melodiesoflife | Event || Window of Opportunity

Event || Window of Opportunity

Characters: All Heroes of Light.
Where: Aqures Ixen - Everywhere
When: September 25th - From 12:30 to 22:30.
Summary: Heroes of Light will relive the same ten hours over and over again until they find a solution. This may be a blow to what's left of their sanity, but that's also a window of opportunity! The OOC Post is here for more information! It's not too late to sign-up, anyone can still jump right into the event! However, your vote for the total number of loops will not be taken into account any more.

Speaking of which-- Votes are in and this time displacement madness will be solved after 191 loops. Practically speaking, this means characters going through every single loop will live 2 months, 2 weeks, 3 days and 14 hours in the span of half a day. Hopefully they won't mind the food for the day, the clothes they're wearing or what they were doing when the loop started, because that's what they'll be stuck with until the end. There are some events described below, but there will be no NPC replies. Feel free to partake in these events and of course, make your own!

Warning: Too many time loops may be bad for your mental health.

The Flence Salesman
— All Day Long —
There is a salesman from Flence in the city, and he is going for every person he sees in the streets. Adults, children or elders, humans or tarutarus, it doesn't matter to him so long as he can make money! He will try to sell to the characters specialties from Flence and some crystals at absolutely awful prices, but he's open to negotiations and beyond that, he's extremely persistent. Normally, nobody would care about this, but given the salesman isn't be aware of the loop, he'll keep doing the same things over and over again... Hopefully he won't see your characters, otherwise he might just bother them for every single loop.

Moogle Demonstration for the Future of Mognet
— 12:30 => 16:00 —
For a surprise one-day long strike, the Moogles are demonstrating! There are roughly 800 Moogles together (250 according to the government, 5000 according to the striking Moogles) in the demonstration, all singing slogans and some even holding placards with "More Gil and Less Work" or "Give us Kupo Nuts" signs.

They started at 10:00 and left from the 09th District, but they will go throughout every district and explain what their protest is about. They'll finish at 16:00 and will be back to the 09th District to eat Kupo Nuts and drink Chocobo Milk together.

Biggs' Grand Return
— 14:00 => 22:30 —
After a month spent in the hospital, Biggs is finally back! He leave the Hospital at 14:00 and head straight for the Castle of Aqures Ixen. Noticeably he still has a broken and bandaged arm, but he'll pretend to be totally fine and for that matter, he will be as rude and as unfriendly as ever. He will spend most of the day in the Castle, but will go in Palitutu's Lab by 19:00 to meet with Cid. Among other things, he will side-eye everyone and will accidentally splash Cid's coffee on a Hero of Light working there (or on a Moogle, should the Hero have the good sense to avoid Biggs next loop).

Renovation of the Blitzball Stadium
— 15:30 => 20:00 —
The repairs are going steadily and today, a special dome from Trano Golsaucia is being transported and placed on the Blitzball Stadium, brand new and much more modern than what Aqures Ixen used to have! On the downside however, the airship bringing the dome and the work being done on the stadium are all very, very noisy. So noisy that everyone in a two-district radius will be bothered by it.

Under normal circumstances it would have been only for a short time and easilly bearable, but here it will happen for every single loop.

Have You Heard of the Heroes of Light?
— All Day Long —
Throughout the day, a few people are going to go and knock on every doors in the city, to talk about a most fascinating topic: the Heroes of Light! They will speak about how it is said the Heroes of Light are in Crystallis and how they managed to defeat the empire without difficulties back during the attack! Then they will go on and ask for a contribution (hear: money) to help the Heroes of Light in their cause. Of course, these people are dishonest and the money will go into their own pockets, as they don't believe in the Heroes of Light to begin with.

And of course, they'll go knock on doors during every single loop!

The Accident
— 22:29 => 22:30 —
The one minute that started it all. Who is the imbecile who committed the mistake on Palitutu's computer? Is this a Moogle or a Hero of Light, maybe Cid or Biggs? Whoever it is, after the first time, at 22:29 the program will start again on its own and will activate the loop right at 22:30, sending everything back to 12:30. The characters may try to run more programs to block the computer, cut the energy source or even bomb the building if they so wish...

But these archaic and barbaric solutions won't prevent the next loop from happening. Only hard work and scientific solutions shall prevail!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It never failed. Just hearing more about Terra's day, and all the ultimately mundane things that made it up, always helped Sephiroth to better swallow the parasitic thoughts and concerns that he had bottled up inside, to box them away somewhere in the back of his mind. No matter how cluttered said back of his mind was starting to weigh on his soul.

Having finally found some strength with which to look back to her, or at least half way, he pulled his mouth up into an encouraging smile as Terra's seemed to nearly falter and that seemed to have the effect that he intended; all those details that he didn't necessarily need to hear about came flooding from her and as she carried on some of the visible tension in Sephiroth's frame seemed to melt away.

Never mind that it was hiding the bigger things with smaller, insignificant ones, it was a salve that helped him to cope and carry on from one day to the next. Thinking about it, he couldn't imagine how he might have carried on without her if he hadn't made the decision to move in to keep her company. The fact that Genesis had lived there beforehand had once felt like more of a reason than it did anymore.

Birthdays. What a thing to have been brought up, yet it was at the same time just like Tempest to do so. Her moogle worked tirelessly to think of things that would make Terra happy and in that, her and Sephiroth's efforts were perfectly aligned. Anything to never see that smile fade from her face.

Even if that meant he still had to keep secrets about himself, and about how he really felt over all of it. A worthy sacrifice.

"What sort of questions?" It was easier, by far, to let Terra continue to lead the conversation as they gradually worked their way through the streets back into the 14th district.

Terra wasn't very happy but she continued to keep that feeling locked away. She could tell that he was hiding something and she wondered how long he could keep his feelings bottled up before it came spilling forward. Was it even her place to ask? They were friends or something like that but she didn't feel as if she had any place knowing about Sephiroth's pains or worries.

It was up to him to tell her, just as she had decided to confide in him. Steeling herself with that thought she continued to answer Sephiroth's inquiries about her day.

"What the weather might have been like, if my parents and me ever celebrated, did I have a record of birth on that report, and a few others. I couldn't answer anything that she asked. I don't really think I want a Birthday." From her understand, a Birthday was to celebrate the fact that you were born. Terra didn't see a reason to celebrate her own birth.

"I haven't check the report. It might be mean but I'm thinking of hiding it from Tempest." She didn't want her moogle to find out if there was a record on there.

Even if Terra had mentioned something, the concept of anyone -even a friend- trying to impose on how he should handle his own feelings was about as foreign as it could be. Even when he had friends, before, criticism had always been carefully applied in such a way that could be laughed off as brotherly rivalry lest it bruise an ego. Sephiroth had always been so well put-together on his own, before.

It pulled painfully at his subconscious as Terra landed on the suggestion that she didn't think she wanted a birthday. On Gaia, birthdays were celebrated too except it did seem that after a certain age his own had been almost forgotten. He had always been too busy, and besides, such days only stirred uncomfortable questions that he'd never get answered.

Answers that Sephiroth had now read in his own file.

It took a great deal of effort to try and keep his expression neutral, and was blatant even from just looking at his profile that some thought he had landed on was extremely unpleasant. With a little bit of a shake to his voice, he attempted to carry on the conversation.

"B- Birthdays are celebrated too, on my home world. They're supposed to be happy days that you share with friends and-" The last word: family, died in Sephiroth's throat as if it threatened to choke him. Inappropriate to mention given what he did know of Terra's past, and what he also now knew of his own history that had been hidden from him all of his life. He'd no other topic to mind, with which to replace it though.

"I'm sure it'd be a lot of fun. You have a lot of people that care about you."

Edited 2015-10-13 12:19 (UTC)

Terra could tell that something was wrong, the little cracks in Sephiroths armor were growing and he looked as if he might break soon. She glanced ahead of them knowing that their house must be close. The shop was right on the residential line so it was never a far walk. She’d carry the conversation until then, then he could choose if he wanted time on his own or not. She tried not to look sad but the slight shake to his voice was hard to ignore.

She was worried and that feeling clenched at her heart.

With a practiced smile Terra looked up at Sephiroth, the expression not quite reaching her eyes. “Every day that I’m here, I'm having fun. I’d rather celebrate meeting those I’ve met here than celebrate myself.” Tempest explained that it was to celebrate your birth but that was one thing that Terra wasn’t comfortable with. She hadn’t seen anything good come from her own existence.

“She did say there is usually cake. Even if she didn’t know my birthday she’d make me one so I could try.” Though she's pretty sure it taste like regular cake.

Any reasonable person might well have broken a while ago but every time Sephiroth had swung that way something, or someone, had presented a viable opportunity for him to pick himself back off the floor and re-focus on what was more important. He was a hero, in the most accurate sense of the word and it wouldn't do for him to be so weakened. He was a pillar of strength to so many, and knew for a fact that Terra above all others needed him to be the same.

He tried to carry on as if his voice hadn't shaken, perhaps if he ignored it ever happened it might simply be as it never did. Sephiroth cleared his throat to gain a firmer control over it; though even just a quick glance at Terra's face told him subliminally that he really wasn't fooling her. Could that be any surprise, considering how much time they now spent in each others company? Did that bother him, that he was able to be so predicted by someone else? Maybe a little.

"That does tend to be the tradition. Though birthday cake is really a personal preference so it really should be up to you." He left it strategically unsaid, how he did comprehend how she might not want to celebrate her birthday at all. Sephiroth found he was in a similar mind about his own, having already skipped once of them during his tenure in Crystallis.

Finally the pair turned down the street and only a few paces later found themselves at the door to their home: B-09. Sephiroth took a once over of the front of the house and guessed that perhaps Spencer were already home so the door might well be on the catch waiting for them. As the afternoons had started to get cooler with the coming of autumn, so Sephiroth had started sending Spencer home ahead of him to at least get the place heated up a little where it'd been vacant since the morning.

"After you-" He did manage, that time, to keep his voice at a stronger level. There were already a cloud of tension around him like an invisible aura though; no matter how he tried to dismiss the same it had simply gotten too thick and heavy for him to hide away again

Sephiroth didn’t have to do anything to be her pillar of strength. Even if his armor cracked, shattered or broke she’d still think the world of him. It wasn’t what you did at your top that made you strong but what you did at your weakest. She’d watched him struggle, just as he’s watched her and she knew that no matter what Sephiroth might face, he’d come out stronger. It took time and it took patience and Terra was slowly discovering that some wounds didn’t heal with just the passage of time.

“Thank you,”

She stepped in to their home instantly feeling the warmth from the fire. A small smile pulled at her lips as she carefully hung her cloak. Tempest had bought her a jacket but she liked the light purple material. She was used to it and it was a comforting weight on her shoulders.

Terra looked up at Sephiroth, her skirt still having smears of dirt from the flower shop. She had thought to change but she didn’t want to leave his side.

“Sephiroth are you-”

She stopped herself, her eyes glancing over towards the kitchen. Usually she’d change and then Tempest would help her prepare dinner. She was slowly learning to cook and today’s dish was supposed to be a creamy squash soup but none of that felt very important. After a moment she turned back to Sephiroth, her fingers laced together with her hands hovering in front of her stomach.

“I mean…I’m here for you.” Terra remembered saying this a long time ago; when they had sat together on that park bench. He hadn’t said much about himself then but she had offered to be there for him, for all that he’s done for her. Even now he holds onto the metal circlet that often found its way into her dreams. Since then he’s done so much more for her and saying thank you doesn’t feel like enough.

Silently Sephiroth stepped into the house after Terra and followed her in first undoing and then shrugging off his light jacket. He hadn't yet made the transition from sweater-like outer layers into full on winter coats just yet, though for sure the weather and shorter days indicated that he might want to begin to think about it.

It felt like it was a long moment in which he raised his coat to be hung alongside hers, as if her gaze had the power to slow down or even stop time itself. In the second that she stopped herself Sephiroth snapped his eyes to her face but just missed her eyes as she glanced over towards the kitchen. That's right, Tempest was going to continue in teaching Terra how to cook tonight; it beat his mediocre attempts at cooking, hands-down. A fleeting thought stuck for a moment, in that he'd actually been looking forward to the soup they came up with...but now he didn't really feel hungry at all.

In his stubbornness, Sephiroth had nothing to say to Terra but those final words she spoke were as if someone tightened a vice around the most inner workings of his gut. It made him feel quite sick and the light flush he'd taken on from coming into the warm house paled away as if he really were unwell. Strictly he tore his eyes from her face and fixated his attention on where he still hadn't let go of the position in which he'd hung his coat. It felt as if time had stopped still, and he couldn't will himself to let go...to step away...

A sigh was released as he shut his eyes and -barely visible on account of the way the bangs to his hair forward hung and the fact he was turned away from her- a single drop of water shot down from one eye where it had been welling up, stinging just in the corner of his eye.

"I-" Despite his best efforts, the tremble to his voice had returned and Sephiroth couldn't even conjure any more words than that one syllable. As if that first tear encouraged them to do so, emotions that had remained suppressed so sternly all of a sudden added to the burning in his eyes and just behind his nose. A sniff, futile in it's attempt to stall the same, echoed as Sephiroth forced clenched hands to either side of him as he fought to reign it all in again.

Terra’s gaze remand on his face even as he turned to address his jacket. It was clear that he wasn’t feeling well and without prior thought Terra felt herself step forward. Her feet barely whispering against the ground as she moved. She wanted to reach out but that wasn’t something that Terra did often. She was used to Rikku running up and hugging her or Ven when they would practice dancing but she felt as if there was more weight in her actions now.

She lightly rested her hand on his arm hoping that he might turn back towards her. It was a simple touch and he could shrug her away without much difficulty. Her tongue glided across her lips and she swallowed feeling her throat dry with the effort. She wanted to speak but she felt as if the wrong word might shatter the man standing before her.

“It’s okay.”

Terra didn’t want him to have to hold back anymore. This was his home and no matter what happened he’d be safe within its walls. She had been careful to make sure that he was comfortable, more so after requesting that he move in with her. She hadn’t wanted to change his schedule or disrupt his life more than necessary. Even now she feared that she was too close.

She liked having him nearby, she liked being close to him but she wasn’t sure if he felt the same. Terra had already expressed that she wanted him to depend on her too.

Even through the light sweater that he wore, the tension that roped through his arms down towards where his fists were clenched tightly was palpable. Very obvious even in the light touch that Terra's hand rested against his forearm; near to the elbow. The atmosphere his distress was emanating was similar to that of a coiled spring fighting against that which kept it tightly under duress. In the meantime, another sniff was pulled back as Sephiroth dropped his head so that he might look at the floor through barely opened eyes; trying to will yet-more tears away from surfacing and feeling the failure acutely as another fell in the wake of the first. Silver bangs, like the very curtains they were styled as, fell forwards on either side of his face if they could hide him away from the world.

Terra shouldn't have to put up with him like this, showing such weakness as he was. He took great pride in being the strength that she needed, it wasn't right expecting her to be able to shoulder the return. Now more than ever, Sephiroth felt that his life was more complicated than anyone else should have to bear.

"It's-" An instant dropped like a pin in a silent room and he snapped eyes back to Terra's face, the telltale streak of moisture down one cheek apparent as he turned his face more down and towards hers."-except it's not, Terra. It's never been okay."

He didn't even have much will left, which would have shrugged her hand away before. The longer that they remained stood there facing the coat rack made Sephiroth feel as if all his strength were being stripped away; his stomach twisted in on itself in an opposite direction to the way his heart swelled with warmth at the fact that Terra was trying to comfort him. He shouldn't need such comfort. He'd never needed it before, so why now? Nothing had changed but the facts that he now knew that had been silently eating away at him ever since that day.

He felt like a 10 year old again, wanting to crumple to his knees under the weight of the world.

Terra could feel the tension rise and flux as her fingertips lightly pressed against the woven fabric of his sweater. She didn’t know what to do and in a frantic effort to think her mind blanked. She stared up at Sephiroth as he fought to control himself and then failed to do so. Her eyes widened as he turned towards her, tears and pain reflected in his once bright gaze. She felt something in her chest break and reform as it reached out towards the wounded heart in front of her.

She didn’t know what possessed her to move, or what willed her to act. There were no thoughts going through her mind, no worry or questions. She merely moved, her arms reaching around him and pulling herself against him. Her eyes closed as if knowing he wouldn’t want her to see him in this state while her head rested against his chest as she held him close. Her hand remains on his arm for a second before sliding down to his hand.

It was instinct that pulled her close, her heart reaching out to his as if to act like a shield against the things that threatened him. She’d stay by his side; it was something that she promised silently to herself long ago and she hoped that he might believe it now.

“Let me be your strength.”

The words were soft, spoken with a confidence that Terra didn’t often show. She would hold him up if he felt weak just as he had done for her countless times before. He didn’t have to be alone with his worries or fears. He wouldn’t have to be alone ever again.

Not only could he see, but he could feel the pain reflected in her eyes, back at him as he made eye contact yet still tried to blink more tears away. It ached in the corners of his eyes, inside the edges of his nose to do so but he still tried to will himself to repair the wall that had come crashing down just now. He wasn't even sure what had caused it; it wasn't like Terra hadn't said something like that to him before. Sephiroth had always just smiled lightly but never really taken the words in very deeply and it seemed that this time Terra's words were like the spear that had finally shattered his resolve.

She couldn't know how long that had been coming; heck he wasn't even sure himself. For sure, when they came back from Flence things looked to be getting better with him...yet it seemed as always that something always leaped out from a corner he wasn't looking, to drag his once-proud confidence back to ground level.

It was all he could do but to lean in towards Terra as she moved in, without even another sound, to hold him. Her tiny hand and arm around his back felt warm and more comforting than he felt he even deserved; almost uncomfortably smothering on top of the thudding ache which had started to ripple through his middle in the wake of the utterly wretched way he was starting to feel. Thick black, soaked eyelashes crunched closed while he kept his head down but -after a moments hesitation- the grip of his hand around Terra's indicated where words and other actions couldn't. He needed something to hold onto, but the last thing he wanted was to drag Terra down with him.

Another, deeper sniff followed and his opposite hand came in to wipe stubborn wetness away from his face. One cheek and then the other was rubbed as Sephiroth fought to raise his head once more, he squinted his eyes and looked just at the back of his coat as it hung on the wall.

"I-" Sephiroth swallowed, needing to clear his throat where it had tightened. He didn't feel strong enough to look down at Terra, to chance the distress she easily saw across his expression to be shared again, so he spoke to the back of his coat. A moment of clarity stirred in his subconscious as he arrived at the only answer that he had left.

"-I don't know how..."

Terra wasn't about to move away. She couldn't see the expression on his face but she could feel the tension in his muscles and the way he shifted beneath her light embrace. She wasn't skilled at comforting others or empathizing with things that she didn't know but she knew her place was here. As if she could reach out with some invisible force to lift him from his pain.

He didn't want to bring her down and he wouldn't. While Terra was still figuring things out, her heart was strong. She'd hold him up and keep herself moving forward at the same time. It would take effort but it wasn't impossible. She believed in him and she believed in herself as well.

"We'll figure it out together."

She couldn't give him any answer that might solve this situation in an instant. She shifted slightly, her hand in his with her arm wrapped around his waist. Her chin lightly pressed against his chest as she looked up at him.

"I don't want you to be alone and it's okay to feel sad." It wasn't a weakness to cry or let your defenses fall. It would be a moment in time that would make Sephiroth stronger when his future finally caught up with him. For now he had to accept the way that he was feeling in order to truly move forward and to truly be happy. It might take time and it might be impossible but Terra would remain there to hold him until that time had passed.

All while Sephiroth were still stood there facing the coat rack with Terra wrapped around him, tension clinging to his whole frame like it might never relax again, he blinked intermittently feeling wretched in how wet eyelashes and the fact that the moisture wouldn't just go away just seemed to encourage more to well up from the knot of suppressed emotion that had essentially made it's home in his sinuses.

At her comment though, he near hiccuped a breath in and paused with his eyes shut. Almost as if he was in pain at hearing her say that they would figure it out together; the harsh reality being slapped in his face that Sephiroth simply couldn't fathom all of it alone made him feel more of a burden. Yet-

He turned his head downwards and towards her, opening his eyes a little at her face. Entertaining for a long moment...could they? It's clear in that moment that Terra wanted very much for him to let her in...and what reasons did he have to keep her closed off now? All the betrayal in the world was painted, naked, just behind his eyes as he cautiously looked over Terra as if really seeing her for the first time. His reasons were disgustingly selfish, of course, in that he didn't want to put himself in a position from which he might have to go through all of that again.

Sephiroth had only just settled from the renewed feeling of abandonment that both Genesis withdrawal into stasis, and Angeal's re-emergence had stirred up again. Then there was the data-leak courtesy of Palitutu; though given all that he had managed to piece together about his future...should he really have been all that surprised about the truth of his origins? He had been warned...Genesis had tried to warn him...

That fact made it worse though, somehow.

"Then why does it feel as if I've failed?" He managed to, lowly, drag some words together in response to Terra. His voice was thick with the sadness that he was trying to get a handle on, while it did seem that the persistent tears had stopped now that he was distracted in trying to decide, once and for all, whether he could...whether he should give that chance of real friendship one more try with Terra.

To consider it, felt both sickly and exciting at the same time.

Terra could feel the tension in his body as she held herself close. She didn’t know if she was helping but she didn’t want to pull away either. Her thumb lightly glided against his hand, a soft gesture that might allow him the smallest measure of comfort.

When he turned his head down she shifted to look up at him, her blue gaze meeting his. Her expression was soft, supportive and confident. She believed in him as well as herself with an unwavering faith that couldn’t be matched. It has been months since the last time she tried to give her support and she was stronger now. She rested her head against his chest, her eyes never leaving his. She could feel his heart beat in her ear and in response her lips curled up ever so slightly.

“I was told that feelings aren’t always facts. How you feel is important, it should be recognized, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be true. I don’t think you’ve failed but if you do then we’ll work to fix it. We only need to have courage.”

For a long time Terra thought that courage was something she lacked. She didn’t think so anymore, she knew that she could face the future no matter what it brought because she knew that she wouldn’t be alone.

“Do you trust me?”

With one hand resting on his waist and the other hand holding his she pulled away, adding an inch to the space between them. She knew that it was a difficult question and with it carried many different implications but Terra knew that she trusted him. She considered him a very close friend.

Having had his emotional state surge and break the barriers that it was usually contained within, Sephiroth found that even as it was calming down it left behind it a different sort of awareness that pulled his attention towards the smaller things.

The gentle gliding of Terra's thumb against the back of his hand as she held it, seemed to contain within the gesture a disproportionate amount of comfort which couldn't be logically possible. The expression across her face and within her eyes, though soft and delicate as was everything in Terra's nature, seemed to communicate a strength of character which almost had him immediately believing that it wouldn't matter what his problems might be; she'd be strong enough to help him support them. If only he could let her to do so.

A new sensation of warmth swelled within his chest, briefly as Sephiroth's thoughts quickly ran towards the fact that he had enabled her to become so strong. That maybe...just maybe...something better had begun to grow out of his troubles. That pride, and a newer sense of belonging that had begun to grow out of the fact they'd spent so much time around each other wanted to believe, needed to believe in her...and that this can be worked through. Even though, on his own as was his habit, Sephiroth felt almost completely worn out.

He swallowed and it was less a wet-sound than it had been for several minutes as he tightened his grip around the thin fingers that still help his hand and half-turned towards Terra as she pulled back a little, his opposite hand came across to gently hold her hand to his as if her next intention was to let go. Sephiroth hadn't figured out a great deal of how he felt towards Terra but he knew that he had a strong fondness for her and wanted to hold onto that with all that he had right now.

"I-" It was a complicated question, indeed, and not one that the once-legendary SOLIDER could answer very easily. The implications were only half of it, being as Sephiroth's honesty was one of his golden traits; he wouldn't say that he trusted her and not mean it.

"-trust is a very hard thing. For me." Eventually the words fell down into the space between them and within a few seconds he rushed to add a comment. The last thing he wanted to do was to turn her away, brush her off in his stubbornness when it's now become obvious that he can't handle it alone. It's a bitter pill to swallow, when one had always managed to keep oneself in order before.

"I mean it...it didn't ever work out for the best in the past."

Terra paused as he moved to hold her hand in place. Her gaze looked up at his curiously. She wasn't going to pull away from him but feeling the warmth of his hand, the desire for her to stay near made her heart flutter and her doubt waver. He wanted her to stay, to be close and while physical things weren't Terra's strong point she felt close to him now. As if her hand in his was where it was meant to fit; perfectly intertwined. Thin fingers held safely within the calloused roughness of his hand.

After her surprise settles her lips curl into a soft smile, her gaze and countenance remaining strong even though she suddenly felt weak. Her heart fluttered in her chest while her knees felt like they might collapse.

"Then we will start there." Her voice was only a whisper but her confidence was evident. She knew that things wouldn't change over night. It wouldn't be quick but the first step was for Sephiroth to feel as if he wasn't alone anymore. Terra would be there for him and while that might be a fact the tall rueful warrior had to believe it as well.

"Even if it takes time... if you can try again. We aren't in the past anymore... right?"

She didn't want to hurt him but Terra knew how hard it was to leave the past behind. She was still working to do so and if her nightmares were any indication she still had a long way to go. Each morning she'll face the sun with a smile. She'll make her world as she wished it to be and that world had Sephiroth in it. Like the rising of the sun, she never wanted that to change.

The rougher parts of his hand, mostly across the ridge of his palm and a little along the edge before his thumb almost didn't feel right as it was holding against Terra's. Sephiroth had never had such a problem with callouses and hardening skin before he'd come to Crystallis but he knew well enough that it was a consequence of living his life here; skin didn't regenerate at mako-enhanced levels, and considering how much manual work he'd put in -in one way or another- it seemed to make sense. He flexed fingers within hers as they intertwined as much as was physically possible.

It felt like he would be able to cling his entire self-confidence onto the way their hands were held together and, given the unexpected confidence he was sensing from Terra in her support it took a great deal of willpower not to simply buckle and just let her to help...it felt natural, strangely, to do so.

"Right." A shallower breath was taken as finally the extreme hotness behind his eyes began to cool off. It left behind it a deep sense of embarrassment; Sephiroth felt ashamed to have broken like that at all...much more so that he'd been present in anyone's company. That it had been Terra added a sting to it as well. How could she ever see him as the strong one now?

"I don't mind...to try." Sephiroth seemed to shudder with the thought of reaching out, even just tentatively doing so to form not only a new, truer type of friendship but to have with it a level of trust that he had taken great steps to lock so deeply away inside himself.

He blinked, looking away from Terra and down at the floor again; stuck oddly somewhere between ashamed and hopeful...it was a strange combination that just wouldn't settle down within him. Sephiroth felt almost uncomfortably warm and a little tingly still in the wake of his outburst.

"Did he ever tell you...what had happened before?"

Clearly, it seemed that the first step had to be reconciling some of the heavy demons that caused Sephiroth to be so cautious with other people and their notions of friendship and trust.

To Terra, Sephiroth will always be strong. He was brave, tried his best to help everyone, even those he didn’t understand or like, he continued to stand for what he believed in and put more than all of his effort into each and every task. There was no way that she could see him as anything but the strong warrior he strived to be. Now it was unquestionable, without any hesitation Terra knew. It takes strength to let someone in, to put forth effort and to move forward, more so when you’ve been hurt in the past. He’d come back from this and his journey would make his stronger than before.

Her lips were set into a soft smile, her cheeks flushing as his fingers intertwined with hers. Her hands were soft, having not handled anything except a few pots since arriving in Crystallis. The contrast was comfortable and she knew that holding his hand she’d be safe. His words lifted her heart though she tried not to show it. She was happy. She desperately hoped that he might be feeling the same thing too.

She felt closer to him.

Terra knew who the ‘he’ Sephiroth was referring too. There really was only one person that it could be. “I only heard stories about the three of you in the military.” Most of which were comical. “He always spoke of happy times.” She knew there was more to it, she could tell but she had never asked or pried.

“He made it sound like you were close.”

He didn't feel all that strong. Currently it still felt as if he were 10 years old again and this was the aftermath of a great tantrum, a blow up over the very simple fact that life didn't always go the way that he wanted it to. He felt selfish over it, and having brought Terra down to his level wasn't acceptable at all. His issues were his own and while they did need to be worked through, he wasn't comfortable at all with the notion of taking help to heal with.

For some reason though, she was still holding his hand, still comforting him when he didn't really feel like he deserved it...she hadn't turned away and just left him to it. Almost as if he couldn't believe that, he looked down between them and inspected how their hands were still joined and forced his other one to release where it was almost clinging to her wrist.

"We were, before." Sephiroth swallowed and tried to control how deep his conscious thoughts might be drawn back into those memories. He didn't want to end up crying over that he couldn't change now...not that many of the reasons for this burst hadn't been borne of similar facts.

"Genesis and Angeal were the only ones I'd ever let myself become anything close to friends with." The attempt to further explain settled in the back of his throat as he rose his eyes to connect with Terra's again. Those blue eyes shining with a strength he had never seen before guided him to expand his comment.

"Until Genesis took a small army and defected from Shinra. Angeal followed, with the intention to remain at least partly neutral but it all spiraled out of control...the truth, destroyed everything."

Truth that he now knew, that he didn't feel that he could keep from Terra anymore.

Her gaze followed his, looking down at where their fingers laced together. She felt her heartbeat race in her chest while a slight pink tinted her pale cheeks. She liked holding his hand though she didn't want to tell him why. As his other hand loosened around her wrist she inhaled a long breath, her bright gaze looking up at Sephiroth.

She's patient and she's willing to listen for as long as he felt like talking. She didn't know what it was like having friends before coming to Crystallis but she knew how deeply her friends buried themselves in her heart; how deeply Sephiroth was in her heart. She didn't want to guess what it might feel like if those friends turned away.

"The truth?"

Terra knew about JENOVA from walking into his dream but she didn't know what truth might have caused such a rift between friends. Even Genesis talked about their time together fondly, she didn't think that any of them wanted to part ways.

Within all the other emotions beginning to recede, Sephiroth could attribute his own thudding pulse to any single one of them; pain, anger, sadness - that it might be as a result of his fondness for Terra was outside of his awareness. Her small hand had given him something to hold onto, the gesture itself encompassing her words as if she hadn't needed to say them; she was there for him. She wanted to help. She wanted him to be happy too.

That time, in discussion now, had been the only time that he'd opened up to friendship where he'd spent the majority of his childhood carefully isolated away from what could have been 'detrimental influences' in the opinion of a father who -now he knew- ultimately hadn't wanted him. Sure, he was praised as the successful product of a great experiment, but not recognized for his own self. It was little wonder he pursued perfection so fervently.

"The truth. That we were all different branches of the same experiment...of which I was the successful product. Somehow I would always inspire jealousy, rivalry and inevitably outright betrayal. The fact that, like his poetry book it's quite likely that it was all plotted out by others to have gone that way-"

Sephiroth caught his voice in a noise similar to a hiccup which he sternly dismissed away while pulling his eyes from the floor where they'd become heavily drawn. He swallowed a dry, solid feeling in the back of his throat and made his gaze climb the side of Terra's cheek back to those bright blues.

"That everything I'd been raised to believe, my whole life, was ultimately a lie..." The last part dropped to an almost incomprehensible whisper.

"...he tried to tell me."

Terra knew what it was like being isolated from others and while she stumbled through most things she was finally able to reach passed that. It had taken over a year of errors and attempts for her to be able to create the relationships she had now, however she hadn’t had the misfortune of lost relationships. She hadn’t had trust crack and then shatter beyond repair. She could hear the pain in his voice and see it in his eyes as she looked up at him.

She didn’t waver, she wouldn’t let herself feel weak or back down. Even as the word experiments sunk into her thoughts. He was like others she knew in her world, products of experiments; experiments she and the other Espers had made possible.

“Loveless?”

Her throat felt try and she didn’t even know if she should speak. His words were digging into her heart as he granted her the knowledge that few were privy too. She didn’t know what else to say. Terra could only hope that listening was enough to ease his suffering.

She swallowed as he whispered, her grip on his hands tightening slightly. She didn’t want Sephiroth to hurt and the thought of Genesis only seemed to ignite that flame. Genesis had been her friend but she never knew that he carried around this horrible secret. Even after telling her all those wonderful stories he never hinted at it, there was never any pain in his voice.

It wasn’t fair.

No matter what she would stay strong. For Sephiroth she could be strong but with each word she realized how similar they truly were. The pain, the feelings, she could understand them all. She realized there was very little she could do besides standing next to him and holding onto his hand.

Perhaps the saddest fact was that Sephiroth, the pillar of strength that he forever held himself up to being, had at his core a trust that had been shattered right the way through the middle. It was the reason for the walls he put up, the reason why he preferred to isolate himself when things were proving difficult, the reason why he quite often made a habit of surrounding himself with other things; his work, his volunteering, even the responsibility he'd taken upon himself in looking out for Terra as a bodyguard.

"That's right." He answered as she spoke of Genesis' obsession. In Crystallis, his once-comrade hadn't quite been as swallowed up by the story as he had when Sephiroth last recalled seeing him on Gaia, but still the sharp arrowhead of betrayal were still lodged in him. He'd let that color his judgment, flavor his reactions, contribute way too much to his lacking temper with the other SOLDIER.

"Genesis wasn't in his right mind, I don't think. He wasn't well, at all, when we were back home. He'd always apply verses from LOVELESS to any and all situations which he found himself in...it really got quite tiresome, in the end."

Sephiroth lightly squeezed at Terra's hand when she tightened her grip a little and raised his head up and back; taking a deeper breath in now that the tears had stopped welling up. There was something about him that seemed to indicate that they could easily be brought back though; a weakness of character almost foreign in what most people were lead to believe of him. Inside, he fought with thoughts that now dragged his consciousness towards that last fateful scene in the reactor, which he remembered now as being before his time in Crystallis.

"I'm sorry, this probably doesn't make any sense to you."

Terra shook her head while that confident smile stayed fixed across her lips. It was true that not all of it made sense but then it didn't really have to. She knew enough to form a picture and understand. She didn't think she'd ever understand his situation fully but that was because she wasn't him. She had lived through her own trials which had shaped a different perspective.

She lightly tugged at his hand hoping to guide him towards the couch and away from the front door. She couldn't claim what was going on in Genesis's head when he was first in Crystallis but Terra never thought that he was trying to do something bad. Perhaps he wanted his friend back as much as Sephiroth did though she wasn't sure if Sephiroth would believe that.

"It's alright."

Terra had little words of comfort for the strong hero. She was only happy that he might feel less of a weight on his shoulders. There wasn't to much she could do now but she'd remain at his side.

"Can I get you anything?" She wasn't sure if he was thirsty or hungry or if he'd rather just have time alone to think.

The next thought that crossed Sephiroth's mind was warm, prickly and settled somewhere between his gut and the center of his chest. If he had a way, to somehow open his mind to Terra and simply let her know all of it without him having to express it, to somehow will her to understand, he'd do it right there and then without a moments hesitation. Yet at the same time, the fact that she were still stood there and had not simply left him to sort it out on his own was completely new ground to the elite SOLDIER. It had always been the way for him, in growing up, after all.

At first it didn't seem that the light tug to his hand would do anything but move his arm in her direction, in fact Sephiroth curiously looked over Terra's face again as if to silently ask what she were trying to get him to do. A chill, most likely a draft from the fact they were still stood in the hallway, seemed to make itself more prevalent to him just then though and after that moments hesitation Terra found it easy to lead him into the main room and to the couch.

He did seem to feel less of a weight on his shoulders, but it was as if the lifting of that weight had dug something out of him that was important as well. Sephiroth had always been proud, confident and seemingly sure of himself when faced with adversity; that had been broken a little now, defeated. At Terra's intention, Sephiroth slipped himself down onto one side of the couch and drew his hands back from her to rest on the top of his knees. He was sat forwards some, residual tension preventing him from relaxing enough to sit back into it.

As when she had first tried to get him to move, it was equally delayed when she asked if she could get him anything. Thoughts clouded his awareness, pounded like thunder on the inside of his consciousness and as a result he felt strangely detached from himself. Hollow in a way.

Then he remembered.

"You should get on with the soup you had planned. I know you were looking forward to cooking tonight."

Also non-looper; Flower Shop/end of her day

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