he asked her a question she was silent for a moment carefully considering his words.

"I don't know." She wasn't him and she didn't have an answer for him. Even if that was what he sought. Terra was about to say more but then she wondered if he was truly looking for answers. If it was her in his position she'd live the best she could now, reaching for the things she wanted but she wasn't him. She couldn't make that decision for him.

Terra was silent for a moment longer. "Maybe the question is.." She placed a hand over her heart looking at him. "Is it worth it?" To Terra, one moment of happiness was worth anything.

It wasn't a question that did have an answer and Sephiroth knew that but he had felt the need to ask it all the same. As if by vocalizing it out loud might help to refocus his own thoughts into conquering the problem spawned completely within himself. Never in his entire life had Sephiroth felt so lost as he had these last few weeks, so hollowed out of any purpose that he once kept himself full of.

And now here he was spilling it all in front of one of the only people to have shown him genuine compassion, albeit compassion that he preferred to keep at arms length. So yet again the conversation between the two of them fell into an uneasy silence. Yet, Sephiroth did not drop his mako-tainted gaze from her face for very long - remembering well how rotten he had felt about trying to completely stone-wall her before. He didn't need that on his conscience, not today. Not after

The gesture, her delicate hand over her heart seemed to tug at some deeper meaning this time as he watched her do it but a taste of an emotion he didn't recognize was dismissed quickly away.

"Is it worth it?" He repeated, sounding as if he were tasting the words, her concept, mulling it around in his mind as if turning a jigsaw piece to see if it would fit. "You mean, is it worth...to get over?"

“Not exactly.” She paused trying to figure out what to say. She didn't consider his pain something that someone could just get over. “What I mean is… is it worth focusing only on that pain.” He can live his life as he wanted until the day that he would inevitably shifted down that dark path. Terra wasn’t about to tell him to live life to his fullest. It was a decision that he had to make and no matter how much she wished it; she didn’t have answers for him.

She only had her thoughts.

“There will always be pain but there are other things.” She hoped there were other things.

Terra’s chest ached slightly and her hand resting over her heart tensed at the feeling. She didn’t really understand but she wanted Sephiroth to be happy or if not happy, then content. She wanted him to find an answer he could live with instead of constantly being unsure.

Through out there conversation her gaze was locked with his. She wanted to do more but she held back keeping herself reserved. All she could do was be here for him.

Sephiroth kept looking over Terra the whole time that she found her words, eyeing every gesture, every small nuance of her body language as if he might be able to draw out some deeper meaning from it. The outside edges of his eyes softened as he really listened, really took her in.

Other things. After a few more moments of searching Terra's face again Sephiroth lowered and then turned his eyes and then his head away from her so it wouldn't be so automatic for him to look directly at her. It felt like a different sort of pain as he brought his wall up again finally between them once more.

"Yes. There are other things, but-" Reasons, excuses really, tumbled behind his eyes as their lids closed while he took a breath again in trying to collect them into a coherent thought.

"-it's the foundation of everything, Terra. It's not something I can just disregard."

Terra shook her head slowly. "I don't think you should disregard it."

She wished that she knew how to put her thoughts into words but instead she let the room fall into silence. Her fingers on her chest curled inward feeling her heart beat shutter in her chest.

Terra took a step forward stopping about a yard away. "Sephiroth." Her fingers moved in front of her lacing together nervously. Why were they being shown this? It didn't make any sense and it was turned into a spectacle for those who wondered across his memory. It was cruel and Terra didn't belong here.

Her tone was steady, her emotions safely locked away. "You shouldn't forget where you came from or who you are." It was hard but Terra didn't want to forget either. It hurt and it was awful but it was her life which made it important.

Shutting his eyes against it didn't help, those letters were burned into the back of his eyelids now. The monsters glowing in the various mako-pods, and the way that Genesis spoke to him rung deeply in the very depths of his ears still. What had happened to them all?

He didn't open his eyes again until Terra steadily said her final statement, carefully tracing the outline of the petite frame now stood a little in front of him. Her words might well have been lined with ice, sending a chill ever deeper into Sephiroth's concerns.

"That's just the problem, Terra. Where I came from, and who I am meant to be."

Her gaze steadily met his. "You know that I can't give you an answer." Her gaze betrayed the pain she felt. She wanted to help but it was something that he needed to face. Just as she needed to face her own past. There was more to learn and more to discover. She knew the frustration at knowing that you could become a monster. Though Sephiroth knew his future now and he had to decide what to do with that knowledge.

Terra thought to turn away and leave her friend with his thoughts. She felt helpless when she just wanted to help. There weren't many emotions that Terra was antiquated with and frustration was new. She didn't know what to do and she felt like she wanted to scream.

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Event || In Your Worst Memory

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